AA Meetings-Feeling Intimidated
 

Hey All!

I posted this question in my introduction, but I wanted it to be it's own thread. Not trying to be repetitive.

I think having the support network from a local AA meeting place would be a strong first step in my recovery. However, I deal with anxiety and I'm actually quite nervous/intimidated at the though of attending an AA meeting. Can someone let me know what I should expect from the first meeting? Can I just walk into any meeting? Just looking for someone to help me feel a little better about going....

Thanks!

Hi MNVikes. There are a lot of really wonderful people in AA, and a fair number of SR folks use AA, it seems to me.

I have been to a fair number of AA meetings, early in my career when I thought I was losing my grip on my drinking (I was). I don't know how people could have been more welcoming and supportive.

There are "open" meetings, meant for people who are not ready for...or don't feel they need...utter anonymity. Guests and newcomers are most certainly welcome.
And there are "closed" meetings, only for those who identify as alcoholic.

Others here will be along to comment, I'm sure. I believe you would feel very welcome. Anxiety is natural, but they will put you at ease.

In a metro like Chacago, there will be a vast variety of meetings. Some lean toward an older crowd, some younger. Some will be more densely populated with people of a certain trade or profession. And they are available all hours to accommodate shifts and schedules. Don't be disappointed if the first one or two you try aren't a perfect fit. Check out a few.

The AA schedules usually give a clue as to the focus of each meeting...book study, or speaker, or discussion. No matter the type, the regulars will clue you in.

Thanks Bix. I tend to make things a bigger deal than it really is, I just need to go and I know it will be fine...damn anxiety. I guess I'm trying to understand what it is like, but I guess I won't know without going :) I imagine it as what I have seen on TV....people sitting in a circle in chairs telling stories about their alcoholism...not sure how close that is to reality

I think that sounds like a discussion meeting. They are popular. I found the book studies more organized and I do better if I know what to expect. I have anxiety too.

Down further in the list of forums, there is one that has specific focus on 12-step/AA. That might be a forum to look into and get a feel, as questions...

Good luck. I think it is fantastic you are planning concrete steps in real life.

Thank you Bix. I hope that this journey will be successful and I can share my story on here and with others in my life that I know are struggling with alcoholism. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy

I have no experience of AA but this link may answer a lot of your questions :)

Your First AA Meeting<

D

This looks perfect, reading through it now. Thanks Dee

I think the most important things to remember are...

Meetings are for anyone who wants to stop drinking (There is no 'not alcoholic enough' or 'too alcoholic')

You don't need to book ahead or give any on your full name. You can walk into any AA meeting anywhere (unless there are hender restrictions)

You don't need to say anything at all if you prefer not to

Everyone there will understand how hard it is walking into your first meeting because they remember it (even if only vaguely) and I don't know anyone who wasn't anxious at the start of their AA journey.

No one is expected to put money in the pot on their first meeting, but after the first meeting people put money together to go towards the running of the room

Everyone there is alcoholic. The people leading (acting as group secretary) are alcoholics as well. It is run for and by alcoholics. No one is the boss.

Different meetings have a different feel. Its worth trying different ones and finding the ones where you feel most comfortable.

On AA listings 'Open' means for alcoholics AND people interested for other reasons (sometimes professional capacity, or as a family member), 'Closed' meetings are for Alcoholics only.

If you have any questions after reading the link Dee posted and my little list, please ask away. No such thing as a silly question.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB

Just to clarify this a little... "open" means that the meeting is just that, for everyone - it has nothing to do with anonymity being chosen, per se. Many of us continue to go to Open Discussion meetings as the norm, adding other kinds- mens', womens', Big Book, 12&12- as we go along. Closed meetings are for members of AA only. Note: the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking.

As to your original post- many of us now committed to AA (me, for example) were nervous, resentful, apprehensive, grudging, all kinds of negative or wary things, before we went to our first meeting. I knew it was my last resort and was still exhausted and generally mad at life and it was a long time before I spoke in a meeting.

Like I said, the only requirement for "membership" is a desire to quit drinking. You may have people approach you, you may not. I personally came a little late and left a little early at first because what I found tedious- the reading of the steps and How It Works and such, usually done at mtgs held around Atlanta where I am- and the Serenity Prayer (usually done at beginning and/or end of the meeting, else The Lord's Prayer) all really grated on me. I went to meetings anyway and now at 17 mo wouldn't trade my life in AA for anything in the world.

Take care- only you can decide to quit drinking for good, and AA is one of the successful ways many of us stay sober. There is (for me and many people I know) much more to the program than just not drinking - part of finding that is why you will likely hear people suggest "90 in 90" (meetings in days) so that you give yourself time to have your head clear, get started being used to AA (so to speak) and have a chance to learn about a new way of life, sober.

You can do it! Hope to see you around here.

Stop worrying about it, just go.

And let us know how it went. If you are like me (and a lot of others) you may conclude, "that was helpful, why did I wait so long to do it?"

I remember walking into my first AA meeting, I was a nervous wreck, but everyone made me feel welcome, they have all taken that first step, good luck

Thank you Berry, this is all very helpful information. I really appreciate it. I'm feeling too full of anxiety and regret tonight to go, this is typical second part of my 2 day hangover so I'm hoping tomorrow I will feel great and go to a meeting. I might go drive up to MN from Chicago to spend time with family this weekend and talk to my bro-in law who is a former alcoholic

Thanks Mummy, I know everyone probably feels the same way I do, but I know starting to going to meeting is the first step in really admitting and taking action

Thanks Zebra, I know I just have to take the leap of faith and go. I am putting it off today because I am on the second part of my hangover where I really just want to be alone. Tomorrow I hope I will feel better and go....

Thanks August. I can't believe the overwhelming support from everyone here already. People really care and its awesome to see. I appreciate the advice on AA and yes I will probably find parts of it that I find "lame" or boring, but I have hear many good things about it and I know being with people in person that know the struggle we face will be very beneficial. I can't wait to give everyone feedback on my first meeting....should happen within a couple days

cmon, now, youre talkin yourself out of it. too full of anxiety and regret is a horrible excuse.
anxiety-a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
for me anxiety is a way fear shows.
i have 2 choices when that happens
F.E.A.R. =
**** Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Recover
and you can call your bro in law to talk with him. no excuse there either.

PLEASE dont let fear keep you from doing something that can give you a life youve never dreamed of.
Face Everything And Recover.

hope ya make the decision to get some courage to get to meeting NOW. whats the worst that can happen?
and i think you know what can happen if you keep talking yourself out of it.

I agree, go, it's worth the risk. Everyone there knowshow difficult the first meeting is for anyone. You'll do great!

AA Participation Should Be Confidential
 

My biggest concern with AA meetings is that some participants do not respect the need for confidentiality. A person who knew me revealed to others that I was attending AA meetings, and that caused many problems for me. After that, I had no use for AA.

I actually don't mind if people know I'm at AA. I'm not ashamed for trying to better my life. I don't know your exact situation though so I'm obviously not judging.