ReadyAtLast

Hello,

I quit for 3.5 years then started again. when I was sober I was so happy and stable, despite going through a breakup, divorce, career change, house move - all the major stuff. Despite all the good stuff I picked up again last year and it's been a slow deterioration since tbh. on and off, more off than on, then more on than off. I've been on here a few times since then, joined a few classes but just couldn't stick to it. I just wanted a drink.

I met my now husband when sober and he has seen me sober and then occasionally drinking then more recently, more heavy drinking. We got married last moth and I've recently had a serious wake up call - nothing specifically bad happened (YET) but I have suddenly realised how much I have to lose and lose it I will if I do not stop drinking.

I do not want to be this person anymore. I don't want to drink, feel ill, feel anxious. I want to get back to my sober life again. So I'm back, reading, posting and keeping in touch. Thank you .

Mummyto2

Well done, keep at it

PippoRossi

Hey, Ready. Been there, done that. I had 4 ears and 2 months sober until last November when I decided I was "cured" and could have a drink. Boy, was I wrong! Glad to have you back.

loulou1981

Welcome back, im back here too after believing i could drink moderately...no chance! Keep posting!

lookinforward

Ready...as Pippi...I have went down the same path...years of sobriety then...I can handle this...Boy was I wrong....2 years later I was worse than ever...I am happy you are back and see what you want...Sobriety...Good thing you are doing a self check before heading too far down that dark path...stay strong and yes...it is just as hard as the first time you quit...but better in a way. I am not just scared,I have more tools in my arsenal and as always SB. Keep posting and reading...I find myself reading others posts more than my first visit here...I really draw from everyones experiences and victories, but it also reminds myself of the pain that being an active alcoholic brings. Welcome back! D

PhoenixJ

Welcome

ReadyAtLast

Hi Pippo. It's crazy isn't it. why on earth did I pick up after so long? Anyway what's done is done, obviously I need to learn from it but I need to concentrate on now and going forward rather than beat myself up about what I did.

ReadyAtLast

Hi Lou,
Welcome back to you too. We can do this

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Lookinforward. I know what you mean - it seems harder as the little voice says "oh you couldn't stick at it so why bother again?" and on and on it goes. I need to go back to the beginning and as you say get more tools. welcome back to you too.

ReadyAtLast

Thank you

ReadyAtLast

Thank you

CreativeThinker

Glad you made it back. Most of us have been where you are. You know how to do it, get to it and get back to where you were feeling great!

PippoRossi

I know why I picked up: I let myself get bored and got complacent with my sobriety. I have vowed not to let it happen this time around, no siree!!!

Jeni26

Hi my friend, good to 'see' you again.

As you know I was in the same position...years of sobriety, then I drank again. It's pretty hellish...so much harder to stay sober after every time we pick up.

But honestly...it is possible. I'm very nearly 18 months sober again.

Do something different in recovery this time. I went away on a 12 step retreat, and it kick started something for me.

Don't give up trying...life is so much better sober...I love the new improved version of me. I don't carry any guilt or anxiety surrounding my drinking any more.

It really is freedom.

Am here for you. I know you're in the UK. If you want to swap mobile numbers send me a PM.

Go for it I know you can do it xx

MidnightBlue

Glad to see you back, ReadyAtLast!

kenton

Hi Readyatlast, welcome back.

It's so powerful to read your words and the words of Pippo, lookinforward and Jeni. Such powerful reminders to all of us that it doesn't matter how many years you get under your belt, alcohol will always be there... waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you every success in this journey. I know it gets harder each time but all your years of sobriety will have given you the strength to do this again. Before you know it, you will have all your sober time back and you will have inspired and helped countless others in the process. Thank you

ReadyAtLast

Hi Jeni, thank you so much for your message and kind words. I know you understand, having been exactly here. It seemed harder each time but I knew even though I kept coming back to SR I wasn't truly ready - I am now at the point where I want to be continually sober more than I want to drink which is where I need to be.

I will pm you, thank you. Many congrats on your 18 months too xx

ReadyAtLast

Thank you. Whilst I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it does help to know people here completely understand.

ReadyAtLast

I was the same. Plus I just wanted to see how it felt. then the door was open and it crept in bit by bit. Whilst the physical craving is bad it is the mental obsession which is worse. Shall I drink tonight, what shall I drink, what time shall I start, how much shall I have, how will I feel tomorrow and on and on it goes.

Not to mention the amounts of money I have spent and other areas of my life I've neglected. It helps to write it down, put it in perspective.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks MB Great to see you too. Hope things are going well for you.xx