The Post of Shame......;)
 

Well, as is not uncommon around here, I am posting about my relapse. I had been doing well, abstaining, seeing a counselor, and had a plan. Nonetheless, I had some good fortune, and celebrated with some friends, thought some champagne wouldn't hurt, and we're off.......

At 3-4 scotches a day for about a week now. Dammit.

So, I am recalibrating, and another Day One, starts again. I really want this. My wife has offered to quit with me (she enjoys her wine, but she can stop on a dime, no problem) I am disappointed terribly with myself.

Boy, do I know that feeling! But don't wallow in it...you can feel shameful and embarrassed and disappointed today while you don't drink, and then tomorrow when you don't drink, you can feel less shameful and embarrassed and disappointed, and then the next day when you don't drink, etc...

I can't imagine staying sober with alcohol in my house; I think you should hug your wife really hard, and take her up on her offer of supportive abstinence. She sounds like a keeper!

hello horn95,

Good thing you didn't let your relapse last longer. I think you can use some tweaks on your recovery plan?

I understand exactly how you feel Horn; I've felt that way far too many times, and I never want to be in that mental state again. Fortunately, in my case, the worst of the shame, remorse and depression only lasts a day or two. I'm also restarting myself, so I can only offer limited advice, but I can offer support if you feel like drinking again. Please post here or PM me if you do.

And I agree with Arpeg's suggestion; take up your wife's offer to join you. It sounds like she can help keep you accountable, and removing alcohol from the house for now is probably a good idea.

Good that you are hopefully learning from the "slip up".

Now u know ... Celebrations are just fine without Champagne ..

Hi Horn,

I'm glad you're back, and I hope you can come up with another way to celebrate next time. You can do this! :)

Hi Horn,

Welcome back!

That Day 1 is hard. I agree - take your wife up on her offer and let her help you get through that first day. It is obviously up to you, but having someone to lean on helped me tremendously.
Let us know how you are doing.

Horn, there is no use in shame.

You've made a mistake. This devious voice that tells that "Now I can handle. It's ok to have a glass" - you believed it.

The point is to learn from mistakes and move forward.

"No regrets - they don't work."

Keep your chin up.

You're not alone, I've been there so many times too, "celebrations" and "events" are always my downfall. I wish you all the best of luck and success!

Welcome back Horn :)

Apart from your wife not drinking, what tweaks are you going to make to your behaviour and your plan?

D

Hi Horn,
No need for shame. It was a moment of insanity over which you had no control. At certain times the alcoholic has no effective mental defense against the first drink. The sane thought that should have stopped you just didn't come. Instead the insane idea that as it was a happy occasion, a drink would be alright, won the day.

The lesson is that for some of us, we need to find an effective defense for those moments. I found one in AA. I could no more think my way out of a drink than I could think my way out of a headache. That is what is meant by powerless.

Thanks everyone. My plan was good. I just tossed it aside. My mistake.

I have had it happen to me too several times!! Welcome back!! Keep working your plan and stay vigilant!! :)

Been there done that......I hate day 1, so much so that.....I stay sober! You got this!