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Day 1 and I am I don't know if I can do it!

Old 07-10-2017, 01:40 PM
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Day 1 and I am I don't know if I can do it!

So, I am a functioning alcoholic. I work full-time, raise kids, cook dinners, clean (sort of) etc. The thing is, I drink beer or wine from the very second I get home for work until I pass out. Every single day. On Saturdays and Sundays I start early. It's gotten to the point that I get depressed and agitated if I try not to drink. So I give in and am instantly happy again.

This only started in my 40's. With my kids being older and more self-sufficient I stated to enjoy a glass of wine or 2 in the evening. And then several. And then a bottle. And then beer and wine and it was constant. I used to love to read, go places with my kids, visit friends and family, etc. but now I don't want to do anything but the absolute necessary and drink. And sleep.

This was scheduled to be my day 1 of no drinking but I got a text from my adult daughter who lives with me, saying she has had a hard day and plans to drink. (Just an FYI.) So now I am riddled with anxiety because I will be tempted by it and super agitated that someone is drinking in front of me.

Any advice? Thank you so much.
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:45 PM
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Don't drink! Put this as your first test. You have already decided you need to stop. You can be there for your daughter without alcohol. Pick up a nice soft drink and pour over ice instead. You will be a better Mum without it. Getting up tomorrow you will feel a lot better too and will be able to cope with the day better. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Hope you make the right choice X
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:49 PM
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Welcome to SR, Dina. So very glad that you found us. You will find an abundance of support, understanding and encouragement here.

If you want today to be Day 1, simply say that you are feeling unwell and go to bed. The sooner Day 1 occurs, the better

You could take your internet device with you, shut your door and read around the forum. There is a wealth of information here. Be sure to read the Stickies at the top of the Newcomer's, Daily Newcomer's Support, and Alcoholism forums.

You may want to consider joining an SR Class where you can interact with others who are in the same stage of recovery (beginning).

I'll post a link to the Class of July 2017 and a couple of other thread in a moment.

So glad that you are here, Dina.
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:50 PM
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Link to the Class of Julu 2017.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:51 PM
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You may also want to stop in to the 24 Hour Rexovery Connection thread to make a daily commitment to sobriety.

Here is the link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...=Hour+Recovery
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:56 PM
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A plan for sobriety and recovery can be very, very helpful. Here are links to a couple of threads on that subject:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=Psst
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Old 07-10-2017, 01:59 PM
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The other:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...=Recovery+plan
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Old 07-10-2017, 02:03 PM
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Hi DinaA and welcome to SR!
I don't know how qualified I am to give advice but what I can tell you is that I did EXACTLY the same as you for years. Drink every night until passed out and start as early as I possible could on weekends. It was what I did for so long I had absolutely zero confidence in my ability to get and stay sober. So I started "trying"....... read into that that I went from daily drinking to short periods of sobriety and massive binges in between. The addiction and its affect on my health progressed even faster during this period and I simply had to stop. For good. Total acceptance that this was forever.
Still early days for me (hopefully I'll hit 3 months next week) but with hand on heart I can tell you that YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
Please lean on this site as much as you need to. I have literally been hand-held through difficult days from some wonderful people here.
Make that commitment and vow to yourself that you will get to bed sober tonight no matter what!!!!
I wish you all the best you won't regret this xxx
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Old 07-10-2017, 02:18 PM
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I agree ..
Maybe early bed tonight.
Some "you" alone time.

Did you tell your daughter that you are quitting?
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Old 07-10-2017, 03:15 PM
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Hi DinaA,

Welcome to the forum. You will find a lot here to help you. I am pretty new here, but your post spoke to me.

I was the same: work a pretty demanding job. Divorced dad of five (and I have them at least half the time) and I run my life. People think I am super dad. If they only knew...

Lots of things I don't do anymore... friends, hobbies, outdoors stuff. Just so I could plan on being home alone smashed. No one has any idea I am in this space in my life. I realized it last year, and I quit while recovering from a hip replacement in January. Picked it right back up in February... quit May 2 and lasted 32 days, through all of the awful sleep, moodiness, headaches. To a point where I started to feel good. SO what did I do? Had a drink. In two weeks, I was back to a bottle on weekend days (vodka) and a pint on weekdays. Like I never stopped.

