Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Booze Culture and Peer Pressure - what is it doing to us? Weekenders 4th-6th August.

Blogs


Notices

Booze Culture and Peer Pressure - what is it doing to us? Weekenders 4th-6th August.

Old 08-04-2017, 08:27 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
 
chiquen81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by applewakesup View Post
Drinking culture is definitely ingrained in life in Baltimore. However, active life is as well. It's very easy to find people who want to go kayaking, paddle boarding, hiking, running, etc. They generally drink beer afterwards, but it doesn't bother me to be around folks who are drinking.

That said, this weekend I am going paddle boarding and kayaking. I'm also going to the water ballet, which is such a campy, fun, Baltimore type thing to do.
Same situation here in Boston. Most, if not all, meetup groups involve doing an outdoor activity whether it be running or hiking and then meeting a bar after! Like, what is the point in that!? I tried to stop drinking a few years ago and my therapist told me to join meetup groups and get out to socialize and meet new people. The problem is that everyone ends the day at the bar. They are even opening these things called "paint bars" for people to go and paint while they drink. OH and I even tried a planting course for creating terrariums and the planting course was held in a BAR! It's like it is ingrained in all areas, but I think it is more noticeable if you have the obsession with alcohol and you're an alcoholic. Normal people can just take it or leave it.

I am just trying to figure out if every single event has ALWAYS included alcohol (like even in the 60, 70s or 80s?) or if this is a relatively new thing? (painting groups, plant/terrarium groups, even athletic groups)
chiquen81 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to chiquen81 For This Useful Post:
BixBees505 (08-04-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 09:47 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
saoutchik
Thread Starter
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,162
Welcome to Weekenders chiquen81! As to every event always including alcohol i'm not sure but my suspicions are that it was less prevalent in the past because (at least for the UK) it was the case that you went somewhere to drink or you did some other activity. In todays world those other activities include the option of drinking.

One other reason it may have been less is that in comparison to other commodities it is a lot cheaper. As an example when I became an adult at 18 in 1978 cheapish a bottle of wine was 3 and a litre of petrol (gas) was 15.5p. Today that wine would cost about 7 or two and a third times more. A litre of petrol today costs 1.13 or 7 and a third times more you can see how much less of hit to the wallet it is.


Originally Posted by Julia8 View Post
I don't know if this link will work if you don't have facebook, but thought it quite interesting that this video came up on my feed as this conversation is going on. It's about having to give a reason why you aren't drinking. Good stuff! Need more of this ok-to-not-drink-propaganda! (I don't know anything about the person on the interview.)

https://www.facebook.com/TonyBakerCo...4854916418106/
The link works fine Julia he was funny while making his point. Unfortunately for me I don't have his chutzpah but I have not found it too difficult to tell people that I no longer drink, basically I play it by ear depending on who O am with plus I minimise the occasions when I need to do it.

Hometime!
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
BixBees505 (08-04-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 11:37 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
saoutchik
Thread Starter
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,162
Now that I think about it I remember that at that time (1978) Britain was by no means a wine drinking country and the most popular was an uber sweet Riesling called Blue Nun and it cost 2.85 a bottle. When I was trying to impress a girl I would buy something called Niersteiner that was just slightly drier and just over 3 which I felt made it and by association me, classy.
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (08-04-2017), BixBees505 (08-04-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), Ruby2 (08-04-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 11:57 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've logged in to SR. Work/kids/summer are keeping me busy and the kids are barred from electronics so it looks too mean if I sit on the computer or my phone.

A woman I went to grade and high school with now lives in Plymouth England. She's headed out on holiday this weekend and posted pictures of her "gin for breakfast at Heathrow." No, thank you very much.

I was at a loss as to what I would do when I quit drinking. I had these romantic thoughts about drinking in which my universe expanded into all sorts of fun and creative realms. The reality was as Chiquen described and my universe shrank until I was at home, in an armchair, drinking by myself as I watched TV. But IMAGINING all those things I would see and do. Quite sad, actually.

