Ominous Warnings
 

So, in thinking of things to write about, I decided I would start reading the Big Book and really make sense of it as much as I can, in part by posting about anything that jumps out at me. The last time I "read it", I basically blew through it as fast as I could, thinking that digesting it quickly would lead me to sustained sobriety quicker. Unfortunately, I learned that it doesn't work that way :)

Anyway, I am reading Bill's Story right now and was immediately moved by the "ominous warning" he ignored before he started his heavy drinking. There have been lots of those in my life. I grew up without my biological father because he was an abusive alcoholic and my mother could not stay married to him. When I was about ten years old, I decided I wanted nothing to do with him, because being around him made me feel uneasy and anxious. I sometimes wonder if that was my radar picking up on his alcoholic vibes. I learned last year that he died of cirrhosis of the liver, and that my half-brother did the same thing a year later. I don't think the Universe could be giving me a more ominous warning than that.

All of it is a good reminder, and one that I need to keep on reminding myself to think about. I, like a lot of folks with this problem, have a tendency to forget the bad stuff.

-Adam

Well, I know that the level of denial as part of alcoholism is huge. Looking back, I can't believe how I tried to convince myself I was doing alright.

I am very taken by the term, "ominous warnings," VDGS.
They are, indeed.
Thanks for posting.

Thanks for sharing Adam 💜 Wishing you well on your recovery journey x

I think my past predisposed me to alcoholism.. but understanding that isn't necessary for my recovery from alcoholism. No matter how much I work through my other issues, I believe I will always be an alcoholic. I could heal every other wound I have, but I still can't fix my addiction by fixing other stuff. "The Beast" as some people call it, will always be able to find our insecurities and find it's way in, that's what it does.

It's good that when we quit drinking, buried pain comes to the surface, we don't want to die holding that all inside.. but it can also send you running straight back to drinking!

I'm glad you're heeding these warnings. :)