Bimle

Greetings,
(I hope I am using the forum right.)

I am a male in my early twenties, and i've not cut down on alcohol consumption since around 15.
I got severe disease anxiety and anxiety towards dying in general. I am fine with the idea of it, but that has also caused quite the constant feeling of dispear. I always feel like i'll end up dying tomorrow or having caused harm which will end up inflicting said event. Therefor I have used alcohol as reliever. I always used it as a means, but I cannot stop anymore and it is taking over my daily life, I am not sure what to do anymore. I also seem to have developped a restistance, since I can't get the buzz from a bottle of whisky like I used to, it just seems like nothing is happening at the bottom except nausua.

It has inflicted a wound on my work stability, which is the most stressing consern.

Also for info, since i've seen others post it.- My grandparents on both sides have had alcohol abuse and 1 died from it. My father is a former abuser, but won't talk about it for family reasons.- Also i've chosen not to dig, due to being shy of it and it feeling like a failure from my side.

Do anyone have any advice to quit? I know the forums must be riddled with it, but something that is more guided towards a person that is prone to say 'F it, i'll die tomorrow',
Thanks in advance.
Bimle-

PhoenixJ

Hi Bimle and welcome. It is a good thoing to be AWARE,

PhoenixJ

sorry, old computer, does weird stuff

to know you want to stop drinking. It is a decision, if you choose to keep it- will benefit you. Anxiety, isolation and avoidance were cornerstones for me. Drinking did not make any of my problems go away, it just shut them up for a short time. To stop- I needed help, advice and support. Will power did not exist for me- as alcoholism is an addiction. Addiction changes our behaviour, thinking, morals, self esteem - and all the physical stuff.
So I see a doc- to monitor my anxiety, depression and physical health. I go to AA/SMART meetings (whatever it takes) for regular support, to learn, share, socialise- to get out of my isolation/headspace. I

PhoenixJ

see?

I see a counsellor about how to cope on a right here, right now basis (much like SMART). Every few months I see a psychologist to change my patterns of thinking through what I do, to feel better 9CBT).0

Support to you

dangro123

I'm in my late twenties and didnt touch drink really until I was 26, so for three years I've been drinking every couple of months or so. I've been using it to get high and **** it all, also had a touch of death anxiety.

Both my father and grandfather died due to alcohol which means playing with alcohol is risky business.

I drank last nite, I drank the equivalent of 10 cans of lager beer. I've been doing that from every 1-3 months since I was 26 years old i'm thinking that isn't having a good effect, so i'm going to start over again.

My problem is that in a way I want to stop but I also want to stay a drinker so I could have a drink if I was on a date with a girl or something.

Bimle

I move a lot out of country, due to different jobs - So seeing a therapists for me is not an opportunity, but i've tried it. All though when I tried it, the sessions were more of a morale boost for me, due to how I was younger and having downed so many units seemed funny to me, when it was stressed as a concern. I really want to try an AA group, but I am also really afraid of the light it will show me in. I think TV, has brought a bad vision of AA upon me, but you suggest AA is actually a valid mean of support? I am willing to try it again, since I dont want this to affect my family life nor work life anymore. If possible.

I've seen some people thrive to religion as a means of support, and i've thought about it as well. I think I am just being a little naive, hoping for some go-quick-end-fast method where my matter will be solved in a month.
Thank you for your reply
- Bimle

Bimle

@Dangro - I feel you in a way, I also want to continue drinking, but I don't think I really want to drink for the same reasons as I used to.
I continue drinking trying to fetch a nostalgia buzz that I will probably never reach again, along with the "ill die soon" feeling.

I think the issue of wanting to continue drinking is a shared issue, for both of us. Along with many others on this forum. Drinking because we enjoy it, might just be an excuse, but a necessary excuse to continue.

Fly N Buy

When I made a decision to get sober and took some positive action to back up that decision, things changed. I am not unique and our collective experiences demonstrated this.

Alcohol clouded my reality. As some time passed my brain cleared and I could start to see my truths and come to accept certain things while attempting to make positive changes in others. Soberly, we gain the wisdom to know the difference, to quote a well know prayer.

Our is a progressive illness - it gets worse, never better. Age, duration of drinking career, patterns etc make no difference. Alcohol Use Disorder doesn't discriminate.

Welcome, you don't have to drink and you're not alone. We all have some levels of fear. Soberly, we learn how to overcome many of these. Faith helps me a lot with the one you describe.

The program and fellowship you mention have changed everything for me.

Bimle

@Fly N Buy - Thank you, I hope that by realising my issue or more importantly making an aggressive move to tackle it is my first step.

TheProdigy

I'm 26yo and I was anxious about death during my worst periods too, I would even pray before passing out because I didn't want to die.
I decided to quit for good about a week ago because I was mad at myself. I felt that it was unfair that I would destroy my life on purpose for no reason. I also imagined how the 18yo me would react if he saw me today.
This is when I said no more, I need to break this cycle once and for all.
I hope you can stay sober and get rid of the anxiety.

Keepthefaith76

In the same, ive always been a heavy drinker but since giving birth a year ago and suffering weird and horrendous anxiety (thyroid probs have made things worse) have used drink as a soother and has become daily where as i used to have a few days off, horrible catch 22 x i cant even explain it to the docs been in some right states with anxiety and i think to myself how can a doctor understand if never felt that way, not simple things like social anxiety but wanting to crawl out of my head, trapped in my brain, so hard to describe but what gave me consolation on loads of googling can actually be spiritual awakening ...hope you sort it

dangro123

I do want to stop for good again but I know I'll want to get a date with a girl or something and I know not having a drink will make things seem boring. I could try not drinking until I ever get a date again which could be a long time because I'm a very shy person. I think I could do with this not drinking to get high stuff. Here goes nothing. Day1 again or I could pretend I've been off it years to make me feel better.

I used to get fear of dying a bit, not because of drink but just a fear of dying itself. I sometimes drank to take this fear away. Something I have began to think is, maybe our body has a way with coping when we come to the moments of death. Maybe at the moment we die, our human body gives us our own natural hit of really strong whisky or vodka so that our body makes it easy on us as if we are drunk and we just black out.


I heard somebody say something very wise recently about drink and it's sort of simple.

He said: "Drink may seem ok now, but it WILL catch up with you eventually".

Drink is speeding up our demise as my father and grandfather both drank and it did catch up with them eventually.

BrendaChenowyth

There are people who are equipped to help you figure this issue out. You need counseling because you can't continue to have your fear of something inevitable getting in the way of living your life. I've been afraid of death since I was 9, and I think that's unfair, because I don't believe everyone becomes acutely aware of it that early. My fear only comes up at night if I can't sleep. If it gets to you all the time, you need to get someone to help you deal with it.

We have to learn how to cope with our anxieties without alcohol because.. you're going to die a lot sooner if you don't, to be honest.

Dee74

Hi and welcoem bimle
I used alcohol to self -treat anxiety.

The problem was, as time went on, I needed more and more alcohol to make it work, and then it stopped working at all. The other thing was I now no longer had just my original anxiety but also the anxiety of wanting/needing to drink.

Of course the greatest irony here is, if your anxiety is about death or ill health, alcohol is one of the surefire ways to bring about one, or both, of those outcomes.

You have youth and I'm sure robust health on your side tho

Have you ever seen anyone about your anxiety?

D