Stick with the sober train and your world will get bigger again. I like BerryBean's post. I've never been so busy either! Or in a very long time. I've been invited to weddings and parties. I attend a bunch of AA social functions and enjoy myself. I show up to things when I say I'm going to show up. It's very liberating.
Ruby2 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Ruby2 For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (08-04-2017), bigsombrero (08-05-2017), BixBees505 (08-04-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 12:49 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,747
Power was out in our building today, so I used the engineering kitchen...
PrimaryRFThermalConversionUnit.JPG
Interesting what it can do to cheese....
STDragon is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
bigsombrero (08-05-2017), BixBees505 (08-04-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), Ruby2 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 02:13 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 24
I'm in!

It is hard when you have girlfriends that like to drink wine, margaritas, etc. They can have just the one... and you can't and it is hard to explain why that is because you yourself don't really understand why that is, exactly.

I find myself now gravitating to people older than myself for companionship. And women in AA.
CJHolden is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to CJHolden For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), Ruby2 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-04-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 02:23 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
Tucked up in bed at the end of Day 13 sober. I have actually had a nice day today - I haven't said that in a long time. I don't think I'm going to have any trouble in falling asleep tonight either. Sobriety is getting easier. I'm not going to get complacent as I know I will still be faced with temptations but I'm really not missing my wine at the moment.

Good night all - keep strong and stay sober X
Susiegirl is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Susiegirl For This Useful Post:
bigsombrero (08-05-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), Ruby2 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-04-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 02:38 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
saoutchik
Thread Starter
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,162
Welcome to Weekenders CJHolden. It cannot be easy having a partner that drinks but better to have a "normie" than a fellow struggler I reckon.

Talking of booze culture today (Friday) is International Beer Day, so the world has a made up celebration of beer day while in many parts of that world people do not have access to safe water. Priorities right?
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), Ruby2 (08-04-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 05:22 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
Purplrks3647's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 10,282
LOL Julia ~ Thanks for sharing the video...that is so true!

I don't think I ever tried hiding my habit....I was pretty obvious with my drinking - I drank in front of everyone.....a cry for help, perhaps? So if I mention to anyone who knows me that I'm giving my liver a break, they don't hesitate to say "That's a good idea!"
Purplrks3647 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Purplrks3647 For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 05:29 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tetra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,950
I've had a very very very rough week. Things at work were not great this week and I am mega stressed. As my consultant said when I spoke to him "things never run smoothly around here. You should know that". I am guessing that he went up to theatre giving out because then I got an e-mail saying things had changed again. Anyway not my problem and people can just get over themselves. I only did what he asked me to do.

I was at work later than usual yesterday evening and one of the doctors came in. He asked me how is my wrist now and told me to be careful as it could take months to heal. I was disturbed to hear this. He left and two other doctors came in. I told them what he said and the other one said "ok log into the system there and lets look at your x-rays". So I did and we looked at the reports which I had not seen. I noted one of them had written "diffuse osteopenia in this young woman". I asked what that meant and he said "don't worry. It just means you should drink more milk". Me being me I turned to Dr. Google when I got home. According to Web MD osteopenia is " bone density that is lower than normal peak density but not low enough to be classified as osteoporosis". Great. So I have to worry about this as well as everything else?

In about 10 weeks I will be 37. I am focusing on this a lot right now for some reason which is silly. I didn't know I had this thing until yesterday and the consultant orthopaedic surgeon said nothing about it to me. I feel resentful right now. Alcohol has robbed many things from me and alcohol and smoking and whatever else are a factor in this thing. The site did say it can be reversed by lifestyle changes (in my case give up smoking, coffee and take more exercise). Perhaps I could use it as some kind of wake up call?

Yesterday I got a call from a patient in a panic looking for biopsy results. All the doctors were at the clinic and I am not allowed to give any kind of results over the phone so I said I would fax a copy of the report to his GP. I called the patient again today as this weekend is a bank holiday plus my consultant is going on holidays now for 2 weeks and I couldn't in my heart leave the patient hanging for days with no results. So I wanted to check that he was ok. He told me "thank you. The GP phoned me this morning and everything is fine now. The results were good but thank you for taking the time to make sure I was ok".

