Recent breakup from alcoholic boyfriend
 

I found this forum while doing an online search and it seems I am not alone. I found it very insightful and I would like to tell my story. I apologize in advance if it is long winded.

I recently ended a 9 month relationship with an alcoholic. We hit it off from the beginning. There was such a connection, we had tons in common and had a great time together. He was so sweet and caring and thoughtful. He was everything I ever wanted.

About 3 months into our relationship I started to realize he had a problem with alcohol. It was around Christmas time and he was visiting a friend. He called me completely trashed and asked me to pick him up. Before I could get my shoes on he was already in the car and driving. I told him to pull over and I would come and get him. Instead he continued driving. I told him I would not talk to him while he was driving but he kept calling. He started screaming at me that I didn't care about him, if I did I would have come to get him, I would have searched for him, and then he started saying the meanest nastiest things to me. Thankfully he made it home safe but I was left feeling scared, confused and hurt.

The next day he knew I was mad at him but didn't know why. I told him what happened and he apologized and said someone brought a bottle of Jack Daniels and that is why he got like that. He didn't mean anything he said and told me it would never happen again.

He continued to drink his normal drinks of choice and I started tracking it (about 6 months into our relationship). He would drink 3-4 times a week and wouldn't go for more that 3-4 days without drinking. I told him I couldn't handle it and he said he didn't want to lose me because of it so he would cut back. I didn't know anything about alcoholism so I agreed. Things steadily declined and he treated me worse and worse. He went from being everything I ever wanted to everything I never wanted.

One night we went to a game night at his friends house. We were having a great time, laughed till we cried and he was so lovable. He started getting sloppy and I needed to get home to take my animals out. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol and I was tired and disgusted. I found out he was not only drinking beer & shots of schnapps but also vodka. The night ended in a 3 hour nightmare. He manhandled me, screamed at me, kept trying to grab the wheel while I was driving, wouldn't let me leave his house, etc. I finally got out of there and promptly ended the relationship.

I still loved him so when he begged me to forgive him and promised to quit drinking I gave him another chance and then another and another. He never quit and would sneak and hide alcohol. I had to block him so he wouldn't harass me because that is what he does when he's drunk. Constant calls, texts and voicemails. He has sent me emails apologizing, admitting to having a problem and to making excuses so he didn't have to quit. He tells me he needs my help to get better and that he means it this time. It is heartbreaking when I see his car at the bar. I want to believe him. I know in my head I can't but my heart still has hope.

Stay safe, please.

Alcohol is a thief....for both the alcoholic and those around them.....hopefully he will choose sobriety soon, but who knows. He has to choose it and when. Quite honestly, move on. IMHO.

As hard as it may be, run & don't look back, unless he gets himself clean he will continue to lie to u. He will never be able to moderate his drinking (if thats what he is telling u) he would have to completely give it up. If he is putting his hands on u then that is just not acceptable. Walk away b4 u invest anymore time