What do I do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
What do I do?
Hi all. I'm aged 27 from the UK and I decided to try and seek some advice online. I have one question that constantly burns in my mind.
What do I do without drink?
I genuinely do not feel like I can get enjoyment out of anything without drink. I drinks 13-20 cans of lager a day (20 being my top end) and I genuinely don't know how to stop. When I have tried to stop or cut down, I shake, sweat, and get heart palpitations. Every day I wake up I am drinking within 2-3 hours.
I've tried to ''taper'' off, but I've been scared of alcohol withdrawal that I have experienced.
I don't know what do.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
What do I do without drink?
I genuinely do not feel like I can get enjoyment out of anything without drink. I drinks 13-20 cans of lager a day (20 being my top end) and I genuinely don't know how to stop. When I have tried to stop or cut down, I shake, sweat, and get heart palpitations. Every day I wake up I am drinking within 2-3 hours.
I've tried to ''taper'' off, but I've been scared of alcohol withdrawal that I have experienced.
I don't know what do.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
I remember wondering the very same thing... Turns out I could do WAY more by not drinking. The enjoyable part will come eventually. I didn't think it was possible to do anything without a buzz from booze, but you can. Our brains are mashed thinking this way due to alcohol. Once you get some clarity and a clear mind, you will be good.
I suggest you go see your Doc about stopping, he or she will be able to help you detox safely.
Post here often and read around. Lots of support and people that share your experiences.
I suggest you go see your Doc about stopping, he or she will be able to help you detox safely.
Post here often and read around. Lots of support and people that share your experiences.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Welcome to SR! Glad you made it here.. Taking the first step is always the scariest. I think talking to a doctor and/or addictions counselor should be a priority, detoxing can be dangerous and it is definitely not fun.
Poppy's is right, once you get some time to let the fog clear and give yourself some recovery time you will find there is a lot more to life than chasing the neverending buzz.
You have to be wholeheartedly committed but if you give yourself the chance you will find it's- and you, are worth it
we're all here to support you.
Poppy's is right, once you get some time to let the fog clear and give yourself some recovery time you will find there is a lot more to life than chasing the neverending buzz.
You have to be wholeheartedly committed but if you give yourself the chance you will find it's- and you, are worth it
we're all here to support you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
hi and welcome limitedpoker
I had no idea what my life would be like either...but my life drinking was no longer viable....anything would be better...and it was
10 years on I'm happy, I love who I am, and I have the kind of life that I always wanted.
Stopping drinking was the first step towards that.
I've never regretted it.
Read around post as much as you like - see what others are doing to stay sober.
You'll find a ton of support here
D
I had no idea what my life would be like either...but my life drinking was no longer viable....anything would be better...and it was
10 years on I'm happy, I love who I am, and I have the kind of life that I always wanted.
Stopping drinking was the first step towards that.
I've never regretted it.
Read around post as much as you like - see what others are doing to stay sober.
You'll find a ton of support here
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
Wow thanks for all the kind replies. One thing (and this may sound stupid) but one thing that really scares me is cutting down to fast etc, and can I just die? If that makes sense. How does detoxing work? I've tried the tapering thing but when I do get to the 6 a day mark or whatever I just think, oh one more wont hurt, then next thing you know I'm back to 10 a day, then 15.
Is stopping and having a seizure/dying more to do with spirits? I don't drink spirits only on the odd occasion. At the moment I just drink lager.
Fosters, Carling, Budweiser
Thanks for your kind replies everyone
Is stopping and having a seizure/dying more to do with spirits? I don't drink spirits only on the odd occasion. At the moment I just drink lager.
Fosters, Carling, Budweiser
Thanks for your kind replies everyone
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
No, having seizures and detoxing is not just about alcohol. Beer and wine are alcohol, too. The best thing is to tell your dr the symptoms you experience when you try to stop drinking. If he suggests tapering, you could tell him you've tried it and it doesn't work for you. Tapering rarely works for alcoholics. And, yes, withdrawal is unpredictable. Also, keep in mind that you could always go to ER if you were worried about your symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Albany, NY
Posts: 75
I wouldn't recommend detoxing on your own. It's best to do in detox at hospital. You can die from detox.
I'm 19 months into sobriety and I feel my brain healing every day. I too, would never choose to live a life any other way.
I felt the same way that you did every time I was early in sobriety. But I am living a conscious life now and there is nothing better than connecting with people and life on a sober level.
Don't give up. It is so worth it.
I'm 19 months into sobriety and I feel my brain healing every day. I too, would never choose to live a life any other way.
