Venecia

Wonderful post, Lady Blue. You've done such a good job of capturing the reality vs. the fancy.

Good to hear that your daughter is doing better, Dragon.

Tetra, I hope your day is going better. Sometimes, it can be revealing to step back and read what we posted when we weren't having a good day. And reflect upon what we can do to make positive changes.

Your choice of words -- "Daddy's Little Princess," "Golden People" -- suggests you've spent some time focused on them. That's not time well spent. There will always be others who *seem* to have everything -- and considerably more who have much less than us, thanks to the genetic lottery -- but unless we know the former intimately, we don't know what their lives are really like. Who knows, huh? Perhaps the woman getting married is a deeply kind person who, like her father and husband, has committed herself to becoming a doctor because she wants to help people and is prepared for the sacrifices doctors make.

What's troubling is that these emotion -- begrudging, sarcasm -- breed nothing but trouble for us. They feed upon themselves and poison us. That's not how people in recovery need to foster growth and discovery.

We all have moments of envy. I certainly do. But as a person in recovery, I've learned that I have so much more for which to be grateful. Gratitude helps me get through the tough times and it helps me grow through both good and bad.

Tetra

Thank you all for your thoughts.
Well to be truthful I've had a very hard time over the past month. It's difficult doing things with one arm and when you are in pain as well. When for example I am carrying something in my right hand and I come to a closed door, I have to knock to get some one to let me in or I have to find a place to put it down, open the door, and pick it up again. Add in the fact that I am stressed out, not sleeping, having nightmares and I just had a fight with my mother so I am not full of rainbows and roses these days. And it is ok to not be full of gratitude and joy all the time. we may feel upset or resentful rather than thankful. And that’s okay. Uncomfortable, but okay. No need to beat ourselves up for not brimming over with gratitude all the time.

saoutchik

I hope your wrist heals up soon Tetra, it must be very inconvenient.

My phone is giving me weather alerts for some heavy rain tomorrow . It's supposed to be summer.

STDragon

Made it safely into bed. The local project manager was suggesting we meet for drinks tonight. I'm relieved that didn't pan out.

happyandfree

You can have a drink stdragon....a diet coke, a seltzer, cranberry juice. But given the choice, I'd rather meet in a coffee shop rather than a bar.

BixBees505

STDragon, this made me shudder. I've been that team leader...needing to drink and ********willing********** the people around me to drink too.. ("please please please someone else have a few, so it isn't JUST sad old me with a drink in my paws.") omg. Beyond pitiful.

STDragon

Thanks, my only real worry about meeting for drinks is it would be a drawn out gathering while everyone had a few and I'd be stuck there wanting to leave.

BixBees505

STDragon, yeah, I understand. I really haven't put myself in that situation much since working on my own sobriety, but I don't think I'd have a real problem this time around. So in relating to your post, my memory went to being in the role where I was "hosting" a team after hours and feeling as I described. Remembering was like icewater in my veins. Never going back there.

BixBees505

Good morning, everyone. I am having very good mornings recently. I have a morning routing that really sets me up for a positive attitude and a can-do-take-no-prisoners approach to my work and the "have tos" in my days.

I'm just feeling so much better. In a little denial about my health? Heck yeah! More like I'm letting each day (week, decade) of the future take care of itself. I'm not there yet. So today is the day I will take very good care of.

I hope everyone is having a good sober day today, wherever you are in this world.

saoutchik

I' m glad you are feeling better BixBees. Your attidude to your health sounds eminently sensible, I would call it is a better perspective rather than being in denial as the future is not written in stone.

Dragon, glad those drinks didn't pan out. Depending on who you are with, not drinking when others are can be self conscious experience.

It is a paltry 12C (53F) today, summer appears to have thrown in the towel for the year.


Edit: It is also raining (only just noticed)

BixBees505

Sao, weather where I am "ought" to be 100 F this week and dry as a bone. Instead it is 73 F and raining day after day. Very strange. More enjoyable, to be sure,, but strange.

Awake61

I'm in. Going to take care of myself now. Done grieving over what I did or didn't do.

Gilmer

Hi, Awake!

saoutchik

Good idea Awake!

I am either going mad or I don't know what. For the second time in a few days I believe there is somone on the roof (it is a flat roof) Last time there was no one there at least not when I got there. It is dark here so there is no valid reason.

saoutchik

Well i'm not going mad because someone else heard it/them but I have no idea who what or why somthing or someone was up there. We have solar panels but there is no way to remove them discretely. The thick plottens.

Soberwolf

Quick pop in to say hiya

The weather should be back in the 30's in 2 weeks Sao

Hope all are well

STDragon

Hi SoberWolf, long time no see.

saoutchik

Hi Soberwolf!

I just had to go deliver some equipment, this is th A406 about an hour ago. Ugh!

MidnightBlue

Hi, weekenders.

I am in deep depression and hate the world.

Not much to say beyond this. I don't know, it seems no matter what I do, I am always depressed. Maybe I am just too hard on myself?

saoutchik

It sounds like you are being way to hard on yourself MidnightBlue. You have a new job and a new flat and you have not long come back from a business trip to the French Riviera. Perhaps you are just feeling dislocated by all the changes even though the changes are good ones.