Neighbor and pool situation
Lol all awesome! We are actually having a horror movie scene called Blood of the Mummy and turning the pool red for a blood bath scene! Maybe I'll leave the dye!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
I am so aggressive when it comes to companies/people on the phone, etc., and even rude customer service people at the store.
But, I am awful at these types of things and almost a coward, which doesn't correspond at all to my other personality. I don't know if you made these promises when drunk, but I did something similar which I kind of regret. I offered to share my office (which I'm never, ever in) with someone else. I didn't even remember doing that until she asked if "the offer was still good" in last mid-summer. I immediately hated myself but then I realized I'm seldom, if ever, in my office. I simply told her (through text) that she could use it after 1 p.m. (when I'm gone). It's worked out fine.
If I were you, I'd simply send a nice text message, with some smiley faces, lols, whatever you need to do and blame it mostly on insurance and liability.
Of course, you could take the direct and rather harsh position that some are advocating, but in the end, the same results will be achieved. Instead of stewing over this, send the message soon-ish and be done with it. They will probably like to save face as well.
The have abused the invitation and they should know that. If someone offered me something like that, I might go over once a week, but even then, I would feel very odd unless we were related or BFFs. Just too weird.
But, I am awful at these types of things and almost a coward, which doesn't correspond at all to my other personality. I don't know if you made these promises when drunk, but I did something similar which I kind of regret. I offered to share my office (which I'm never, ever in) with someone else. I didn't even remember doing that until she asked if "the offer was still good" in last mid-summer. I immediately hated myself but then I realized I'm seldom, if ever, in my office. I simply told her (through text) that she could use it after 1 p.m. (when I'm gone). It's worked out fine.
If I were you, I'd simply send a nice text message, with some smiley faces, lols, whatever you need to do and blame it mostly on insurance and liability.
Of course, you could take the direct and rather harsh position that some are advocating, but in the end, the same results will be achieved. Instead of stewing over this, send the message soon-ish and be done with it. They will probably like to save face as well.
The have abused the invitation and they should know that. If someone offered me something like that, I might go over once a week, but even then, I would feel very odd unless we were related or BFFs. Just too weird.
I am so aggressive when it comes to companies/people on the phone, etc., and even rude customer service people at the store.
But, I am awful at these types of things and almost a coward, which doesn't correspond at all to my other personality. I don't know if you made these promises when drunk, but I did something similar which I kind of regret. I offered to share my office (which I'm never, ever in) with someone else. I didn't even remember doing that until she asked if "the offer was still good" in last mid-summer. I immediately hated myself but then I realized I'm seldom, if ever, in my office. I simply told her (through text) that she could use it after 1 p.m. (when I'm gone). It's worked out fine.
If I were you, I'd simply send a nice text message, with some smiley faces, lols, whatever you need to do and blame it mostly on insurance and liability.
Of course, you could take the direct and rather harsh position that some are advocating, but in the end, the same results will be achieved. Instead of stewing over this, send the message soon-ish and be done with it. They will probably like to save face as well.
The have abused the invitation and they should know that. If someone offered me something like that, I might go over once a week, but even then, I would feel very odd unless we were related or BFFs. Just too weird.
But, I am awful at these types of things and almost a coward, which doesn't correspond at all to my other personality. I don't know if you made these promises when drunk, but I did something similar which I kind of regret. I offered to share my office (which I'm never, ever in) with someone else. I didn't even remember doing that until she asked if "the offer was still good" in last mid-summer. I immediately hated myself but then I realized I'm seldom, if ever, in my office. I simply told her (through text) that she could use it after 1 p.m. (when I'm gone). It's worked out fine.
If I were you, I'd simply send a nice text message, with some smiley faces, lols, whatever you need to do and blame it mostly on insurance and liability.
Of course, you could take the direct and rather harsh position that some are advocating, but in the end, the same results will be achieved. Instead of stewing over this, send the message soon-ish and be done with it. They will probably like to save face as well.
The have abused the invitation and they should know that. If someone offered me something like that, I might go over once a week, but even then, I would feel very odd unless we were related or BFFs. Just too weird.
So this whole thing was done stone cold sober. It was only intended for the children. And only once in a while. The main "pool offender" lol is the dad next door. He is the ring leader. The one that floating in the pool by himself one day while we were gone and we came home and there he was. He loves a pool. HE not the kids. Sure, the kids love it too... but he is also a big pot smoker (which I'm not opposed too, Just don't smoke it myself), so it's nice for him to get real high and just walk over to my pool with his kids for some free entertainment while he just floats around in the pool stoned AF. It took me a while to realize all of this. Then the pot smoking neighbors next to him started joining in on the pool fun. Then I found a roach out there one day. I know I mentioned that before, but my oh my how would I ever explain that to my son.
I think my style is going to be to approach it when they ask again or when we randomly run in to them out front. I just adore their kids and I always give them a cookie when I see them, so I know they will be surfacing soon.
