Partner of recovering addict
 

My wife is in recovery from alcohol addiction. Can you ever regain broken trust including emotional and physical infidelity (on a couple of occasions - one nighters when extremely intoxicated - is this an excuse?)? The journey has meant fear, insecurity and jealousness fro me. There has been no intimacy for a while and spearate beds are the sleeping arrangement. We have young children and this is making things difficult. With the heavy commitment of AA meetings at night she needs someone to be at home (me). I really want her to recover from her addiction for her and the childrens sake. I do feel though at the moment I just assisting her "one day at time" 12 step recovery and when she has found a better place I will be discarded. Is this selfish?

Help?

Hi.
That's a lot you have going on. I would like to think that once she's really stopped, one day at a time, seeing you have supported her and have her another chance (or 2?) after infidelity...that she'll count her lucky stars and hang onto you tightly with much gratitude. You have really shown her grace.
That said? No guarantees.
If she does move on? Then IMO, you certainly deserve better. You are seemingly giving it your all.
The kids will grow and go off to school...perhaps then she can make meetings during this time. Can you ask family to help with the children?
I hope it works out for you both.
GL,
Jules

Thanks Jules

Alas family support is zero so the no guarantees and for how long I guess...

What you're feeling seems pretty common for someone in this situation. There is a Friends and Family forum here that I've found to be really helpful.