Let it Go
 

Hello SR friends. I have been struggling with negativity, self-defeat, anxiety. I almost made it a month sober but fell back to my old ways this past week. I feel so shameful today. Anxiety is through the roof. Gross taste in my mouth still.

So I am starting over again today. I am really desperate to stick to my plan

the (aa) book says that selfishness - self centeredness is the root of the problem

me me me all the time

God gives us a tool called being of service to others to help us think less about ourselves

self ... less

selfless

glad youre back

:tyou

Glad you came back Spartaman. You mention you want to stick to your plan this time - care to share what your plan is? Maybe we could help you add to it or change it to make it more effective.

I'm also curious if your plan includes any professional or proactive self-help for your anxiety. I suffer from anxiety too and needed to treat it as a distinct and real medical/psychological issue separate from my addiction.

glad ya made it back, spartanman.
this was from back in may:
"After thinking about it I suppose I should commit to the 90 in 90 which ii see recommended some times. Time to get serious and take some action instead of floating along from one bender to the next."

maybe time to stop "supposing" and commit,eh?

Yeah I should set up an appointment to see if I need some professional help with the anxiety issue. My sister went on anxiety medication a few years ago and it seemed to really help her.

My plan is to use SR and also set aside time each day for meditation and exercise . I was reading about "metta" meditation and it seems to be pretty powerful for cultivating gratitude and positive mental qualities. I am going to do it every day for the next 30 days and see how it goes.

I am also planning on setting aside time each day for drawing (just shuts off the mental noise) and journaling. When I make a conscious effort to do those things every day I stay away from drinking and it helps me a lot. When I start not doing those things I get a lot of negative mental energy building up and then it gets out of control and I start getting resentful and selfish, and then I end up drinking. I just need to set aside the time each day for those things and stick with it.

I am also going to implement the Rational Recovery techniques. I have that book and will be using it. I like the way it talks about recognizing the addictive inner voice and squashing it.

Thanks TomSteve. Yeah I didn't do the 90 in 90. I did go to some meetings here and there but didn't commit to it like I said I would.

welcome back spartanman :)

Do everything possible, the more you put in, the more you'll get back :)

give this your all.

D

I'm glad you are back. Keep at it! It's worth it!