Day Seven and feeling a little mad...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South Australia
Posts: 18
Day Seven and feeling a little mad...
So I've made it to day seven which I'm stoked about!!
However a conversation with an old friend of mine has really rattled my resolve. He drinks (a lot) however, he said he was thinking of stopping because he had put on some weight. He said he'll lose the weight then probably go back to drinking. Which I guess is his business.
What irritated me, was that I suggested this web page for support, and I mentioned that I don't intend to drink ever again. His response? 'Wow, I didn't know you were THAT bad'
Seriously, not helpful. What is it that drinkers find so confronting about non drinkers? I dunno....
Thanks everyone...just had to vent!!
Hope you are all well!!
However a conversation with an old friend of mine has really rattled my resolve. He drinks (a lot) however, he said he was thinking of stopping because he had put on some weight. He said he'll lose the weight then probably go back to drinking. Which I guess is his business.
What irritated me, was that I suggested this web page for support, and I mentioned that I don't intend to drink ever again. His response? 'Wow, I didn't know you were THAT bad'
Seriously, not helpful. What is it that drinkers find so confronting about non drinkers? I dunno....
Thanks everyone...just had to vent!!
Hope you are all well!!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great job on deciding to get sober.
To answer your main question- I believe that the people who react "strongly" or "badly" so to speak likely have a problem themselves, or otherwise have dealt with alcoholism/addiction in their own lives (ie a parent or such). That's not my "side of the street" to worry about- my own decision for sobriety is.
I choose the people I spend time with very carefully. I don't spend time with anyone, alcoholic or not, who isn't trying to live their best lives possible. Their "how" and "what" are their business, since we all have different issues, but mutual respect and support for our life decisions is critical.
Keep going on your sober path!
To answer your main question- I believe that the people who react "strongly" or "badly" so to speak likely have a problem themselves, or otherwise have dealt with alcoholism/addiction in their own lives (ie a parent or such). That's not my "side of the street" to worry about- my own decision for sobriety is.
I choose the people I spend time with very carefully. I don't spend time with anyone, alcoholic or not, who isn't trying to live their best lives possible. Their "how" and "what" are their business, since we all have different issues, but mutual respect and support for our life decisions is critical.
Keep going on your sober path!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
What August said!
People don't like to be introspective on command. If they aren't a alcoholic themselves they are at the very least rude and don't think much before speaking.
I wouldn't worry much, although it wasn't a nice thing to say, you can now look at it as you were *THAT* bad and now you are *SOOOOO* good. You're done great!
Jules
People don't like to be introspective on command. If they aren't a alcoholic themselves they are at the very least rude and don't think much before speaking.
I wouldn't worry much, although it wasn't a nice thing to say, you can now look at it as you were *THAT* bad and now you are *SOOOOO* good. You're done great!
Jules
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
First a week is awesome! Especially the first week. Second your AV would love to use comments like that to reinforce the thoughts that are likely bouncing around in your head. I can control this, I'm not as bad as him, I'll just have one. All the lies that will put you back to day 1. Read some day 1 posts and remember that regret!! I hate the shame and absolute anger I felt st myself on day 1. As to your friend, she is likely waking up feeling like crap right now. Give her a call in the early morning and see how that hangover is going, when you feel great. See if she remembers what happened last night.
Your resolve has to be yours. Im not drinking, not even one, not ever again. Why?? Because it steals what I love most, my self respect, my kids love, feeling healthy.....I could go on and on. Stay strong, your friend will eventually wonder how you escaped and wish she had escaped earlier too.
Your resolve has to be yours. Im not drinking, not even one, not ever again. Why?? Because it steals what I love most, my self respect, my kids love, feeling healthy.....I could go on and on. Stay strong, your friend will eventually wonder how you escaped and wish she had escaped earlier too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South Australia
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by SimplyFree 
First a week is awesome! Especially the first week. Second your AV would love to use comments like that to reinforce the thoughts that are likely bouncing around in your head. I can control this, I'm not as bad as him, I'll just have one. All the lies that will put you back to day 1. Read some day 1 posts and remember that regret!! I hate the shame and absolute anger I felt st myself on day 1. As to your friend, she is likely waking up feeling like crap right now. Give her a call in the early morning and see how that hangover is going, when you feel great. See if she remembers what happened last night.