I felt the same way that you did every time I was early in sobriety. But I am living a conscious life now and there is nothing better than connecting with people and life on a sober level.
Don't give up. It is so worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 11
Hi limited poker
I'm only 14 days in myself, and I've only ever tried a half baked attempt for a month once before. I am very far from qualified to pass ANY words of wisdom :-). What I can do though is say I had the same concerns as you re "what to do" and also tell you how it's panned so far in this very very short time at me trying to knock it on the head.
I was a daily beer person. I remember being quite worried about what to do after, as it had become my life. For me, "what to do" became giving up drinking in these early days. As its quite the challenge. It's been unpleasant but in a weird way it's been like a positive challenge and as each day goes on you feel a little tiny victory, sometimes the discomfort is in a weird way enjoyable for that reason. It reminds you you're powering through change, I couldn't think straight when on the beer so it all seemed a mess. What I've found is now merely two weeks in, I'm still giving the challenge of giving up my all, but I'm having more clarity with what I want to do, knew ideas are coming of things I always said I'd do. I'm wary not to stride into the inevitable "pink cloud" by over doing it, but I'm certainly looking to make small changes, I've just joined a gym and I'm exploring getting into making short films as a hobby. Something I always said I'd do, but when on the beer was never going to happen.
So for me, the immediate new hobby became embracing the challenge of knocking the boozing on the head and making trying with all my might to see the temporary discomfort as a good thing, and then when my head starts clearing to get on with some changes inwardly and outwardly. The inward bit for me will be the biggest task.
Can't advise re detox. Sounds like doctors stuff to me.
I'm only 14 days in myself, and I've only ever tried a half baked attempt for a month once before. I am very far from qualified to pass ANY words of wisdom :-). What I can do though is say I had the same concerns as you re "what to do" and also tell you how it's panned so far in this very very short time at me trying to knock it on the head.
I was a daily beer person. I remember being quite worried about what to do after, as it had become my life. For me, "what to do" became giving up drinking in these early days. As its quite the challenge. It's been unpleasant but in a weird way it's been like a positive challenge and as each day goes on you feel a little tiny victory, sometimes the discomfort is in a weird way enjoyable for that reason. It reminds you you're powering through change, I couldn't think straight when on the beer so it all seemed a mess. What I've found is now merely two weeks in, I'm still giving the challenge of giving up my all, but I'm having more clarity with what I want to do, knew ideas are coming of things I always said I'd do. I'm wary not to stride into the inevitable "pink cloud" by over doing it, but I'm certainly looking to make small changes, I've just joined a gym and I'm exploring getting into making short films as a hobby. Something I always said I'd do, but when on the beer was never going to happen.
So for me, the immediate new hobby became embracing the challenge of knocking the boozing on the head and making trying with all my might to see the temporary discomfort as a good thing, and then when my head starts clearing to get on with some changes inwardly and outwardly. The inward bit for me will be the biggest task.
Can't advise re detox. Sounds like doctors stuff to me.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you posted!
A few thoughts/comments....
I am possibly in the minority, but as I have shared many times around here, I quit cold turkey. From about a handle (largest US size) of vodka every day and a half or so. Probably other drinks around that. I was some degree of drunk all the time. Did it suck? Yeah. Would I do it that way again? Yes, because I was done and any thought of tapering or giving myself a deadline to quit was just plain foolish. I did see my psych and GP and liver dr to get ALL tests done. I went through immediate withdrawal and pretty severe PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptom, which is not an officially dx condition but a cluster of things many of us experience for some amount of time after quitting- good to google, along with "kindling" - which is the worsening of the withdrawal each time we do it, essentially)....
Like Anna said, all alcohol is alcohol. And the quantity we drink doesn't really matter/connect o what our detox experience is like. Seeing a dr is the best way - I know in the UK lots of folks report dr advice to taper, which is not as common in the US (and frankly, baffles me because we are addicts, so keeping substance in our bodies prolongs the true goal- abstinence- and our alcoholic minds will go to ANY lengths to keep us drinking)....
For me, the unknown side effects of quitting and the life that would come after were less risky than a certain death by drinking.
You can quit. I hope to see you around, however you choose your path to sobriety.
A few thoughts/comments....
I am possibly in the minority, but as I have shared many times around here, I quit cold turkey. From about a handle (largest US size) of vodka every day and a half or so. Probably other drinks around that. I was some degree of drunk all the time. Did it suck? Yeah. Would I do it that way again? Yes, because I was done and any thought of tapering or giving myself a deadline to quit was just plain foolish. I did see my psych and GP and liver dr to get ALL tests done. I went through immediate withdrawal and pretty severe PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptom, which is not an officially dx condition but a cluster of things many of us experience for some amount of time after quitting- good to google, along with "kindling" - which is the worsening of the withdrawal each time we do it, essentially)....
