Day 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
Day 1
Hey guys,
Back on day one, been nearly 4 months of solid daily drinking, before that over 2 years sober.
Did I find any answers from the huge number of beer cans I've just ploughed through - no
The last few drinking sessions I've had I've started to notice that it's getting harder and harder to actually stomach the alcohol, I was buying more than I could drink and there were a couple of nights when I was wishing that I didn't have to drink anymore. That's AV for you, it totally brainwashed me to the point I genuinely believed I needed to drink everyday and that it was a task that needed doing like going to work or washing the car.
It's going to be hard but I'm willing to do what is necessary to make the changes. And I will need to make some big changes.
I'm grateful for my family, daughter and my job, and very fortunate that all of this is intact still
Have a good day everyone
Back on day one, been nearly 4 months of solid daily drinking, before that over 2 years sober.
Did I find any answers from the huge number of beer cans I've just ploughed through - no
The last few drinking sessions I've had I've started to notice that it's getting harder and harder to actually stomach the alcohol, I was buying more than I could drink and there were a couple of nights when I was wishing that I didn't have to drink anymore. That's AV for you, it totally brainwashed me to the point I genuinely believed I needed to drink everyday and that it was a task that needed doing like going to work or washing the car.
It's going to be hard but I'm willing to do what is necessary to make the changes. And I will need to make some big changes.
I'm grateful for my family, daughter and my job, and very fortunate that all of this is intact still
Have a good day everyone
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,663
Stewy- you have an awareness that drinking is not good. You have not lost your family, daughter or job.
Yet.
I was aware and gave up -or was too addicted or whatever. Embrace that knowledge- use it.
Yet.
I was aware and gave up -or was too addicted or whatever. Embrace that knowledge- use it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Stewy84 
It's going to be hard but I'm willing to do what is necessary to make the changes. And I will need to make some big changes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
Originally Posted by DyerMaker
I have a couple questions if you don't mind.
1) What made you break your sobriety after such a long time?
2) How quickly, if at all, did you return to your prior drinking level?
1) What made you break your sobriety after such a long time?
2) How quickly, if at all, did you return to your prior drinking level?
Regarding number 2 I returned to the exact same level of drinking which was between 5 and 10 pints of beer daily, every evening for nearly 4 months. There was no real discussion that went on in my own head about moderation / cutting down , nor was there any thinking that I would in any way be able to control the drinking so it was completely ridiculous to even start again in the first place
It became top priority in my life, I made sure I worked and saw my daughter as these things to me are essential however rather than enjoying / living life in a mindful and productive way, I just lived for the next time I could drink (which was mostly until I passed out)
On the rare occasions I did not pass out, I became very irritable and grouchy, jittery as the effects of the alcohol wore off- but still I just continued to plough through can after can- this was noticeable the weekend just gone- awful feeling
I need to stop for me
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Welcome back! Like others have note you still have your family and job for now.. I was starting to alienate everyone/everything because,like you, I lived to drink. I did the bare minimum at work on everything,jobs,relationships,ect..came after my want/need to drink. This video really helped me..Hopefully it'll help you/others as well,my friend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foj3lB7vtDo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foj3lB7vtDo
Sober since 7/10/17
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Maine
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by Stewy84
In reference to 1 I moved out of my house after breaking up with my girlfriend. Stupid reason for starting drinking again
Regarding number 2 I returned to the exact same level of drinking which was between 5 and 10 pints of beer daily, every evening for nearly 4 months. There was no real discussion that went on in my own head about moderation / cutting down , nor was there any thinking that I would in any way be able to control the drinking so it was completely ridiculous to even start again in the first place
It became top priority in my life, I made sure I worked and saw my daughter as these things to me are essential however rather than enjoying / living life in a mindful and productive way, I just lived for the next time I could drink (which was mostly until I passed out)
On the rare occasions I did not pass out, I became very irritable and grouchy, jittery as the effects of the alcohol wore off- but still I just continued to plough through can after can- this was noticeable the weekend just gone- awful feeling
I need to stop for me
Regarding number 2 I returned to the exact same level of drinking which was between 5 and 10 pints of beer daily, every evening for nearly 4 months. There was no real discussion that went on in my own head about moderation / cutting down , nor was there any thinking that I would in any way be able to control the drinking so it was completely ridiculous to even start again in the first place
It became top priority in my life, I made sure I worked and saw my daughter as these things to me are essential however rather than enjoying / living life in a mindful and productive way, I just lived for the next time I could drink (which was mostly until I passed out)
On the rare occasions I did not pass out, I became very irritable and grouchy, jittery as the effects of the alcohol wore off- but still I just continued to plough through can after can- this was noticeable the weekend just gone- awful feeling
I need to stop for me
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Drinking is a death sentence for people like us. Losing all the things that are important to us is a big sacrafice (sp) but losing our life to this devil is the worst. Drinking now reminds me when I was a kid. I'd take all kinds of chances thinking nothing bad would happen to me. I thought nothing of the dangerous things I did. And I really didn't think of the affects my actions had on others. I was in my own world and thought nothing of it. Today I feel lucky I'm alive but have many regrets of all the people that paid a price for my foolishness. My wife, my child, family and friends paid dearly for my self-centeredness and addiction. Sadly, my story is common. I truly hope you take the many suggestions you have been offered seriously before you end up like me. Losing yourself is much worse than losing everything you think is important to you. John
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
One last thing. One of my best friend's mother in high school was an alcoholic. She never left her bedroom. My friends father was a great guy but knew back then that there was nothing he could do to help her other than keep her comfortable and supply her with alcohol. She eventually died. There wasn't the resources available back then that are available today. I can't imagine the pain that family went through. My point is that for most people there are many resourses that are available to keep this from happening. People don't have to die from this sickness like they did before. And families don't have to suffer like they did before. So Stewy, what are you going to do different this time? John
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Welcome back Stewy. What specific/big changes are you planning on making? It might help to actually write them down so you have some motivation/accountability right off the bat. There are a lot of people here who use a whole host of recovery programs and plans that are more than willing to help you - but you have to take action first.
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