I was so ashamed... still am. I am back to quitting. Day 6 again. I do not want to live through drinking and quitting again. I have to hold fast. This weekend was hard, but I stayed OK.

First order of business for me is to get a solid plan to stay quit. it is all I see on here - "Go thee hence and formulate plan!!!" I know I need to because it ain't a matter of if... it's a matter of when I get too sorely tempted... and I want to make sure I say no.

You can do this. We can do this.
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Old 07-10-2017, 03:25 PM
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Tonight will be your first test of your resolve. Do you want to be sober more than you want to drink?

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.
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Old 07-10-2017, 03:31 PM
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Hi DinaA, I'm in the same boat sort of. I came in from work yesterday and the first thing my mum said to me was "there's plenty of vodka in the house". It may sound selfish but you have to think of yourself and that you're trying to become a better person. There's no positives to drinking alcohol, I hope you managed to withstand the urges.
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Old 07-10-2017, 03:35 PM
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DinaA, day 7 years here, you can do it, we are all rootin for ya.
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Old 07-10-2017, 04:21 PM
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Hi Dina,

Like you, I was a normal drinker (in the beginning). I had a stressful and demanding job, worked-out 5-6 days a week, ran on the weekends, took wonderful trips and enjoyed great friendships. Soon I went from drinking beer, to a few glasses of wine after work. Before long, I was drinking an entire bottle of wine and when it wasn't enough, I had a few more beers. Fast forward a few years and I had graduated to hard liquor: Gin, Vodka, Scotch... The more my alcoholism progressed, the more consequences followed: divorce, DUI, loss of relationships, walked away from great jobs...

If I can do this, you can Dina! There's a lot of information and support here on SR and the wisdom from folks here is invaluable.

Wishing you success in your recovery journey.

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Old 07-10-2017, 05:47 PM
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Welcome Dina

Maybe you can explain to your daughter that you're not drinking (with as much detail as you think is appropriate) ?

D
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Old 07-10-2017, 06:02 PM
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Hi Dina! Great to have you with us.

I know exactly what you mean. Alcohol ends up making our world very small. I always knew I didn't drink like others, but never imagined I'd wind up drinking all day. At the end of my drinking career I'd feel so shaky and sick after work - & a drink would calm me down. Little did I know what a dangerous & life-threatening habit I had developed. It was very hard to quit by the time I realized what my reckless behavior was costing me. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to your life.
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Old 07-10-2017, 06:08 PM
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I was in EXACTLY the same routine as you 18 months ago. The first day is the hardest, so the quicker you get it over with, the better each day will be. I also found it crucial to be honest with those close to me; I have an adult daughter as well and she is very supportive. Read all the stickies and formulate a plan. You are here and you can do this 👍
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Old 07-10-2017, 06:32 PM
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Dina,

Welcome. So glad you are here. It's a wonderful place, with all kinds of wise, experienced people, who can help you stop drinking and get back the real, healthier, stronger YOU.

I can totally relate to your post. I was the same. I didn't start drinking heavily till my late 40s, when my kids were older. It started with a glass of wine, then moved to two, then a whole bottle, every night, day after day. All my talents, joys, hobbies and projects fell by the wayside, with only room left for the bare minimum of getting work done, keeping the household running, but then finding a way to buy wine, drink wine, hide wine, recover from wine. There wasn't room for anything else. I felt my life shrinking. My looks deteriorating. My energy and joy in life dissipating. I hid the extent of my drinking pretty well, from my friends, husband and kids. But I was growing more miserable by the day.

I am now over six weeks free of drinking, and I feel incredibly hopeful, stronger and healthier. Read around here and you'll find many stories that resonate with you. Here's a link to my introductory story if you want to take a look: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rate-stop.html

We are here for you! You sound ready to stop, for yourself, for your family, for a better life. We understand. You can do it!
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:37 AM
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You can do it! We're all capable of a lot more than we realize.
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Old 07-11-2017, 09:42 AM
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Thank you all for the support!! I totally drank a 6 pack of Summer Shandy last night. BUT that's light compared to my norm. And I told my adult daughter that she can't have it around for my sake. I suspect this might cause problems as I see the same issues developing in her.

Do here I go again with Day 1. I plan on making a quick dinner and then laying down with a book and telling everyone to leave me alone.
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