Taevans64

Hi after a while of lurking and reading other posts I've joined today. I am coming to the end of my day two, which I am finding hard. I decided to seek sobriety as over the last couple of years drink has increasingly controlled me to the extent I am only able to manage one or two consecutive dry days. Needless to say those days are mainly occupied by thoughts of when I can have my next beer. I feel my life has become sidetracked by alcohol, preventing me caring and interacting with my family, participating in activites I used to enjoy. I am reaching for a glass of rose wine instead of stopping and smelling the roses!

I want my life back!

MidnightRider

WELCOME Taevans.

You are not alone!

This is a wonderful group!

Meraviglioso

Welcome to you! What a great insight about the rose wine instead of stopping to smell the roses.
The good news is you CAN get your life back. We are here to support you. Do you have any ideas of what you are going to do going forward to face the difficult times when you feel like drinking?

Taevans64

I was reading the post about urge surfing earlier this evening and it makes sense to me. The reason I read it was I was desperate for a beer at the time. I managed to fight that one but was looking for a tacitic for future situations.

tealily

Welcome .. so glad you joined us! For me logging on and jumping in to this forum has been a turning point and I hope it will be for you too.

Meraviglioso

Urge surfing is really helpful. Another tip I learned here was to time your cravings. Generally they are really bad for only a certain amount of time, say 7-10 minutes. Once you start feeling it you can watch the clock and wait for it to pass. Also be aware of your typical danger times. Do you start drinking in the evening while making dinner? Are afternoons tough for you? Whatever that time is try mixing things up and doing something outside of your normal routine.
Another tip I learned in rehab was that contact with water helps. If you are having a really bad moment and are at home and able take a bath or a quick shower. If you are out or are not able to take the time to fully bathe, just go to a sink and splash water on your face, the back of your neck or wash your hands and wrists thoroughly. Apparently this has to do with the fact that we were created and grown in the womb, surrounded by liquid and feeling water subconsciously brings us comfort.

Taevans64

Thanks for the advice. My danger times are anytime from about 3.30 pm but in particular post work rewards and as you've suggested preparing and cooking a meal. A convenient time to have several without your nearest and dearest noticing, you think! Will definitely bear the washing bathing bit in mind.

Bobbieka

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Joining the July class could help you a lot. I feel like my class is my family. We've been through a lot together.

Welcome to SR, Taevans.

Hevyn

Glad to have you with us, Taevens. We understand what you're going through - you're never alone.

SimplyFree

WelcomeTaevans! Be here, read a lot, post often and soak up the wisdom and support of the community.

least

Welcome to the family. Early recovery can be tough, but the longer you stay sober, the easier it gets. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Dee74

Really glad to have you join us Taevans64 - welcome

D

Meraviglioso

A good idea would be to change up your routine during these hours. Could you take a nice walk after work as a reward? Or maybe join a gym and stop there on the way home? Preparing dinner is a tough one, a think a lot of us here fell into that trap. Like you say, it is an easy moment to slip in a few glasses of wine with no one really paying attention. You can't really avoid cooking dinner, so how about finding something new to sip on while you cook? I love making sparkling water drinks with fresh herbs in them. Some of my favourites are lime and fresh mint leaves, rosemary and lavender and basil and lemon. You could also put on an audio book or recovery podcast to listen to while you cook.
Best of luck, stick around here. We know what you are going through and there is tons of support to go around.

Taevans64

Most activities I do, have involved alcohol in the past. A good workout in the gym equalled a 'reward' of a beer or two. 'A walk' 'Ok, but where to?' 'The pub!' However I am managing to change my expectations. Today I went for a ride on my motorbike, got home after a couple of hours and as it was a hot day would normally have gone straight to the fridge for a cold beer to 'saviour' the ride. Instead and adapting your drink suggestions I made several litres of fresh lemonade. After that I lit up the bbq, normally by now I would be drunk however it is the first time since I was about 15 I was at bbq without alcohol.
I didn't sleep much last night but spent plenty of time thinking and reviewing my life and how alcohol was entwined into all aspects of it. If I wanted to read I would pour a glass of wine. Watch a football match go to the pub or get a four pack in. A day in the garden a bbq and beer. And so on. Millions of people enjoy those activities without needing the support of alcohol. If they can so can I. I don't need alcohol. So Mr Addictive Voice you can shout alll you want I am not listening!

saoutchik

Welcome to SR Taevans64! You have a good attitude.