Like Anna said, all alcohol is alcohol. And the quantity we drink doesn't really matter/connect o what our detox experience is like. Seeing a dr is the best way - I know in the UK lots of folks report dr advice to taper, which is not as common in the US (and frankly, baffles me because we are addicts, so keeping substance in our bodies prolongs the true goal- abstinence- and our alcoholic minds will go to ANY lengths to keep us drinking)....
For me, the unknown side effects of quitting and the life that would come after were less risky than a certain death by drinking.
You can quit. I hope to see you around, however you choose your path to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
hi and welcome. ive always wondered hows its possible for alcoholics to taper off, as at least for me, if I had a sip of booze, I had to continue until I passed out or I physically could not get my hands on any more. Regulation wasn't exactly my strong point!! I'm sure with speaking to someone professional and explaining your situation, they may find an alternative way for you to tackle getting the alcohol out of your system safely.
As in what to do? Well, this does seem a tough one when considering giving up, but its amazing how more productive you feel once its gone from your system. I'm only on day 12. I have absolutely no wiser words than anyone here. But for me, ive spent the last 12 days making plans to finish all the things that were half done around my house. The things that got put off because I was too hungover, or I ended up drinking instead, or ran out of money, or no motivation, you know the drill. In these last 10 days (had 2 days of complete self pity and self loathing), ive got more done around the house decorating wise than I have in the last year.
Its not for everyone, but it helps me to have a focus and goal. Each day I write down a manageable list of what I want to achieve, this is even down to basics including meals sat and eaten (as didn't often before), putting rubbish out, tidying a drawer out etc etc and as I get through the day I tick them off, which helps me mentally feel good about my dayto see what ive accomplished. I know decorating and home stuff is not for everyone, this is just my thing as I'm a real homebody, and I am loving seeing my efforts pay off infront of me. It leaves me comfortably exhausted at the end of the day. The hardest bit is to change the habit of then rewarding myself with wine!!! So instead I buy a junky food that I really enjoy whether its chocolate, cake, crisps, icecream etc and have that in the evening, as a treat.
when you open up your day to knew possibilities other than being hammered on your sofa, you can find out the thing you love to do. Then invest your time in that, until the rest starts to fall into place. There will be things you forgot you love to do, you will rediscover so much, small steps. Day by day you will remember 'you' again, and that you matter and you have a life to fill with wonderful things.
wish you all the luck in the world
P.S I'm in the UK too, I get it, everything here is intertwined with drinking. We Brits drink for all occasions, or for none at all. Its wherever we go almost, its a sunday down the pub for a roast, a birthday, funeral, baby born, even kids birthday parties for goodness sake (when i lived in Canada they did not understand this one at all)!! Go for a walk, stop at the pub on the way home etc etc. I agree, it does seem everything involves drinking here, there is a pub less than a mile almost from any house anywhere, its almost embedded in our culture. i totally get where you are coming from!!
As in what to do? Well, this does seem a tough one when considering giving up, but its amazing how more productive you feel once its gone from your system. I'm only on day 12. I have absolutely no wiser words than anyone here. But for me, ive spent the last 12 days making plans to finish all the things that were half done around my house. The things that got put off because I was too hungover, or I ended up drinking instead, or ran out of money, or no motivation, you know the drill. In these last 10 days (had 2 days of complete self pity and self loathing), ive got more done around the house decorating wise than I have in the last year.
Its not for everyone, but it helps me to have a focus and goal. Each day I write down a manageable list of what I want to achieve, this is even down to basics including meals sat and eaten (as didn't often before), putting rubbish out, tidying a drawer out etc etc and as I get through the day I tick them off, which helps me mentally feel good about my dayto see what ive accomplished. I know decorating and home stuff is not for everyone, this is just my thing as I'm a real homebody, and I am loving seeing my efforts pay off infront of me. It leaves me comfortably exhausted at the end of the day. The hardest bit is to change the habit of then rewarding myself with wine!!! So instead I buy a junky food that I really enjoy whether its chocolate, cake, crisps, icecream etc and have that in the evening, as a treat.
when you open up your day to knew possibilities other than being hammered on your sofa, you can find out the thing you love to do. Then invest your time in that, until the rest starts to fall into place. There will be things you forgot you love to do, you will rediscover so much, small steps. Day by day you will remember 'you' again, and that you matter and you have a life to fill with wonderful things.
