AwkwardKitty

So earlier I told my mom I have a drink problem. She completely blew up in my face, said I shouldnt be working, shouldnt look after my sister ( i care for my sister who has disabilities), what if I get drunk and leave her and my son helpless, am putting them at risk. Bear in mind my mom was an alcoholic who spent most of my childhood in mental institutions. I said she should listen and not assume things that arent true and she said she knows all about what its like to be an alcoholic and she knows many others. I said not everyone was the same and that she knows people at real rock bottom, i said nobody starts at rock bottom and I was getting help at a much earlier stage. She responded yeah well I never thought I'd hit rock bottom either. Well that has totally put me off being honest. I am so angry. I wish I could have a drink after that.

ReadyAtLast

Firstly, please don't drink- it wont solve anything and you'll just feel ten times worse in the morning.

Maybe your mum is just worried for you, angry at herself for exposing you to alcohol, angry for not helping you sooner. It could be any number of reasons as to why she reacted that way

I am trying to learn I cannot control how other people react or what they do and say. but i try to control how i react to them and deal with it. I also try not to have expectations as will inevitably be disappointed.

Poppy79

I would think given your mum knows the struggles that she would be way more understanding and supportive
I suggest avoiding her for awhile if you can, the anger will subside in time hopefully.
I struggle with my mum not 'getting it'. Why can't I just stop or moderate she asks... WTF! Sometimes the people closest to us can be harsh and emotionally taxing. we can't control their reactions but hopefully we control our own. That in itself is a struggle I find.

Mummyto2

Situations like this I try and put myself in the other persons shoes, perhaps because your mum has been there herself she feels guilt shame etc etc, but dont drink as that makes it a lot worse, wishing you all the best

Anna

When I began recovery, I realized that I was looking for something my mother could never give me. For me, it was essential to accept that and to distance myself. I knew I wouldn't be able to manage her nasty comments so I stepped away, but maintained some contact.

Jezzi

I'm sorry she reacted so harshly. My thoughts are that she feels a combination of guilt and fear and doesn't know how to show it other than being angry. Try to stay focused on YOU and getting healthy. And whatever you do, DON'T drink thinking it'll make it better. Hang in there <3

Andagain

I remember when I told my dad I was suicidal as a teenager, his response to my suprise was simply anger. Its taken many years for me to learn to understand that its probably fear not being articulated in a very healthy way. That might be the case here. But if not, don't allow your recovery to be put in danger by the opinions of others.

sugarbear1

I'd look into my (your) reaction to your mom's opinion. Why did you feel the need or urge to drink? What fears do you have behind this situation?

Dee74

I'm sorry your mum reacted that way awkwardkitty.

If there's one thing I've learned tho it's I can't control other peoples reactions.
Everyone has their own stuff , their own baggage, their own perceptions and sometimes their own prejudices...

The important thing is you know what you're doing and why.

I'm glad you didn't drink - drinking at people is futile.

D'

Nowsthetime

Don't drink!

That will make her be right. Talk to us! We are here and we get it.

Ugh! Moms sometimes...

SimplyFree

Sounds like she was "projecting" her past issues towards you. When people blow up like that it is usually due to issues being stuffed or harbored by them. Those words and emotions are likely how she feels about her action while drinking in the past. Press forward with your recovery and keep your plan strong. All kinds of different reaction happen when we stop drinking.

AwkwardKitty

You guys are right, she absolutely was projecting.

I wanted to drink because thats my default reaction to any stressor. In the past I used t actually cause arguments with my husband to give me a reason to drink. I didnt know it at the time but looking back it was all orchestrated by me that way.

I am feeling calmer now after a very productive evening and lots of cuddles with my boy. I've got a lot of problems and flaws but being a mummy to him is the one thing I have most definitely gotten right. Thats all I will focus on.