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Will I Ruin Everything

Old 07-22-2017, 11:06 PM
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Will I Ruin Everything

My best friend is so happy atm with my 5 days of sobriety. Little do they know that inwardly I am really struggling, hanging out for a drink. I feel like my nerves are on raw edge. I'm afraid I will ruin Everything for them and end up picking up again. They have almost begged me not to drink again.

Gone are my muscle aches and stomach pains. Why am I even thinking about it. Is it just a ritual for me. Time to start praying to my hpower.
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Old 07-22-2017, 11:13 PM
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Where did you get to with the steps SC?
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Old 07-22-2017, 11:16 PM
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I'm not really doing the steps. Just praying myself for whatever comes to mind.
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Old 07-22-2017, 11:32 PM
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I thought I saw somewhere that you had tried AA. I guess you still have that up your sleeve if needed.

It is nice when people are happy for us. I had some friends like that. It made it so much worse when I let them down even when I had the best intentions.
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Old 07-23-2017, 04:30 AM
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Great job on your days. It feels good when you know people are happy for you. Just remember you are doing this to help yourself. Don't let what others think outweigh that. Best wishes to you.
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Old 07-23-2017, 04:30 AM
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Hi sweeti! 5 days is awesome!! Play it forward and think about waking up without a hangover and being on 6. Your AV will the loudest the first week or so. Since you have supportive friends, have them sit you or go to an AA meeting with you. Not being alone and staying busy are key in the early days! Stay strong and stay close to here.
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Old 07-23-2017, 05:59 AM
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SC, the early days are really tough physically and mentally - what you are feeling is completely normal for day 5. What you have to keep in mind is that it will take time to heal and the pain you feel is evidence of the healing process: you are still in withdrawal. Some people are able to do this "solo" but many are not - this is what SR, AA, and other recovery groups bring: they keep us in contact with other people who are on the same journey.

I highly recommend you find local face-to-face support from others who understand and support recovery. AA is where I found that, but there are others which may "speak" to you more. The only thing I did well alone was isolate - which in recovery is the second worst thing we can do (first of course being to drink).

You're doing fine - please stay in touch and let us know how you are making out.

Best,
Eddie
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:12 AM
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SC, this is exactly why A PLAN is so strongly and repeatedly recommended. you can get to 3 days, 5 days, but you need a strong plan to keep you on the sober path. friends can't do it for you. you will HAVE to get into ACTION.

continuing to drink will ruin everything, eventually. your health is already compromised, your standard of living - and all of that can be turned around if you commit to NOT drinking, no matter what.

what are you willing to do for your sobriety?
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:22 AM
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Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
I'm not really doing the steps. Just praying myself for whatever comes to mind.
I hope that you can "find" the strength to stay sober.....
.....it is so worth it!

But you know...It takes work!
Prayers too... but work and dedication, commitment, nutrition, exercise,

We don't become addicted overnight... cannot get sober overnight either.

Stay close to SR.. check out a meeting today !

Work it... you can do this!
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:30 AM
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Prayers help, but it's about doing work on ourselves where we find the ability to change.....

I suggest working those steps for relief, if you can find someone who can help guide you through those steps the first time.....you can work the steps again when your brain is soberer!

xaspeakers.org take a listen there!
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:38 AM
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When i relapsed, I spent over four years trying everything to get sober agaoin. Praying, meditating, reading recovery books, keeping busy with other things, talking to supportive people...

It wasn't until I finally gave up and went back to regular attendance at AA meetings and start working the steps and the principles of the program again in my life that I could actually get back on my feet and stay stopped. Until I did that, not drinking would eventually become unbearable until I felt I had to drink again for some sort of relief.
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:40 AM
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Congratulations on 5 days sober! That's HUGE!
Stick around SR and try to get to a meeting if that is something you are considering.
That first one is so hard. Walking through those doors was scary for me, but once I did it, I was SO glad I did.
Just don't drink for today...tomorrow is tomorrow. NO need to worry about it, but try to have a plan..
Good luck to you
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Old 07-23-2017, 06:41 AM
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I know you care about your friend, but you have to leave her out of this equation. Get sober because it's best for YOU.
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Old 07-23-2017, 07:28 AM
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Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
I'm not really doing the steps. Just praying myself for whatever comes to mind.
good to read ya praying!
but what good does that do without action? personally it hasnt done much for me.
sittin in the garage all day wont make me a car.

my car needs brakes. they need to be replaced. i prayed about it. read up on how to do the work. prayed about it. bought all the parts. prayed about it.
my car still needs brakes.
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Old 07-23-2017, 08:33 PM
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Hi sweetichick

I kept it simple for the first few weeks. I did everything possible not to drink.

I know you've gone hot and cold on AA but if you're willing to do anything to stay sober, maybe getting a sponsor and doing the steps will add that extra layer of reinforcement and might do you some good?

You may find that your focus shifts from staying sober for other people to staying sober for yourself

D
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Old 07-23-2017, 08:45 PM
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Hi Sweetichick,

You will continue to feel better as the days add up. You have been on SR for a bit, and I know you really want sobriety. What are some of the things you have put in place to support you?
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:06 PM
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Many thanks to everyone who replied. Today is day 7 and the toughest due to it being payday. I look forward to posting tonight on how I made it through sober. Wish me luck. I may go back to AA. Not sure yet.
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:15 PM
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Sweetichick,

Congrats on day 7!

That is huge! How great it is to be feeling better physically already. It will get even better.

About payday, try to turn your thoughts around. Instead of wishing you could spend money on alcohol, think about how great it will be that you aren't wasting money on it .. how you can treat yourself to something healthy or just fun, now that you'll have extra money. Instead of thinking what you are giving up (which as you know is just causing you all kinds of physical and emotional and social harm), think about what you are gaining .. and will continue to gain over time .. by not drinking.

Continued best wishes! You can keep going.
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:08 PM
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Thanks TL for the encouragement. This afternoon will be the most tempting. Focusing on buying lots of healthy food so I can get even more energy. So over poisoning myself.
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:28 PM
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Make a commitment to post here first if you feel wobbly sweetichick

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