Night out, was a challenge
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Night out, was a challenge
Just back from a night out to see a friend of mine DJing. Was dreading going as I've never been to an occasion like this and not had alcohol. I was with two girlfriends too and I could see them getting 'merrier' and more 'into it' as the evening progressed. I kind of felt like a bit of an outsider, sipping my Diet Coke. Just as we were leaving one place to go to another my ex boyfriend walked in with a new girlfriend. We did awkward hellos and then left. I felt so wobbly and slighly traumatised by the experience but 'swallowed it' laughing and smiling. Oh boy, that was so hard. I had one more coke in another place and said my goodbyes. So, I'm sober as a judge but feeling really strange, slightly detached, excluded from the 'bubble of fun' and feeling slighly upset about my ex. I kind of feel like I'm back st school, feel vulnerable, excluded and forgettable. I guess these are all the hidden issues I need to deal with. One good thing is, I won't have a hangover
tomorrow.
tomorrow.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Georgie, I remember feeling that way in the early months of recovery. I got a bit emotional & teary a few times. It all got better & easier as I gained strength & some sober time.
It's so true what you said - there are hidden issues we need to deal with. I numbed myself against all my insecure self-consciousness - and therefore I never matured or grew the way I should have. You're doing a great thing for yourself by living life clear-headed, with eyes wide open. Proud of you!
It's so true what you said - there are hidden issues we need to deal with. I numbed myself against all my insecure self-consciousness - and therefore I never matured or grew the way I should have. You're doing a great thing for yourself by living life clear-headed, with eyes wide open. Proud of you!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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My first attempt at socializing was a bad one. I got through the evening, smiling and clenching my fists, but the upset stayed with me and the next day I was out buying wine. I'm glad you got through that and recognized that it was doable, though hard. Good job on your recovery.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Georgie, I remember feeling that way in the early months of recovery. I got a bit emotional & teary a few times. It all got better & easier as I gained strength & some sober time.
It's so true what you said - there are hidden issues we need to deal with. I numbed myself against all my insecure self-consciousness - and therefore I never matured or grew the way I should have. You're doing a great thing for yourself by living life clear-headed, with eyes wide open. Proud of you!
It's so true what you said - there are hidden issues we need to deal with. I numbed myself against all my insecure self-consciousness - and therefore I never matured or grew the way I should have. You're doing a great thing for yourself by living life clear-headed, with eyes wide open. Proud of you!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by Anna
My first attempt at socializing was a bad one. I got through the evening, smiling and clenching my fists, but the upset stayed with me and the next day I was out buying wine. I'm glad you got through that and recognized that it was doable, though hard. Good job on your recovery.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by loulou1981
The main thing is u got through it, plus atleast u didn't trip over in front of the ex or slur ur words😉😉
Feel proud of urself, im sure ill b feeling the same on my 1st night out!
Feel proud of urself, im sure ill b feeling the same on my 1st night out!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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It gets easier with more sober time. 
I was recently visiting family and at dinner they asked me if it would bother me if they had a beer. I said, of course not, and it didn't bother me a bit as I am quite secure in my sobriety. 
I was recently visiting family and at dinner they asked me if it would bother me if they had a beer. I said, of course not, and it didn't bother me a bit as I am quite secure in my sobriety. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,434
HI Georgie
I think most of us felt out of place when we got back into socialising.
I took a few months off from any socialising involving alcohol and I built up my 'sober muscles' by going on coffee dates,. picnics, museums art galleries - anything where I was unlikely to find large scale alcohol consumption.
when I knew I could handle anything and anyone I stopped being so cautious - but I found a room full of people trying to drinking themselves stupid isn't really my ideas of fun anymore.
I have a LOT of fun now, I'm not self conscious about beign a non drinker, and my social life is the best it's ever been...but not much of it happens in clubs or pubs.
D
I think most of us felt out of place when we got back into socialising.
I took a few months off from any socialising involving alcohol and I built up my 'sober muscles' by going on coffee dates,. picnics, museums art galleries - anything where I was unlikely to find large scale alcohol consumption.
when I knew I could handle anything and anyone I stopped being so cautious - but I found a room full of people trying to drinking themselves stupid isn't really my ideas of fun anymore.
I have a LOT of fun now, I'm not self conscious about beign a non drinker, and my social life is the best it's ever been...but not much of it happens in clubs or pubs.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
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Well done on overcoming a challenge Georgie!!
For me, when I am sober I am simply not interested in the same things. As a drinker, I loved all nighters, parties, gigs, staying up for days, going wild, dancing, generally being a bit of a nightmare. On my first married xmas, I went out xmas eve, got wasted and came home at 7am. I used to tell these stories as a joke but it was rubbish really.
I guess the first time it was easier as I was pregnant / had a new baby so I wasnt able to do the old stuff anyway and I had a whole new thing to occupy my time and mind. I thinm its about changing some of those old interests, maybe looking for more gentle social activities like a craft group or book club. I have recently just started volunteering at brownies and am planning on joining a choir. Its so hard having to overhaul your life and see things and friends in a new light. But you will xx
For me, when I am sober I am simply not interested in the same things. As a drinker, I loved all nighters, parties, gigs, staying up for days, going wild, dancing, generally being a bit of a nightmare. On my first married xmas, I went out xmas eve, got wasted and came home at 7am. I used to tell these stories as a joke but it was rubbish really.
I guess the first time it was easier as I was pregnant / had a new baby so I wasnt able to do the old stuff anyway and I had a whole new thing to occupy my time and mind. I thinm its about changing some of those old interests, maybe looking for more gentle social activities like a craft group or book club. I have recently just started volunteering at brownies and am planning on joining a choir. Its so hard having to overhaul your life and see things and friends in a new light. But you will xx
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