Your resolve has to be yours. Im not drinking, not even one, not ever again. Why?? Because it steals what I love most, my self respect, my kids love, feeling healthy.....I could go on and on. Stay strong, your friend will eventually wonder how you escaped and wish she had escaped earlier too.
Your resolve has to be yours. Im not drinking, not even one, not ever again. Why?? Because it steals what I love most, my self respect, my kids love, feeling healthy.....I could go on and on. Stay strong, your friend will eventually wonder how you escaped and wish she had escaped earlier too.
I did start wondering...hmmm maybe I'm all ok, maybe I CAN control this.
Erm no. I can't stop at one, it invades my thoughts constantly, and I refuse to go back to day one, because man....those first few days sucked!,
You know over this past week, I have eaten dinner with my children for the first time in I don't know when. I know it sounds small, but they have noticed, and I have noticed and that has kind of sealed the deal for me.
One foot in front of the other.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Good job getting to Day 7!!
I was so vulnerable and low when I stopped drinking, I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't have dealt with nasty comments.
Also, this is just my opinion, but if you suggest to friends to come here to SR, it might make you feel less able to share and reluctant to be open and honest.
I was so vulnerable and low when I stopped drinking, I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't have dealt with nasty comments.
Also, this is just my opinion, but if you suggest to friends to come here to SR, it might make you feel less able to share and reluctant to be open and honest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
People have misconceptions about alcoholics. I guess unless you are end stage, drinking the entire time you are awake, homeless or in a gutter mumbling to yourself than you're "fine". 🙄
There are so many so called "high functioning" alcoholics with really good jobs, nice things and pretty outsides who appear to "have it all" from a distance who are really freaking miserable. I know because that was me.
Be honest with yourself and be proud of your decision. It doesn't matter whether or not other people understand it. They don't have to live in your head and body.
There are so many so called "high functioning" alcoholics with really good jobs, nice things and pretty outsides who appear to "have it all" from a distance who are really freaking miserable. I know because that was me.
Be honest with yourself and be proud of your decision. It doesn't matter whether or not other people understand it. They don't have to live in your head and body.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Recent quotes from drinkers I know:
"Christ, how much were you drinking?"
"Don't know if I can trust someone who doesn't drink."
"RW doesn't want to hang out with us any more."
"Are you still not drinking? I'll buy you a birthday beer if you want."
It's like their edit function is compromised. Perhaps by a commonly-available substance of some sort ...
"Christ, how much were you drinking?"
"Don't know if I can trust someone who doesn't drink."
"RW doesn't want to hang out with us any more."
"Are you still not drinking? I'll buy you a birthday beer if you want."
It's like their edit function is compromised. Perhaps by a commonly-available substance of some sort ...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South Australia
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by rascalwhiteoak
Recent quotes from drinkers I know:
"Christ, how much were you drinking?"
"Don't know if I can trust someone who doesn't drink."
"RW doesn't want to hang out with us any more."
"Are you still not drinking? I'll buy you a birthday beer if you want."
It's like their edit function is compromised. Perhaps by a commonly-available substance of some sort ...
"Christ, how much were you drinking?"
"Don't know if I can trust someone who doesn't drink."
"RW doesn't want to hang out with us any more."
"Are you still not drinking? I'll buy you a birthday beer if you want."
It's like their edit function is compromised. Perhaps by a commonly-available substance of some sort ...
What do they think we're going to do exactly?
A birthday beer?
Oh dear...people don't really get it. Although I'm in early days, I worry about how I will manage these social events. My entire family are big drinkers (**** pots imo), and it will be confronting for them when the topic comes up.But I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Thanks!!
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