This time of year is rough for me
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
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This time of year is rough for me
I felt really positive by the time I went to bed last night. I managed to talk to my boyfriend and tell him that my drinking is a problem, and he was supportive and told me he wants to help me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but then this morning shortly after I woke up the tears just started coming.
My beloved pugs left me last year--they were 13 and 15. One passed August 28 and the other Sept 23, less than a month between them. I've since gotten a new dog who I love very much, but the pugs were my first dogs and they went through almost half my life by my side. It still does hurt very much. To top it off, the anniversary of my father's death is Sept. 1.
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
My beloved pugs left me last year--they were 13 and 15. One passed August 28 and the other Sept 23, less than a month between them. I've since gotten a new dog who I love very much, but the pugs were my first dogs and they went through almost half my life by my side. It still does hurt very much. To top it off, the anniversary of my father's death is Sept. 1.
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
Hang in there Linners, sorry that this time of year brings back so many memories for you.
I know it's hard and we think that drinking will help us forget, but it just makes it harder in the end.
You can do this, really pleased that your boyfriend is being so supportive and you have someone to lean on.
I know it's hard and we think that drinking will help us forget, but it just makes it harder in the end.
You can do this, really pleased that your boyfriend is being so supportive and you have someone to lean on.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry for your losses.
You have every right to be sad. Grief is normal. And handling that sadness and grief sober is going to have to be the new normal for you. No numbing, no escape through alcohol.
Originally Posted by Linners820 
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
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Originally Posted by Linners820
I felt really positive by the time I went to bed last night. I managed to talk to my boyfriend and tell him that my drinking is a problem, and he was supportive and told me he wants to help me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but then this morning shortly after I woke up the tears just started coming.
My beloved pugs left me last year--they were 13 and 15. One passed August 28 and the other Sept 23, less than a month between them. I've since gotten a new dog who I love very much, but the pugs were my first dogs and they went through almost half my life by my side. It still does hurt very much. To top it off, the anniversary of my father's death is Sept. 1.
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
My beloved pugs left me last year--they were 13 and 15. One passed August 28 and the other Sept 23, less than a month between them. I've since gotten a new dog who I love very much, but the pugs were my first dogs and they went through almost half my life by my side. It still does hurt very much. To top it off, the anniversary of my father's death is Sept. 1.
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
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Originally Posted by heavencanwait
I am sorry for your loss. I too lost my sweet little Yorkie in March this year. It ripped my heart out. She was only 9 but got very sick with Cancer and Diabetes so fast! I understand your pain. I am still grieving her. They are like family. Keep hanging in there. I look at my new found sobriety as a sort of tribute to her. I also have the anniversary of my brothers death coming up September 12th. Seems like we share painful things in common. :-(
Lots of painful stuff just seems to always occur in September for me, and so even though here the weather is gorgeous, once I start to feel that slight change in the weather it sets off all kinds of emotions.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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I'm so sorry for all your losses.
Your post jumped out at me because it's the first anniversary of my dad's death on September 2nd and I'm already beginning to feel extremely churned up about it.
For 2 months after his death, I used my grief as an excuse to drink. Then I decided to twist my thinking and use the power of my grief to do something amazing in memory of my dad. I threw all the emotional weight of my grief into gettitng sober. I spent hours walking the dog in the rain crying in private. Then I'd go to my dad's grave and spend hours talking to him like he was still here. And day after day I'd stay sober. I figured I was already an emotional mess - in a way it was the perfect time to get sober.
9 months on and I'm beginning to feel secure in my sobriety. So now when I feel emotionally churned up about the approaching anniversary of dad's death, I just feel emotional - it doesn't cross my mind to drink.
I don't think there is ever a bad time to stop drinking. It's always going to be challenging and life is always going to throw extra challenges your way. You had a tough time this time last year so try to use the power of your grief and pain into building something positive and great - your sobriety. Then this time next year you will have that to celebrate. Good luck
Your post jumped out at me because it's the first anniversary of my dad's death on September 2nd and I'm already beginning to feel extremely churned up about it.
For 2 months after his death, I used my grief as an excuse to drink. Then I decided to twist my thinking and use the power of my grief to do something amazing in memory of my dad. I threw all the emotional weight of my grief into gettitng sober. I spent hours walking the dog in the rain crying in private. Then I'd go to my dad's grave and spend hours talking to him like he was still here. And day after day I'd stay sober. I figured I was already an emotional mess - in a way it was the perfect time to get sober.
