jwc123

I'm here because my husband is a marijuana addict. He denies that there is any such thing - says it is not an addictive substance. He and I have been in marriage counseling for a long time now, with little progress. Our counselor finally told him that things would certainly be speeded up were he to quit smoking pot every day. It wasn't until I saw how angry he got that I even realized that his pot smoking has effected every aspect of our family life. It's been the elephant in the room for many years and I am in total shock this week.

What's it going to take for him to realize that he has a problem? He smokes every day. It effects his work, our sex life, our social life, and our family life. It doesn't help that I have been unable to find any reliable information that says marijuanna is an addictive substance with terrible mental effects.

I have not spoken of this problem to anyone in my family - have been keeping it a secret (even from myself) for years, but feel like I really could use some support from them now.

Is it normal for him to feel this is not a problem? Will Narc-anon help me to deal with the elephant in the room? Marijuanna Anonymous just doesn't have a meeting in my area I can get to.

So here I am - what do I do??

lulu70

Your husband is wrong. Marijuana is an addictive substance. I know, because I was addicted. All those old studies which say it is not were done back when pot wasn't nearly as potent as it is now. Do some more research. My therapist found information about it for me, because I was trying to say the same thing you husband is. Besides it being physically addictive, it is extremely psychologically addictive. That can almost be worse. It is hard for people to see how much damage the drug is doing in their lives because the consequences can be so subtle. I think Nar-anon would be a great option for you.

Best of luck.

Hugs--

skunkape

JWC,

Your message hit home for me. For years I told myself that Cannabis was a benign substance and that I could function with it. I actually lived the lie that so many people including NORML and the pro-pot lobby try to drill into peoples heads. It's not true. The research on Marijuana is limited in this country because of our laws, but that hasn't stopped the Australians from revealing the awful truth and they should be commended for it. I have been compiling a list of research on the negative effects and I will list some for you to review. I know how hard it is to find reliable information on the internet with all the Pro-marijuana propaganda out there:

Here are the reasons I tell myself everyday for quitting:

1) Lung Cancer/ Unfiltered marijauna smoke is 10 times more damaging
2) Long-term Memory and Cognitive damage
3) Financial Burdens (unless you grow) then
4) Social/Psychological Changes/Increased risk of Schizophrenia
5) Felony Jail Time
6) Ruined family relationships

There is no such thing as a functional marijuana addict. They may be able to hold down jobs and hide their use, but the drug ******* emotional and spiritual growth. Here are some links of research that really hit home for me.

The hippocampus is a crucial part of the brain that allows a person to form memories, marijuana destroys neurons here, possibly for good.

http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/lif...he+Hippocampus

This is NIDA's summary of the damage Cannabis causes to the brain. It is scary for me to read as a former user because I used to deny vehemntly that any of this was true. I was truly in denial.

http://www.nida.nih.gov/ResearchRepo...arijuana3.html

This is perhaps the scariest study I read about. Linking marijuana as deffinitively causing Schizophrenia later in life. I shudder to think about what I've done to my body.

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/pot/a/blacer040615.htm

Marijuana can cause users to become paranoid, suspicious and very very very anti-social, especially daily addicted users like me. These psychotic symptoms are being studied by Yale.

Another thing to be noted here if I may. People say that Marijuana has no withdrawl syndrome. This is totally untrue, IT DOES have a withdrawl syndrome, it is just on a longer timeframe. The half-life for delta-9-THC is 5-7 days, and THC stays in the lipid(fat) tissues the whole time, so it could possible take months to fully detox from the drug. This has been the most difficult obstacle in my recovery, as I feel so burnt out for so long after using pot, and it feels like it'll never go away.

Your husband is in denial as I was for years. I hit rock bottom years ago, relapsed, hit rock bottom again, tried to quit on my own, relapsed, hit rock bottom again, and finally about two weeks ago I walked into my first NA meeting and I really feel like I can do it this time. I'm trying so hard to once and for all rid myself of this "harmless", "unaddictive", "safe" substance.

Chris

Chy

www.ma.org

Sherry Lassie

I have found that hard drug users do not consider marijuana as an addictive drug because it is so mild comparatively speaking. It is the same thing whiskey drinkers would say about beer drinkers. Compared to meth, heroin, and cocaine, pot is not as strong and the least destructive. Compared to whiskey, bourban, and vodka, light beer is not as strong and the least destructive. However, it doesn't mean that someone could not have a problem with pot or beer. We are different that way. Just look around all of us here. Some people can have social drinks or joints. Some people abuse same.

Just my opinion, for what it's worth.

Sherry Lassie

skunkape

It may be the least destructive to the user. For the family members, the community in general it is a different story. There are far more Marijuana users than Heroin or Cocaine users by comparison, so the effect is multiplied even more.

Some people preach about pot being harmless as the Gospel truth, I used to be one of them. It's true that it has beneficial effects, but so does morphine and codeine. The physical withdrawl may not be as bad, but the psychological withdrawl is one of the most agonizing things I have ever experienced in my life and has to be on par with alcoholism at least.