I saw the mom next door yesterday. She had her hands full with the 2 kids and 2 other kids and her mom was there and she was overwhelmed and just in from work. She asked me how I've been and we had a generic conversation quickly. I didn't have the heart to lay that on her right then. She has never even gone in the pool, it's her husband. So I'm still waiting until I see him in person. But he is normally outside all the time and always texting us for this and that... and he is in complete hiding. So that tells me he knows he has overstepped boundaries. Anyway, I'm still going to mention it just so it's official when the time is right. Also, found the PERFECT lock for the fence. Combo on the outside and a latch on the inside so we can get in and out easily. But if you don't know the combo then you can't get in. Perfect!
sunshine, I went through this over 10 years ago. One summer my next door neighbor asked me if she could bring her son over each day, to teach him to swim.
I felt kind of panicked, as I wanted to be neighborly, but knew it would blossom into the whole family coming over etc.
Fortunately I responded that I'd need to look into it, before responding . Turns out I had plenty of ground to say no, on liability issues alone, but I responded no, based on liability, our dogs and personal privacy ..... we skinny dip too ! I wanted to cover all bases, making it clear it was a " no go" !
I've never regretted it, it had to be nipped in the bud. We did have a situation with family coming over while we were out of town and the very same neighbors called us to report it and let us know they didn't feel the parents were properly supervising their children .
I felt kind of panicked, as I wanted to be neighborly, but knew it would blossom into the whole family coming over etc.
Fortunately I responded that I'd need to look into it, before responding . Turns out I had plenty of ground to say no, on liability issues alone, but I responded no, based on liability, our dogs and personal privacy ..... we skinny dip too ! I wanted to cover all bases, making it clear it was a " no go" !
I've never regretted it, it had to be nipped in the bud. We did have a situation with family coming over while we were out of town and the very same neighbors called us to report it and let us know they didn't feel the parents were properly supervising their children .
sunshine, I went through this over 10 years ago. One summer my next door neighbor asked me if she could bring her son over each day, to teach him to swim.
I felt kind of panicked, as I wanted to be neighborly, but knew it would blossom into the whole family coming over etc.
Fortunately I responded that I'd need to look into it, before responding . Turns out I had plenty of ground to say no, on liability issues alone, but I responded no, based on liability, our dogs and personal privacy ..... we skinny dip too ! I wanted to cover all bases, making it clear it was a " no go" !
I've never regretted it, it had to be nipped in the bud. We did have a situation with family coming over while we were out of town and the very same neighbors called us to report it and let us know they didn't feel the parents were properly supervising their children .
I felt kind of panicked, as I wanted to be neighborly, but knew it would blossom into the whole family coming over etc.
Fortunately I responded that I'd need to look into it, before responding . Turns out I had plenty of ground to say no, on liability issues alone, but I responded no, based on liability, our dogs and personal privacy ..... we skinny dip too ! I wanted to cover all bases, making it clear it was a " no go" !
I've never regretted it, it had to be nipped in the bud. We did have a situation with family coming over while we were out of town and the very same neighbors called us to report it and let us know they didn't feel the parents were properly supervising their children .
Hi, Sunshine.
The fact that the main offender dad is nowhere to be seen tells me that perhaps a little bird in the neighborhood shared your annoyance.
You may not have to do a thing., beyond locking the gates.
I go with the friendly text idea.
This doesn't have to be a face to facer.
The fact that the main offender dad is nowhere to be seen tells me that perhaps a little bird in the neighborhood shared your annoyance.
You may not have to do a thing., beyond locking the gates.
I go with the friendly text idea.
This doesn't have to be a face to facer.
OK the time has come. The main pool offender is gone to the beach for this entire week with his family. So have not had a chance to talk to him. The neighbors next to him that are the other pooll offenders have asked to bring their daughter swimming tonight. I have my cousin and her son coming but it really wouldn't be a problem if they wanted to bring her but something about it is just annoying me. So since I haven't had a chance to confront anyone face-to-face and I feel really intimidated to do so I have composed this text message to the whole-group. Please let me know if you all think that I should send it because I'm starting to get that anxiety feeling again.
"Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing great. Just wanted to let you all know that we have to put a lock on our gate. Come To find out it is our responsibility as pool owners to make absolutely sure that no child can get in. Very scared that the young kids may come in through the gate and something bad would happen. Speaking of which we aren't allowed to let anyone use the pool when we're not home. God forbid something would happen then we Would-be liable for that accident. And since we're speaking of it during the week is pretty much out because our desks are right there at the pool and it's distracting and also we just like privacy. So maybe once in awhile on the weekends we can all come together and have a swim. I'm sorry for putting the open invitation out there like I did because I didn't want to be a party pooper but we have a huge liability factor plus general privacy. We LOVE you all very much and very blessed to have you as neighbors and friends so hopefully this won't cause any uncomfortable feelings. "
"Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing great. Just wanted to let you all know that we have to put a lock on our gate. Come To find out it is our responsibility as pool owners to make absolutely sure that no child can get in. Very scared that the young kids may come in through the gate and something bad would happen. Speaking of which we aren't allowed to let anyone use the pool when we're not home. God forbid something would happen then we Would-be liable for that accident. And since we're speaking of it during the week is pretty much out because our desks are right there at the pool and it's distracting and also we just like privacy. So maybe once in awhile on the weekends we can all come together and have a swim. I'm sorry for putting the open invitation out there like I did because I didn't want to be a party pooper but we have a huge liability factor plus general privacy. We LOVE you all very much and very blessed to have you as neighbors and friends so hopefully this won't cause any uncomfortable feelings. "
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: upstate new york
Posts: 131
lol ....as you mentioned before maybe a little signage on the gate couldn't hurt. just a simple "no trespassing"sign. don't know how much it matters but as we know most kids can easily jump a 4 ft. chain link if that's what you have.