wish you all the luck in the world
P.S I'm in the UK too, I get it, everything here is intertwined with drinking. We Brits drink for all occasions, or for none at all. Its wherever we go almost, its a sunday down the pub for a roast, a birthday, funeral, baby born, even kids birthday parties for goodness sake (when i lived in Canada they did not understand this one at all)!! Go for a walk, stop at the pub on the way home etc etc. I agree, it does seem everything involves drinking here, there is a pub less than a mile almost from any house anywhere, its almost embedded in our culture. i totally get where you are coming from!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Originally Posted by limitedpoker 
I've tried the tapering thing but when I do get to the 6 a day mark or whatever I just think, oh one more wont hurt, then next thing you know I'm back to 10 a day, then 15.
Is stopping and having a seizure/dying more to do with spirits? I don't drink spirits only on the odd occasion. At the moment I just drink lager.
Is stopping and having a seizure/dying more to do with spirits? I don't drink spirits only on the odd occasion. At the moment I just drink lager.
My results with tapering off went just about like yours.
Proper medical advice from a professional well versed on the subject of withdrawal can lessen the possibilities of a seizure, but still no guaranties. Round the clock supervision when detoxing is the safest bet.
Because my seizure wasn't the end of my drinking experience, no I still returned to drinking (talk about insanity), I learned a lot more about the prevention of seizures (more insanity), rather than learn how to get and stay sober, I learned how to lessen the possibility of a seizure (if that isn't insanity, I don't know what is).
My problem wasn't alcohol. My problem was me. My problems just manifested themselves through my use alcohol.
There was hope and a solution for my problems though. I have now been sober for 14 years, and I am continuing to work on me. I wouldn't trade my recovery for anything. It has exceeded my wildest imagination and everyday I get more and more comfortable just being me. :~)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
Thank you everyone for all your kind words and solid advice, it's honestly better than anything I've been told before.
P.S I'm in the UK too, I get it, everything here is intertwined with drinking. We Brits drink for all occasions, or for none at all. Its wherever we go almost, its a sunday down the pub for a roast, a birthday, funeral, baby born, even kids birthday parties for goodness sake (when i lived in Canada they did not understand this one at all)!! Go for a walk, stop at the pub on the way home etc etc. I agree, it does seem everything involves drinking here, there is a pub less than a mile almost from any house anywhere, its almost embedded in our culture. i totally get where you are coming from!! @NoTurningBack
Yep, this is a big thing to. I am in no way blaming my environment for what I'm currently doing. I know why I drink, the number 1 reason, is I really just love it. That's me being totally totally honest. Do I like what it's doing to my health? No Do I like how it's affecting my work? No, I don't. I drink to feel a sense of equilibrium. I get panic attacks and have bouts of depression and when I'm drinking I feel none of that for a good few hours, and to me that is absolute bliss. Drink has became my best friend over these past couple of years. I drink when I'm sad, happy, angry, depressed you name it.
Going back to what you said though, it really is true. No one I know labels me as a problem drinker. I'm just labelled as someone who can handle their beer, as when I'm out I'll have drank 8 cans before I've left the house and can easily drink 12 pints and still be coherent enough to arrange the taxis and get everyone back safe. That's the culture we have here which most people outside of this place don't really understand.
What scares me the most is not having that ''best friend'' I can turn to when I start having panic attacks, or my mind starts creating situations that are irrational and make me sweat and cry. I've been told by the doctors to get on pills for depression and anxiety but I refuse to replace one ****** substance with another. I've seen what the prescription drugs do to my close family and I don't want to go down that road.
Thanks again everyone, I'm not really sure where to go from here if I'm totally honest. A big part of me knows I need to stop this cycle, and the other part of me genuinely thinks, what's the point?
I hope I don't come across as doom and gloom, I am just trying my best here to be honest with you and myself as I've never actually been honest with myself about what I'm doing until now.
Originally Posted by noturningback2
P.S I'm in the UK too, I get it, everything here is intertwined with drinking. We Brits drink for all occasions, or for none at all. Its wherever we go almost, its a sunday down the pub for a roast, a birthday, funeral, baby born, even kids birthday parties for goodness sake (when i lived in Canada they did not understand this one at all)!! Go for a walk, stop at the pub on the way home etc etc. I agree, it does seem everything involves drinking here, there is a pub less than a mile almost from any house anywhere, its almost embedded in our culture. i totally get where you are coming from!!
