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I'm Done

Old 07-07-2017, 06:40 PM
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I'm Done

3 days sober and my body aches.

I'm done. Let's just say I've tried almost every drug there is, but alcohol was always my drug of choice. But I will say it again I'm done.

Went on a 2 handle, 1 12 pack, bender over the 4th of July weekend. I didn't eat all weekend. And was rewarded with an ER visit. My blood pressure had risen to a level that no one there had every seen. I don't want to die, but I am killing myself.

I've drank heavily and done drugs since high school. (Total of about 18 years.) I would go through spurts where I would cut back, and I once quit totally for 6 months once.

Lately this is what I have digressed to...a mix of beer and shots totaling 8 mon - thurs. Come Friday it was on, would drink a handle from Friday night till early Sunday morning. Would not eat during this time. By doing this, often alone, I pushed away all my friends.

Sunday evening I would only drink a few beers. This caused me to never be able sleep Sunday and going into work looking like a mess. Good news, I still have my job.

Just hoping the withdrawal is over soon!

Wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks.
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Old 07-07-2017, 06:52 PM
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welcome, Free.

good feeling, knowing you're done!
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:01 PM
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Hi Free!!!

Welcome. Read around and educate yourself. Learn about things like AV, HALT and most importantly, a plan.

Participate as much as you need.

We are here to support you.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:06 PM
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Thanks for the support. I've spent most the evening reading this site. Seems like a great support group.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:11 PM
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Welcome to SR

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Old 07-07-2017, 07:12 PM
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Congrats on day 3.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:13 PM
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Welcome to the family. Physical w/d from alcohol usually lasts approximately 3 to 5 days so you're probably thru the worst of it, tho I will suggest if you feel badly at any time, see your doctor or go to the ER. Alcohol w/d can be serious.

I would suggest you bolster your resolve by joining the Class of July thread on Newcomers forum. All you do to join is post there for support among others quitting alcohol/drugs this month. We have another thread on Daily Support forum called the 24 hour recovery connection, where you post daily to recommit to your sobriety.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-267-a.html
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:25 PM
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Crip,

Imo...

If you are serious about quitting you have already won half the battle.

If you can't stay clean using SR, don't hesitate to get help via AA erc, and or a Dr.

Thanks.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:28 PM
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I was completely honest with the Dr at the ER. So he knew I was going through withdrawal and gave me a shot of Ativan. (Plus I was shaking and sweating profusely.)

When he wrote the bp perscription he also wrote me a prescription for 3 Ativan, it's gotten me through the hardest times. I have one more for tomorrow if I'm still in pain. (Not sure if this discounts my soberity??). Just being honest.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:29 PM
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How are you feeling? Did they give you anything at the ER to help you?

Welcome to SR. Keep reading and posting. Learning about what you're up against and how others have dealt with situations is very helpful and therapeutic.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:33 PM
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Oh, you answered my question!
I don't think Ativan discounts your sobriety - you've earned those days!
If you have a primary care Dr., they may be able to give you some more Rx and help you along. Mine was very encouraging and had me come back frequently the first few months. Just knowing that someone cared also encouraged me.
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:47 PM
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Crip,

I didn't take meds to start my soberiety, I suffered a living hell for about a month.

I have ptsd from it for sure. It keeps me sober. I never want that hell again.

Imo...I think meds can compromise recovery.

1. They make it so easy folks think going back to the bottle is ok.

2. Folks get addicted to the meds (anti depression).

3. They discover the buzz of meds and booze together and speed up the death spiral.

Imo...the main thing is clean time.

After 2 years, w the education I have about addiction, I will never pour booze down my throat again.

Thanks.
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Old 07-07-2017, 09:00 PM
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You can quit just about every other drug aside from alcohol (and I think PCP) cold turkey and *feel like you are dying...but withdrawl from alcohol can actually kill you.
The meds help with the anxiety and to stave off seizures. You should definitely detox with medical supervision and take the meds as your doc prescribed.
They don't effect your sobriety so long as you don't abuse them. They were prescribed for medical intervention.
GL in the coming days!
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Old 07-07-2017, 09:25 PM
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Sounds like divine-intervention to me!

I'm glad you went to the ER and are still around to talk about it..

I understand having some meds to help with your detox but please be very careful, benzos are addictive and kill a lot of people too..

Wishing you the best!! Kudos on 3 days..
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Old 07-07-2017, 10:21 PM
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Welcome to SR, you will find lots of support on this site. I'm glad you were honest with the doctor in the ER. If you are still struggling don't hesitate to follow up with your regular doctor.

Looking forward to seeing you on SR.
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Old 07-07-2017, 11:07 PM
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You are lucky to make it out alive. Keep in mind if you drink again, you might not be so successful. Stay sober my friend!
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Old 07-07-2017, 11:13 PM
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Hi Cripp, welcome to SR, I'm so pleased you found us.
Remember, baby steps, one hour, one day at a time.
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Old 07-08-2017, 04:40 AM
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How are you CBF? Addiction to booze sucks. Mnay in 'the rooms' call it 'the diesease'. I go to AA meetings 3-5 times weekly btw and am not dissing..

BUT alco...ism effects physical and mental. You of course have to heal physically first- then the brain kicks in. Whilst dealing with both. See your doc, go to meetings- get a counsellor I suggest.
Support to you.
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:03 AM
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hope you check in bud. You doing ok?
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:04 PM
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As day 4 comes to a close, I made it.

It was a real up and down day. The only time I felt physically bad was after I ate breakfast. Ate well the rest of the day. The hard part is hydration, I'm drinking a lot of water and Gatorade but can't stay hydrated.

Spelt well last night (probably due to the Ativan) with no night sweats. The weird part is if I exert energy for more than a few minutes I start sweating profusely. Is this normal?

The hardest part is the anxiety and depression that comes in waves. It feels like I've been hit with a truck and I'm wearing a thousand pounds of rocks. I had some of the lowest feelings in my life today.

No more Ativan. The rest is on me. Hope I sleep tonight.

On to day 5 then the work week. I can do this.
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