Marcutah1

I fell of the cliff this past Friday. I got laid off from my job due to loosing work to China and was very quiet and withdrawn about it. I went to my favorite camp spot but not before buying a pint of my favorite drink. I was only going to have two shots and then put it away. Well that did not work, before I finished setting up camp I had finished the whole pint. Several hours later my friends came up to join me (they did not know about my employment situation) and the party was on. All that to say 5 months sober went right out the window. I was amazed how fast I went back to my old habit. It took until Monday before I felt human again. I am not having any cravings like I did when I first quit drinking for which I am thankful for. I seem to have picked up my sobriety where I left off. My problem is the very heavy heart I have and I am not sure how to restore it. My wife is handling my set back better than me. I guess i am just mad at myself for letting the AV out so easily. Thanks for listening. Just doing this has helped.

orderfororder

Hey Marcutah.

You're back on board and that's what matters most. Two shots, two beers, whatever idea of moderation you come up with...it never works when you've got issues with alcohol. So don't beat yourself up about it, consider it a learning experience and continue onward.

Maudcat

Glad you’re back.
Just try again.
You can do it.

least

What can you do differently from now on to make sure you don't relapse again?

Dee74

I'm sorry about your job marcutah and for your relapse - but I'm glad you're back.

I have shared before how I bought a bottle too about 6 months into my recovery.

I dumped it and came here for help.

Not trying to big note myself - just saying it's possible

I think we really have to work for the outcome we want - I wanted to be sober forever more than I momentarily wanted to be wasted.

Sometimes we have to stop breathe and let the right ideas come to us.

D

Delilah1

I'm glad you're back, and I'm sorry about the job, I know how stressful that is. My husband lost his job a few years ago and it threw us for a loop for quite some time.

Get back to doing whatever helped you stay sober, being clear headed will let you face this job search head on.

You can do this!!

Guener

I have to agree with everyone here about starting over again. It's a reset, it's not a catastrophe to have to begin again. I'm sorry that you lost your job, that's one of the most difficult life events that a person can face, I know. Beating yourself up isn't going to help you to return to sobriety, but taking action towards doing the things that worked for you, finding some ways to deal with emotional hardship without letting that turn you over, and beginning again on the alcohol and the job fronts are certainly things to pursue faithfully.

D122y

M,

For me...the deal w the whole relapse thing is fundamentally bio chemical.

us drunks have to understand we have permanent brain damage. It is irreversible. We will crave for life.

good, bad, happy, sad, bored, partying...whatever...is an occasion to drink.

suffering through that is part of the hell we get to deal w for the rest of our lives...or we relapse and start again....keep drinking and die a big fat drunk someday.

I call it growing up. I don't envy drunk people. They are a chemically altered version of themselves and they are very likely addicted to booze and actively drinking.

knowing is half the battle won.

thanks.

Ayers

See it as a blooper . It happened. but you didn't keep and keep drinking. You came right back and started again. Kudo's for that. Don't beat yourself up about it , it will only affect you in a negative way. Try and look at the positive side - you didn't throw in the towel and give up. I feel for you for for feeling that you threw 5 whole months away, but don't look at it like that - you had 5 months of wonderful sobriety of which you drank 1 (ONE!!!) day.

GotMyBackPack

So glad you're back Marcutah!
'Messed up' is not the right approach to your choice. 'Fantastic Learning Experience' is more like it. You made a choice, recognized that you didn't like it, and then redirected yourself. That. Is. HUGE. Congratulations for choosing YOU and your well being. You can do this.

LivinInLV

Wow such similarities. I too had 5 months sober, lost my job, and I relapsed. However my husband is not even talking to me right now.

We both were to go to his moms on Tues. for 3 days, but after my actions on Monday, I was told I was not going with him. He's due to come home tomorrow and I do not know how I am to act around him. I know he's been hurt so many times with this cycle we have been on. Again I don't now how to act.

I have been going to meetings every day & doing some reading and I wish he could see that this time I have accepted I am an alcoholic. I am just afraid of him being so verbally mean. (He can be so brutally honest)

I needed to get on here and read everyone's postings cause I am feeling very vulnerable & raw right now. And I don't want to do anything stupid.

Thanks for posting today.

Dee74

I'm not sure if you mean verbally mean as abuse or just blunt. Abuse is never ok - but I definitely had some resentments directed at me for past behavior with friends or family.

I hope that as you stay sober things will get better LivininLV - they did for me.

How are you going Marcutah?

D

LivinInLV

He will say things that will hurt. Very blunt as you put it. I just need to prepare myself for that. And make sure I set my self up for support in this journey.

Marcutah1

Thanks everyone, 7 days sober and feeling like I have picked up where I left off.

Dee74

congrats on your week Marcutah
Hope things are ok with you too LivinInLV

D

Free2bme888

Marcutah and LivinInLV—

You are on the right track by being here .

You are STILL part of my aMayzing class 2018 and would love to support you there as well. Look for the May 2018 class and the support threads..

I hope my post finds you both through another day sober and another day into your freedom.

❤️

Oregongirlsite