Yep, this is a big thing to. I am in no way blaming my environment for what I'm currently doing. I know why I drink, the number 1 reason, is I really just love it. That's me being totally totally honest. Do I like what it's doing to my health? No Do I like how it's affecting my work? No, I don't. I drink to feel a sense of equilibrium. I get panic attacks and have bouts of depression and when I'm drinking I feel none of that for a good few hours, and to me that is absolute bliss. Drink has became my best friend over these past couple of years. I drink when I'm sad, happy, angry, depressed you name it.
Going back to what you said though, it really is true. No one I know labels me as a problem drinker. I'm just labelled as someone who can handle their beer, as when I'm out I'll have drank 8 cans before I've left the house and can easily drink 12 pints and still be coherent enough to arrange the taxis and get everyone back safe. That's the culture we have here which most people outside of this place don't really understand.
What scares me the most is not having that ''best friend'' I can turn to when I start having panic attacks, or my mind starts creating situations that are irrational and make me sweat and cry. I've been told by the doctors to get on pills for depression and anxiety but I refuse to replace one ****** substance with another. I've seen what the prescription drugs do to my close family and I don't want to go down that road.
Thanks again everyone, I'm not really sure where to go from here if I'm totally honest. A big part of me knows I need to stop this cycle, and the other part of me genuinely thinks, what's the point?
I hope I don't come across as doom and gloom, I am just trying my best here to be honest with you and myself as I've never actually been honest with myself about what I'm doing until now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
I drank to feel good too. I loved it as well.
The trouble was I never knew when to stop.
I was willingly lying to myself about how great drinking was, while not acknowledging the growing wreckage piling up behind me - wreaking havoc not only in my life but also the lives of those I loved.
The relationship between the bottle and us changes too.
By the end of my drinking days I *hated* drinking but it had become necessary for functioning by then.
From this side of the fence I can assure you that anything you think you're getting from alcohol you can get sober, but better
will it take a little more effort and commitment than we'd like - sure - it's not an immediate gratification like alcohol - but the effort's worth it
D
The trouble was I never knew when to stop.
I was willingly lying to myself about how great drinking was, while not acknowledging the growing wreckage piling up behind me - wreaking havoc not only in my life but also the lives of those I loved.
The relationship between the bottle and us changes too.
By the end of my drinking days I *hated* drinking but it had become necessary for functioning by then.
From this side of the fence I can assure you that anything you think you're getting from alcohol you can get sober, but better
will it take a little more effort and commitment than we'd like - sure - it's not an immediate gratification like alcohol - but the effort's worth it
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
I agree, its not something that you can blame it on. But I do find compared to others in other countries and culture, we have such a large binge drinking culture, that makes escaping the pressures of it hard. Let alone nobody understands when you don't drink, and there is always someone that drinks more than you. A joke with my group of friends about the non drinker was ' never trust someone that doesn't drink'...how messed up is that really??! Handling your beer here is like a medal of honour, not looking at someone like they might have an issue with alcohol with that kind of tolerance. Having lived in a few different countries, I have noticied this immensely in the UK!
A lot of us have severe anxiety issues here on SR, myself included and its very isolating. It seems for many its a reason we drink, its gives us some confidence and allows us to overcome the anxiety and be comfortable TEMPORARILY. I do think this site will benefit you as there is always someone that can relate. I found having CBT really helped with my anxiety and depression,and irrational thoughts, rather than medication, would that be an option to you??
Like you I enjoyed drinking, until I didn't anymore. Until it started to ruin everything, I didn't care about my health, but I was losing my family and friends slowly but surely. I couldn't go back to certain places because I got so drunk and embarrassed myself that I was too mortified to ever go back in there. Once your world becomes even smaller, its not fun anymore. You don't love to drink, you love the numbing effect of it, and that's different! And that means there is a hope of change, when you address the feelings that are so uncomfortable for you when you are sober. A long road my friend, but we are all here to support you!
A lot of us have severe anxiety issues here on SR, myself included and its very isolating. It seems for many its a reason we drink, its gives us some confidence and allows us to overcome the anxiety and be comfortable TEMPORARILY. I do think this site will benefit you as there is always someone that can relate. I found having CBT really helped with my anxiety and depression,and irrational thoughts, rather than medication, would that be an option to you??
Like you I enjoyed drinking, until I didn't anymore. Until it started to ruin everything, I didn't care about my health, but I was losing my family and friends slowly but surely. I couldn't go back to certain places because I got so drunk and embarrassed myself that I was too mortified to ever go back in there. Once your world becomes even smaller, its not fun anymore. You don't love to drink, you love the numbing effect of it, and that's different! And that means there is a hope of change, when you address the feelings that are so uncomfortable for you when you are sober. A long road my friend, but we are all here to support you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
