Chilledice

I remember that they suggested I write my thoughts down but I decided to make a drawing of the monster inside my mind that torments me.

My FIRST attempt at actually drawing something so im no expert LOL

Chilledice

Im goona upload the drawing now, hang on.

Chilledice

Awwwwwww it wont let me upload the picture, it has to be smaller!

Chilledice

First timetime drawing lol

tealily

Thank you for sharing, Chilledice. I think it's a great idea to try to analyze it and express yourself in this way. Will you share it with your doc?

I think the idea of a "monster" in the mind, when talking about anxiety, is actually something many people can relate to .. I know in cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD, especially in children, therapists sometimes try to get kids to think of the OCD thoughts as orders coming from a needy, bossy, bullying, but actually silly, monster that they need to shut down, ignore, brush off. They have them describe it and give it a goofy name, and realize it's not their fault or caused by them, but a brain glitch that can be ignored or shut down and banished.

It seems that you are on track to getting help with your recent evaluation. Hope things start getting better each day.

PhoenixJ

Chill- great stuff. Who gives a crap about how it looks? That is what I tell myself every ime I sketch/paint something. I picked up brushes for the furst time ever about 10 months ago. It is my visual journal. I learn about myself by the process of creating something. If I get p.ssed off- I go to art. Never throw anything you draw away. Do not alter them or try to make them look better. Date them and write on the back how you were when you drew/painted it.
Keep it up.

Chilledice

Not the best drawing I know lol

I know for a fact that a lot of my ocd comes from my upbringing, grandfather was into exorcism and he used to talk about demons etc and my mother was like that too. Always had a fear of those things and THEN few years ago my christian therapist told me I was under demonic attack etc

So a NEW therapist who happens to be normal said it might be a good idea to write it down or draw it etc

Like a flooding technique

Chilledice

Thanks man I appreciate that, im dark inside at the moment and really only ME truly understands my mind so why not draw the dark stuff on paper I felt some release when I done that.

tomsteve

not quite true there, bud. im gonna go out on a limb and say that therapists you saw yesterday understands it- go back and think about and read what ya typed about the experience-"she was very understanding and didn't seem too shocked by my thoughts."

IF you understood your mind, would you be in the position you are in?
maybe its you that doesnt understand your mind?
seems ive read that from ya here.

Chilledice

.....I didn't think of it like that lol

Good points you made

PhoenixJ

If you put an inkblot in front of someone- you get a lot of different answers. It is like dreams.. Sometimes people who have had drinking dreams with weird stuff going on ask me for the significance of the dream. The answer- 'DON'T DRINK!'

whitejay

I like your picture.

Chilledice

Lol it's not great but im hoping to improve , thank you though

D122y

Chill,

Rest easy counting on the fact that w every passing moment clean you are healing.

Those times of peace and serenity become longer and longer.

Yesterday we had thunderstorms here and I was driving down the highway in the same truck,, w the same jerky person I was w over 2 years ago when I nearly collapsed.

I had anxiety, but I knew it was all in my head. It took several minutes to calm down. It felt like I had taken some steps back.

Everything has gotten better and better because I'm proudly clean.

Unlearning drinking is not an easy road.

Thanks.

Chilledice

The more that I go without drink the less I want it the picture is about my mental health.

aasharon90

I agree with whitejay... I like it.

I don't think I could have drawn a
monster that well from my own
imagination.

Maybe you have something inside
you that is a gift without you even
realizing it. The gift of ART.

Who knows, you may become famous
one day with your artistry. Those pictures
that come from your mind transferred
to paper with a simple drawing.

Chilledice

Signed "Chilledice" lol

I shall be practicing skulls today, my mom's friend is an artist and she said she will teach me

Don't worry I shant forget you all when im famous LOL

Mummyto2

Better drawing than I could do, I can just about draw a matchstick man, and even that is shocking ha

KES06

Thanks for sharing the picture. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of these horrible thoughts. But it seems you are managing well and are somewhat "conquering" this beast you drew. Just curious if maybe that means there is also a "warrior" in your head keeping this thing at bay and protecting you. Maybe you could draw that, too? And look to it for strength when this thing comes skulking around?

Chilledice

I'm holding on to hope

That's a cool thought maybe I could try drawing something like that!