Thoughts about mortality when sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Seymour, CT
Posts: 132
Thoughts about mortality when sober.
I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I've been having these thoughts lately about my mortality and the mortality of the people I love.
It's not uncommon for the thought to enter my brain and then leave as quick as it had come, but lately it keeps me lying awake at night. I'm startled by any sound and I'm convinced I smell smoke and go check the peephole outside of our condo to make sure everything is okay. I think about those poor people living in that high rise building that caught fire and people couldn't escape. I keep myself busy throughout the day either working out, reading, cleaning, organizing, cooking, helping friends, etc.. but once nightfall hits and I'm left with my own thoughts I can't help but think about tragedy that might strike and the realization that I won't be here one day.
Do any of you struggle with these thoughts after getting sober? Any advise on what I can do to get myself back in my head when it occurs?
It's not uncommon for the thought to enter my brain and then leave as quick as it had come, but lately it keeps me lying awake at night. I'm startled by any sound and I'm convinced I smell smoke and go check the peephole outside of our condo to make sure everything is okay. I think about those poor people living in that high rise building that caught fire and people couldn't escape. I keep myself busy throughout the day either working out, reading, cleaning, organizing, cooking, helping friends, etc.. but once nightfall hits and I'm left with my own thoughts I can't help but think about tragedy that might strike and the realization that I won't be here one day.
Do any of you struggle with these thoughts after getting sober? Any advise on what I can do to get myself back in my head when it occurs?
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
That's nice and heavy for a Monday morning! 
I don't know that I have any practical advice. Just the observation that death is certain, so worrying about it only serves to steal the life that I have. (Very much like drinking was, come to think of it.)
Obsessing over it seems...well...obsessive. Perhaps meditation or some therapy might help.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
I don't know that I have any practical advice. Just the observation that death is certain, so worrying about it only serves to steal the life that I have. (Very much like drinking was, come to think of it.)
Obsessing over it seems...well...obsessive. Perhaps meditation or some therapy might help.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
I can relate to what you are saying. I have often let myself get caught up in truly sad thoughts about myself and loved ones...and always upon going to bed, no other distractions.
I find having a good bed time routine helps, for me that is prayer and reading. I also use meditation to quiet my mind. It took some practice but i rarely get hijacked by those thoughts now although they do still try at times. For me, it would feel like all my fears came to visit at the same time.
I use an app called Insight Timer for meditation. Lots of guided and unguided meditations.
xx
I find having a good bed time routine helps, for me that is prayer and reading. I also use meditation to quiet my mind. It took some practice but i rarely get hijacked by those thoughts now although they do still try at times. For me, it would feel like all my fears came to visit at the same time.
I use an app called Insight Timer for meditation. Lots of guided and unguided meditations.
xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I'm really sorry for your loss Columbus.
Nikka, when I first got sober, I couldn't believe that there wasn't something nasty waiting for me health wise. I fully expected to have to deal with some dire and probably terminal health crisis - in a way I felt I deserved it for all the crazy things I did to my mind and body.
As time wore on and I forgave myself for my foolishness, and it became clear I wasn't going to drop down dead, I stopped thinking about my imminent death and got on with living my life.
I hope you will too
no one knows when our number is up..
I believe as much as possible we all should live each day as if it were our last...
D
Nikka, when I first got sober, I couldn't believe that there wasn't something nasty waiting for me health wise. I fully expected to have to deal with some dire and probably terminal health crisis - in a way I felt I deserved it for all the crazy things I did to my mind and body.
As time wore on and I forgave myself for my foolishness, and it became clear I wasn't going to drop down dead, I stopped thinking about my imminent death and got on with living my life.
I hope you will too
no one knows when our number is up..
I believe as much as possible we all should live each day as if it were our last...
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Nikka,
My sister died of cancer 1 1/2 years ago. She was 37. Her passing sent me into a place of fear. I thought of my own death a lot and it was frightening for me. I felt like I could not breathe or have a sense of ease for months. I do understand how you are feeling and how confusing it all can be.
I can see why people turn to religion. I can see why people have faith.
I think your thoughts are very normal and very necessary. You are not alone.
I dont have any words to make the situation better but I do know that over time I started to feel better and not think about my mortality any longer.
My sister died of cancer 1 1/2 years ago. She was 37. Her passing sent me into a place of fear. I thought of my own death a lot and it was frightening for me. I felt like I could not breathe or have a sense of ease for months. I do understand how you are feeling and how confusing it all can be.
I can see why people turn to religion. I can see why people have faith.
I think your thoughts are very normal and very necessary. You are not alone.
I dont have any words to make the situation better but I do know that over time I started to feel better and not think about my mortality any longer.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,626
I have faced and seen death, both personally and professionally perhaps more than most. To the extent I have revolting flashbacks from stuff. The concept of death in itself is not scary- the final process was- that is until the wonders of science and technology bought me back 3 times. CBT is an excellent way to deal with unfounded anxieties.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Strange as it may seem, I sometimes wonder what I will die of.
Will it be old age or a disease or an accident?
It is not upsetting to me, just a general 'I wonder what"...although I don't tend to share my thoughts with anyone.
Sometimes when I am driving home, I have these thoughts and then I do think that all the things that cause me worry, upset or stress are probably not really worth it, because anything could happen to me.
If it becomes an obsession then i will seek help.
I also agree that having a faith helps.
Will it be old age or a disease or an accident?
It is not upsetting to me, just a general 'I wonder what"...although I don't tend to share my thoughts with anyone.
Sometimes when I am driving home, I have these thoughts and then I do think that all the things that cause me worry, upset or stress are probably not really worth it, because anything could happen to me.
If it becomes an obsession then i will seek help.
I also agree that having a faith helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Death is an important part of life. It keeps us honest and engaged, but it also brings to the forefront spiritual thoughts. We all chose what we believe or don't believe. What will we have faith in? No one knows what exactly is next....we have faith. Will we see ones we love? Will we meet God and experience His perfect love and joy? Or will it be nothing. Dark, empty, cold are all something, but nothing is nothing. I think about am I leaving a role model in the minds of my children of love or selfish immaturity. Maybe that matters more then what comes next. I chose faith in God's gift of salvation in Jesus.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
