I need help!
 

After 2 years sober and multiple relapses with TMJ issues I have relapsed big time, drinking 3 weeks straight:((
I checked myself into medical detox on Wednesday. As I am prescribed xanax daily, diazepam iv did nothing for me. The minute I got out of there, I purchased 2 bottles of wine, and have been drinking since then. The doctor there called me a drug addict and told me there's nothing she can do for me.
I am at loss:( desperate to get my life back:(

I don't understand your references to drugs, but if you are alcoholic, AA would seem to be the place to call. In the end, they were the only ones who could help me.

The reference to drugs was basically because I am already prescribed xanax, carbamazepine and haloperidol (haldol), which is what they give during medical detox (I asked). So there's nothing they can give me that I don't already take. Hence - drug addict. I will look into AA, but first I have to get sober:(

I would suggest looking into inpatient rehab. They can get you through the detox and give you the treatment it sounds like you really need.

I'm sorry you're in this position Ugnius.

As a fellow TMJ sufferer I feel for you too, but as you know alcohol just doesn't help.

I'd go for meetings now - don't wait - you won't be the first person to show up worse for wear...the support and advice you find there may just get you sober - then you can work on the other stuff.

D

I am just so worried that inpatient rehab is not gonna work for me:( they gave me medicine and it did nothing. I might just as well detox at home with what I have, but then the cravings set in, I do the whole "hair of the dog" and the cycle continues:( I'm at loss!

Yesterday came clean to my husband about my drinking. His response - just dont drink. If only it was just so easy.....

In a way, it is.

I don't mean to sound flip, but no one is putting the substance in your body but you.

But if you want a better life, that's what it takes. Don't buy it, don't pour it, don't put it up to your lips, don't swallow.

You have a choice. The path you are on, or a healthy, better life.

Read around, keep posting, DECIDE to not go back to the drinking life.

I will look into AA, but first I have to get sober

That's like saying, I'm going to go on a diet, but first I have to lose weight.

I'm sorry for your situation. It sounds like it will get worse before it gets better, but have faith that you can do this. We are here for you.

I'm not sure I can walk into AA drunk (which I am all the time now:( ).
Yesterday I had an honest converasation with my brother about my drinking (he had noticed, what a surprise), he really encouraged me, but also told me it's not that big of a deal - it is! It is ruining my life. I just feel so helpless, and as you've said - I'm doing this to myself.

Yesterday my brother checked me into a 24hour medical detox. They give diazepam, but still feel very shaky and weak.

I hoped it was supposed to be easier:(

I don't think detox is ever easy, but supervised is way better than not..
It's a little short term pain for long term gain Ugnius - you'll be ok :)

Have a look at the days and times and pick a meeting as early in the day as possible. Alternatively give the hotline number a call and explain your predicament and they may be able to send a couple of people round to you for a chat initially.

I know plenty of people who first came to AA having had enough to drink to steady their hands etc. Not drunk as such, but had had a drink.

Listening to the experience strength and hope you will find in the rooms of AA might help you to stay sober an hour, and a day at a time. It has for thousands and thousands of others.

Why do you want to stop drinking? Perhaps write yourself a list that you can keep referring to throughout the day, and add to it as things occur to you as well. You could include how it affects your finances, your relationships, work, home life, health. Thing is, when the addictive voice starts kicking in and rationalizing (i.e. making excuses) for taking that first drink we tend to forget ALL those reasons we want / need to stop. Reading that list before you take a sip might make you less succeptable to the AVs lies.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

I'm still drinking:( even after detox. I don't know how to stop...

There's been some really good suggestions in this thread Ugnius.

What do you think is holding you back?

D

I guess it's anxiety and fear of detox:(
This morning I woke up with a thought of "never again" and walked right up to my vodka stash. I am really fearful of detox at this point.

Listen,

I think there are couple of things you can do to get over this.

It is evident that your alcoholism is getting worse and you are highly dependant now. So, even if it might be redundant, go to detox again. As a matter of fact you should go to ER, because mixing those medicines with alcohol it's highly dangerous.

Do it for you and do it now. After you get out, go and intern yourself into a complete rehab program and institution. It might take a while, but you will get a life time.

I wish you all the best and remember, this is a disease, it is not your fault. I'm sure you are a wonderful person, give yourself the opportunity.

You won't know until you try. And you're not alone, no alcoholic ever thinks rehab is a good idea.

I didn't wake up one morning and say "ya know what sounds great? Rehab!"

I went with my tail between my legs, thought I was too smart for it, thought it wouldn't work, etc. And - shocker - it actually worked because I payed attention and tried my best for a change.

Look into rehab, then after you're done with your stint you can tell us it doesn't work. Seems like there's something holding you back from getting started. Maybe it's all the xanax (a highly addictive benzo) and alcohol you are taking. When those drugs get into your system they will pull you deep into addiction, and you'll come up with a zillion excuses not go to inpatient (work, social factors, atheism, education, time, money, etc). I rattled all the excuses off too, and they sounded pretty legit to me once I repeated them all a dozen times.

Thing is, this disease won't just get better on its own. It's not gonna happen. The sooner you go to rehab, the sooner this nightmare is over. The longer you wait, the longer it's gonna take to get through the tunnel.

I waited 25 years for a lightning bolt from heaven to hit me and miracle my a$$ sober. It never happened. I had to put in some effort and endure some discomfort.

Stop making excuses and start making a plan.

You can do this. :ring