Andagain

Hey there soberfriends.

So, for some reason, today has been incredibly hard. I don't know if its my emotions going haywire from not drinking, or quitting smoking, or having too much work to do or my anxiety just burning me out but over the last few hours I feel this crushing sense of dread and misery sneak up on me and at this moment I'm in a pretty dark place.

I have to work through the night (due to me being sick I have a small mountain of work to overcome this week) and its pretty lonely sleeping and only having a small amount of time before my girlfriend goes to bed before I'm by myself with my cat again. So I think communicating with people here just helps a little.

Today I want to drink, or at least right now I do, so I just need to get through this very long evening and start again tomorrow. One day at a time.

doggonecarl

Early recovery is an emotional roller coaster. Down now...up tomorrow. Ride it out. Drinking will just trap you in the cycle of emotions that much longer.

SimplyFree

Hang tight!! It is truly only a moment. I had terrible mood swings and yes they are challenging, but like other withdrawals, they lessen the longer you go. They are what the AV uses to get us to drink. Deep breaths, know it is an illusion and that you are doing the best thing possible by committing to your sobriety. Think of the sober morning and be proud when you get there.

CreativeThinker

When I was feeling like you, I'd take a shower, get into something comfy and get into bed and read until I went to sleep. Hope tomorrow is a better day. It WILL get better!

Anna

Hi Andagain, I like CreativeThinker's idea of self-care. Find a good book to read and snuggle with your cat and enjoy your evening. I'm glad you came here and posted because we've all gone through the mix of emotions in early recovery. Know for sure that it will get better.

AwkwardKitty

I am with you AndAgain, I know exactly what you mean. The depression is suffocating, and it feels like the only way to stave it off is to hide in a drink just for a while and tomorrow, I'll be stronger and I'll deal with it then. Always tomorrow. Remember the drink doesn't solve the depression, it keeps it going.

Andagain

Hey everyone, thanks for all your kind messages. It's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this at this point in my recovery. Yeah, right now I have to blast through some work but I'm about 2/3rds the way through it. So in a few hours I'm going to do my best to cheer myself up, its so easy to just wallow in self pity on days like today. I think I'll read something, have a diet coke and have a snack or two while watching something fun on tv.

Just got to get through this last chunk of work and then I can start working to having a better night =)

teatreeoil007

Hang in there, friend. We are with ya and we care. A mountain of work to do could definitely be a trigger. Try not to let it bog you down; easier said than done, of course. We get it.