Don S

It doesn't really matter whether marijuana is physically or physiologically addictive. For every study someone posts here, there are others to dispute them, and he won't see the dire consequences described above as being plausible. I don't think that the point you're trying to make to him is about the science of cannabis. His anger, his behavior, and the steady toll it's taking on your family are the issues.

The point is that he clearly has a compulsive behavior that he has trouble controlling, and that it is affecting his work, your sex life, his family, and your social life. Any compulsive behavior can be considered an addiction if it has become harmful and uncontrollable.

I would question (speaking from considerable experience with both pot and alcohol in this regard) why he wants to alter his mind every day. Dealing with what he's deferring by smoking pot may lead to more anger, anxiety, frustration, etc.

You might suggest that you and your family would find it beneficial if he would quit smoking pot for 30 days. If it isn't physically addictive, that shouldn't be a problem (he won't need to do a supervised detox, for example). Then he can see if the things he feels he 'needs' it for can be dealt with some other way, and you all can see if the benefits of his abstinence are helpful to your communication and emotional health.

If he finds the urges difficult, there are recovery groups that can help with those. AA's parallel organizations such as NA, or SMART Recovery (a behavioral approach to compulsive substance abuse) can give him pointers for dealing with urges.

Don S

Don S

ps--Chy, I don't think the Marin Academy was what you were trying to link to!
Don

Richie

I smoked heavily for thirty some years before coming to my senses about my addiction.When I stopped,the withdrawal was worse than I could have imagined.Anyone that says pot is not addicting is only fooling themselves.Good Luck!

Guilty Spark

I have very little respect for pot compared to the 'hard drugs' like meth, coke, heroin, alcohol. I have a little more respect for these hard drugs because they're a bit more honest and less sneaky than pot. They ruin lives...and everyone knows that. However, there's a certain dishonest belief permeating quit a few cultures that marijuana doesn't ruin lives. It does, it just does so more slowly and with much more patience than most drugs.

At best, it's simply a waste of time and money (unless you've got glaucoma or cancer...) and the questions still beg; what's the point? To relax? Why can't I relax without it? To have fun? Why can't I have fun without it? Why must I rely on an outside substance for my peace of mind?

At its worse (which is my case - for I am truly a fiend), its more dangerous than imaginable. It's a gateway drug that will (and has) caused relapse more times than not. I have been able to excuse marijuana use as being natural (it's the 'herb', grown from the Earth, and all that...) or that it's not as destructive as the 'hard stuff' - as though I was actually insane for not using it. It would seem, being in this state of mind, that everyone else agrees with me. And how many people do I know that can smoke weed socially? Though as a gateway drug, this is the single most dangerous frame of mind for me to be in. For one thing, I've never been able to stick to just pot for pot and beer go together like peanut butter and jelly to me and once I'm drunk enough, I'll do any drug that's offered.

Even ignoring the fact that it's a gateway drug, it's still dangerous in its own right - especially for a fiend like me. I can't count how many times I've destroyed mine or someone else's property waiting for a simple bag of marijuana, that need to exit my own mind being so overwhelming! And then when I got that bag, I smoked it up so fast that I was left wondering what good it accomplished. I destroyed property waiting for a bag. Said hurtful things to people that loved me waiting for a bag. I've lost jobs as a result of marijuana. I've ripped off friends in the pursuit of a bag. And then when the bag's done, I'm always left with that feeling of disbelief, wondering, "what the hell happened?" - like waking up from a nightmare. And throughout all this crap, I can somehow (amazingly!) still make excuses for why I should be able to smoke marijuana responsibly. What's worse is the fact that there are thousands of others making excuses for me. Excuses like how marijuana is 'all-natural', grown from the Earth (which is ********, as even methamphetamines, broken down to their base components are 'natural'), not addictive (which is ******** as well, as anything can become addictive - gambling, sex, etc...), etc.

No, the truth (for me) is that marijuana is the single most destructive force on the face of the planet. It's not my drug of choice - in fact towards the end, I hardly ever smoked weed. However, it is the sneakiest, most patient, most seemingly harmless destructive force to drunks and dope-fiends like myself. The myriad number of addicts (myself most definately included) that have relapsed listening to these excuses, thinking to themselves that it's not as bad as the 'hard-stuff' leads me to believe that this simple herb is addictions most secret, dishonest, sneaky, powerful weapon. If drugs were comparable to the Armed Forces, marijuana would be the recruiting officers - out on the streets, among the people, recruiting members.

That's why I respect the 'hard stuff' a little more than pot. The sheer force of lies and misdirection used in marijuana use among addicts is a frightening thing.



Um...yeah...I've ranted waaayyyy too much and I apologize. I don't know if any of this helps you, jwc123, I've probably got more in common with your husband. I know my mom relapsed after being 12 years clean a year ago, the difference being I don't live her. The only thing I could recommend is Al-Anon. I know for me, it took a miracle (or, an act of God, if you will) to get clean - a miracle that belies any outside influence. I try not to believe in miracles but it's hard when I can't pin-point any one thing that someone said to me nor any one thing I've done that has contributed to my sticking around 12-step meetings - which is, most definately the one thing that led to my staying clean. It's more of a collection of things that led me to finally deciding to stick around NA meetings no matter what - a collection of things which can only be explained as a gift from God.

Chy

ooooops! Good catch Don.
http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/