9 months on and I'm beginning to feel secure in my sobriety. So now when I feel emotionally churned up about the approaching anniversary of dad's death, I just feel emotional - it doesn't cross my mind to drink.
I don't think there is ever a bad time to stop drinking. It's always going to be challenging and life is always going to throw extra challenges your way. You had a tough time this time last year so try to use the power of your grief and pain into building something positive and great - your sobriety. Then this time next year you will have that to celebrate. Good luck
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Thanks Kenton,
My dad's anniversary is Sept. 1 actually. it's been many years since he's been gone, it will be 15 to be exact. I lost him when I was 20, and never really got over it--but do you really "get over" that kind of loss ever? It just kind of becomes a part of you. He was my best friend. So this time of year weighs on me, and losing my pugs last year this time, a month apart no less, just seems like some cruel joke on the part of the universe.
I know now that I developed a habit of self-medicating my feelings away, whether they be stress, grief, etc. I didn't always used to do that. It just sort of snowballed. I think that we just need to be patient with ourselves, and remind ourselves that it's ok to feel things. I think that your sobriety is a wonderful gift to your dad.
My dad's anniversary is Sept. 1 actually. it's been many years since he's been gone, it will be 15 to be exact. I lost him when I was 20, and never really got over it--but do you really "get over" that kind of loss ever? It just kind of becomes a part of you. He was my best friend. So this time of year weighs on me, and losing my pugs last year this time, a month apart no less, just seems like some cruel joke on the part of the universe.
I know now that I developed a habit of self-medicating my feelings away, whether they be stress, grief, etc. I didn't always used to do that. It just sort of snowballed. I think that we just need to be patient with ourselves, and remind ourselves that it's ok to feel things. I think that your sobriety is a wonderful gift to your dad.
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[QUOTE=Linners820;6560948]Thanks Kenton,
My dad's anniversary is Sept. 1 actually. it's been many years since he's been gone, it will be 15 to be exact. I lost him when I was 20, and never "So this time of year weighs on me, and losing my pugs last year this time, a month apart no less, just seems like some cruel joke on the part of the universe. "
Hi! I am really glad that you have posted to talk this out. I lost my beloved dog on Thanksgiving day 2015. I posted about it here. I still dream about him. That combined with the loss of a parent it's also very hard. It would befor everybody.
I just want to caution you to be vigilant of your AV. It tries to trick us into believing that we deserve or need a drink, even that we want one when we know that is the complete opposite. Don't let your AV in. Always be vigilant of your thoughts and try to recognize it .
Have you checked out AVRT?
Keep posting and participating. Having this support is invaluable in helping you understand your issues and succeed. We are here for you.
My dad's anniversary is Sept. 1 actually. it's been many years since he's been gone, it will be 15 to be exact. I lost him when I was 20, and never "So this time of year weighs on me, and losing my pugs last year this time, a month apart no less, just seems like some cruel joke on the part of the universe. "
Hi! I am really glad that you have posted to talk this out. I lost my beloved dog on Thanksgiving day 2015. I posted about it here. I still dream about him. That combined with the loss of a parent it's also very hard. It would befor everybody.
I just want to caution you to be vigilant of your AV. It tries to trick us into believing that we deserve or need a drink, even that we want one when we know that is the complete opposite. Don't let your AV in. Always be vigilant of your thoughts and try to recognize it .
Have you checked out AVRT?
Keep posting and participating. Having this support is invaluable in helping you understand your issues and succeed. We are here for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Unfortunately there is never a 'good' time to quit drinking - but you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here to get you through sad times.
Drinking on grief never works anyway. We just get caught in a loop of sadness..drink..sadness...drink...
Not drinking we can move through the sadness to the other side
Unfortunately there is never a 'good' time to quit drinking - but you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here to get you through sad times.
Drinking on grief never works anyway. We just get caught in a loop of sadness..drink..sadness...drink...
Not drinking we can move through the sadness to the other side
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
All I could think of was why on earth I picked this time of year to quit drinking. Just feeling very sad right now. :/
OR why would you use the loss of loved ones as an excuse to drink? isn't it better to feel, honor and love those who have gone on before us, then to numb out their presence here?
OR why would you use the loss of loved ones as an excuse to drink? isn't it better to feel, honor and love those who have gone on before us, then to numb out their presence here?
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