herculana

I've been posting more lately in my womens only sobriety group....

If you dont see me for a few days, its very possibly because I am more focused in that group for the time being.


I have a wedding to attend today, and the reception.

Not looking forward to it right now. Social anxiety, meeting my boyfriends family, etc. And of course, there will be alcohol.

I am feeling deeply sad and depressed about going. Not to mention that there will also be a lot of driving (not me, but my boyfriend will be driving) and I have acute anxiety lately in cars.

I tried to get out of going but BF really wants me there, and theyve created space at dinner for me.

UGGHH.

Please say a little prayer for me today.

Maudcat

Yah. Weddings in early sobriety.
Not fun.
Deep breaths. Escape outside when you need to. Leave as soon as you can.
Pat yourself on the back for having survived the day.

tealily

Herculana,

I'm sorry you're stressing about going to the wedding. I get that those kind of occasions can be fraught! Maybe try to turn your thinking around about it?

Your boyfriend seems like such a good guy, and he's probably excited to be able to show you off to his family. It's really a wonderful thing. Instead of being home alone on a Saturday, you have an event to share with him. You'll be able to do it clearheaded. I know it may be stressful to meet all these people but just take it a person at a time and you'll do great!

Hugs. Have fun!!

ReadyAtLast

I would usually say avoid social occasions although understand your position. does your bf know how you feel about being around alcohol. Can you maybe go to the service and show your face at the reception then disappear? Have a plan and an escape route.

january161992

my sponsor would have never allowed me to attend a drinking/ social event when i was new

in his rough voice he would say things like ....

if you're hangin' around booze, you ain't serious 'bout stayin' sober !!!

if you go to a McDonalds, you're gonna have a hamburger !

not my opinion just my experience

Poppy79

I totally get the anxiety, I am IN a wedding next weekend as a bridesmaid and it's doing my head in. Had the hens Night last weekend and while I didn't slip then, I did 2 days after. I had 270 days sober
Good news is I had a lapse and not a relapse. Back on the horse and determined to get through it.
My suggestion is to leave if and when you feel the need to. I didn't! I felt pressured to stay and watch people drink and I regret putting a flipping hens night before my sobriety. That will not happen at the wedding and I don't care if I am in the bridal party.
Good luck and stay strong. The alternative isn't worth it xx

tealily

How did the wedding go, Herculana?

herculana

Well, I did in fact drink tonight.

Not happy or proud, but I did not get drunk.

I had two shots of whiskey before getting back into a car (we had to drive an hour, then get out, dress, then get back in a car for 30 minutes to get to wedding)... My anxiety was just about through the roof after the one hour car ride, so I DID actually make the decision to drink. No excuses. It was my decision... as the only possible way out of feeling so anxious.

At the wedding I had one glass of wine and nursed it. Did not finish it.

So... Its not a win, but whatever.

I dont really love coming here and saying all of this out loud.

But the truth is I actually want to be able to go to weddings in the future and NOT drink. I want to be able to do things in my life without ever having to turn to alcohol to obliterate my anxiety.

I am home now, and I have a slight headache.

ReadyAtLast

Hi Herculana,
Sorry to hear that. I hope you can make today your day 1 and start again. I know for me avoiding social occasions in early sobriety is a must. It is ok to say no. One of the things I learned when I got sober last time was it is ok to put me and my wishes first. We matter and what we need matters.

Onwards and upwards

DarkDays

Done a few weddings in my five years sober so far . Do not worry about the event until the minute you get there.
Relax , it's very cool being sober when all around you are red faced and slurring .
I always find watching people drinking and talking when under the influence recharges my sober batteries , I always come away from any type of event where drink plays a big influence saying to my Mrs " thank god I do not have to do that **** anymore "
Years ago it was rock n roll to get drunk and do other drugs , now it's rock n roll to be stone cold sober , drinking is old hat , just a cycle of rinse and repeat bs.