Earlier in the week another patient turned up at the office door to thank me for every thing I did for him - getting the procedure organised and booking him back to clinic for the results so quickly. This is why I do what I do.

As my dad said to me today"be happy and spread your happiness around. There is nothing to be afraid of. Absolutely nothing". I will try not to worry and take this on board I guess.

I will start by taking more exercise and drinking more milk.
Tetra is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Tetra For This Useful Post:
bigsombrero (08-05-2017), Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), Purplrks3647 (08-04-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 05:42 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Purplrks3647's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 10,282
That was nice of you to call the patient to check on him, Tetra. What a super stressful job! I don't know how you do it.....or anyone in that field!

I'm a worrier too....my own mom has told me, "You worry too much!" Our parents are right, though....it'll just worsen that vicious cycle. I also need to get back into exercise....I don't think I'll get rid of coffee, though....baby steps for me!
Purplrks3647 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Purplrks3647 For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-04-2017), Tetra (08-04-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 06:07 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tetra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,950
Unfortunately I may be a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to my health. After everything I have been through who can blame me? (Alcohol related seizures etc.) My sister is also a doctor and she can be quite serious at times. I told her about it and she said "try not to worry. Just drink a glass or two of milk before you go to bed. Maybe take a vitamin D supplement or cod liver oil. Don't go over board with calcium supplements though as you don't want to give yourself a kidney stone".

I am actually seriously stressed. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic and I swear I can hear phones ringing. My work phone goes non stop. I told my parents about it and my dad just said "that is a sure sign that you are taking work home with you in your head. You need to learn to relax and leave work at work".I told my sister the phone story and she got very quiet and said "and do you hear voices as well?" I had to smile. No I do not hear voices.

So I will stick with the milk and exercise for now and try not to obsess over it. I imagine if it was very serious the orthopaedic surgeon would have mentioned it.
Tetra is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Tetra For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), Julia8 (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 06:10 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,747
We just found out this evening that my wife's best friend (met in kindergarten) passed away last night. She fought as hard as anyone could.

F U cancer.
STDragon is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 06:12 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,747
I carried a pager for years before cell phones became reasonable. I still get the occasional phantom vibration on my hip.
STDragon is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 06:14 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tetra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,950
I am sorry to hear of your wife's best friend STDragon. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Tetra is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Tetra For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-05-2017)
Old 08-04-2017, 06:19 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,747
So wouldn't you know it, I have to catch a flight on Monday and I loose my wallet. Well I didn't loose it, I knew exactly where it was. At work, in the dark, in the bathroom stall that I changed in before leaving. I called my co-worker who was still there and he can't find it. I'm in my car, nearly at work when I get this news so I drop into an absolute panic. Five minutes later, I get called back, the wallet was exactly where I said it was. Relief.
STDragon is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-04-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017)
Old 08-05-2017, 01:30 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
saoutchik
Thread Starter
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,162
Good morning Weekenders, I have had some coffee and am fit to join the human race.

STDragon I am sorry to hear about your wife's best friend. These things can be so capricious. RIP.
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), STDragon (08-05-2017)
Old 08-05-2017, 01:38 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
STDragon - so sorry to hear of your wife's best friend. It makes me grateful that my close friends, family and myself are of good health. I have depression but I think I'm coming out of it and its not going to kill me. Cancer is the worst thing ever. So sorry X

Tetra - how lovely of you to call that patient back to check that they were ok. I'm sure your kindness has gone a long way with that person.

Saturday today - Day 14 and its dry in the UK - Yay !!! Bring the day on X
Susiegirl is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Susiegirl For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-05-2017)
Old 08-05-2017, 06:58 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Good morning. Late rising this morning. Just had my first cuppa.
Should be a good day. Lots of things that need immediate attention. Working out priorities.
BixBees505 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BixBees505 For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017), STDragon (08-05-2017)
Old 08-05-2017, 02:38 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,747
Forecast was predicting rain, nothing but blue skies today.
STDragon is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (08-05-2017), LadyBlue0527 (08-07-2017), MLD51 (08-07-2017), saoutchik (08-05-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:18 PM.