6ft fence... Do you think I should send the above-mentioned text? I'm worried I will forget what I want to say in person and may get angry or wuss out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
OK the time has come. The main pool offender is gone to the beach for this entire week with his family. So have not had a chance to talk to him. The neighbors next to him that are the other pooll offenders have asked to bring their daughter swimming tonight. I have my cousin and her son coming but it really wouldn't be a problem if they wanted to bring her but something about it is just annoying me. So since I haven't had a chance to confront anyone face-to-face and I feel really intimidated to do so I have composed this text message to the whole-group. Please let me know if you all think that I should send it because I'm starting to get that anxiety feeling again.
"Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing great. Just wanted to let you all know that we have to put a lock on our gate. Come To find out it is our responsibility as pool owners to make absolutely sure that no child can get in. Very scared that the young kids may come in through the gate and something bad would happen. Speaking of which we aren't allowed to let anyone use the pool when we're not home. God forbid something would happen then we Would-be liable for that accident. And since we're speaking of it during the week is pretty much out because our desks are right there at the pool and it's distracting and also we just like privacy. So maybe once in awhile on the weekends we can all come together and have a swim. I'm sorry for putting the open invitation out there like I did because I didn't want to be a party pooper but we have a huge liability factor plus general privacy. We LOVE you all very much and very blessed to have you as neighbors and friends so hopefully this won't cause any uncomfortable feelings. "
"Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing great. Just wanted to let you all know that we have to put a lock on our gate. Come To find out it is our responsibility as pool owners to make absolutely sure that no child can get in. Very scared that the young kids may come in through the gate and something bad would happen. Speaking of which we aren't allowed to let anyone use the pool when we're not home. God forbid something would happen then we Would-be liable for that accident. And since we're speaking of it during the week is pretty much out because our desks are right there at the pool and it's distracting and also we just like privacy. So maybe once in awhile on the weekends we can all come together and have a swim. I'm sorry for putting the open invitation out there like I did because I didn't want to be a party pooper but we have a huge liability factor plus general privacy. We LOVE you all very much and very blessed to have you as neighbors and friends so hopefully this won't cause any uncomfortable feelings. "
Are you working on your recovery, learning
how to remain sober under all kinds of life
situations? I'm asking, because I'm not familiar
with your story and was wondering.
We have an underground pool too, with a
nice tall white vinyl fence surrounding our
back yard. We are also private neighbors.
We don't like folks approaching our property
unless its the mailman or UPS. Family call
first if they are in the neighborhood.
I even ordered and placed a No Soliciting
sign near the doorbell so those selling something
or anything will know that we will not
respond to the doorbell or knock.
You can order all kinds of particular signs
on Ebay or Amazon or go to your local
Lowes down the mailbox isle where
various signs are located.
You are intitled to your privacy,
protecting your property and it
doesn't matter what anyone else
thinks about this, because its not
about them. This is your home,
your protection, safety, peace of
mind esp. in today time.
So many folks go out of their way
to protect their property against
robbery, theft, destruction of property,
by placing cameras, lighting, locked
gates, fences, etc.
If someone get hurt on your property
then they can turn around and sue you.
Now a days folks get sued for looking
at you the wrong way.
Coming here to get some helpful
suggestion is an awesome way to
find ways to protect your family,
your property and self.
how to remain sober under all kinds of life
situations? I'm asking, because I'm not familiar
with your story and was wondering.
We have an underground pool too, with a
nice tall white vinyl fence surrounding our
back yard. We are also private neighbors.
We don't like folks approaching our property
unless its the mailman or UPS. Family call
first if they are in the neighborhood.
I even ordered and placed a No Soliciting
sign near the doorbell so those selling something
or anything will know that we will not
respond to the doorbell or knock.
You can order all kinds of particular signs
on Ebay or Amazon or go to your local
Lowes down the mailbox isle where
various signs are located.
You are intitled to your privacy,
protecting your property and it
doesn't matter what anyone else
thinks about this, because its not
about them. This is your home,
your protection, safety, peace of
mind esp. in today time.
So many folks go out of their way
to protect their property against
robbery, theft, destruction of property,
by placing cameras, lighting, locked
gates, fences, etc.
If someone get hurt on your property
then they can turn around and sue you.
Now a days folks get sued for looking
at you the wrong way.
Coming here to get some helpful
suggestion is an awesome way to
find ways to protect your family,
your property and self.
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