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WEEKENDER thread, no waking up to shame or embarrassment 7-9 July

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WEEKENDER thread, no waking up to shame or embarrassment 7-9 July

Old 07-06-2017, 02:37 AM
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saoutchik
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WEEKENDER thread, no waking up to shame or embarrassment 7-9 July

Here is a an inconvenient truth, not everyone gets wasted. It is not just teetotallers, we all have friends or acquaintances who drink, maybe even to the point of getting a buzz on but they make it home just fine and without the involvement of any of the emergency services.

They remember what they did the night before and importantly they remember what you did too.

If that wasn't concerning enough the last few years have seen the huge growth of social media platforms giving as the potential to embarrass or humiliate ourselves in front of everyone we know from the comfort of our own homes.

Being late middle aged I do not have any WhatsApp or Instagram disasters on my drinking resume but I have suffered the very analogue shame of throwing a glass in the street, falling into a culvert in front of one of my then teenage daughter and her friends and urinating on a girlfriends parents VCR (remember them?)

Waking up with that unease or dread of things that you cannot remember is the fate of the heavy drinker or user and it is mortifyng. Mostly it is limited to embarrassment but it can be much worse, in this regard FlyNBy posted a link in the Alcoholism forum that went way beyond embarrassment (which gave me the idea for this OP so thank you FlyNBuy)

If we stay clean/sober it is one less thing to have to worry about and besides I really resent having to apologise to people.

Let's have a grrrreat weekend.


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Old 07-06-2017, 02:39 AM
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Shotgun?
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:42 AM
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Vice shotgun?))
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:46 AM
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Speaker of the House shotgun?

Sobering introduction, Sao (no pun intended).

Would you mind posting FlyNBuy's link if you get a chance?
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:50 AM
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Now that I've actually taken the time to read it,

great weekender theme, saou!

Can definitely relate.
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:54 AM
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Thanks, Saoutchik!
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:54 AM
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Great OP Mr Sao!

I am happy to report that I have not embarrassed myself in public for rather a long time. I do not miss that feeling of intense shame and self hatred on wakening, when I was flooded with memories of my behaviour the night before, a feeling that lasted all day, only to be masked with the "hair of the dog".

I hope everyone is keeping well.

B
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Old 07-06-2017, 03:01 AM
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Thanks Sao

Hiya Behan - long time no see

D
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Old 07-06-2017, 03:07 AM
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I'm right there with you.....for a while I found it amusing when people would tell me "You were so funny last night!" ~ then that turned into "Do you remember what you said to me last night?" or "How are YOU feeling today?" with that 'look' from others at the bar like Really? You're back here again?

Yeah, and the social media thing. I'm over that too.

Great thread! Thanks again
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Old 07-06-2017, 03:07 AM
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Greetings Dee - I hope you are keeping well!
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Old 07-06-2017, 03:33 AM
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Thanks Sao, waking up with no memory of the evening before was the worst. Even more so because having not gone out anywhere it was a simple domestic evening. I didn't know how I got to bed never mind how the kids got to bed or if I left the dog out or what I said to anybody. I was never much of a social media butterfly so lucky on that front I suppose. But I'm sure if I asked around I'd get a story or two about my poor behavior.
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:03 AM
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Thank you for the opener, Sao!

I was a closet drinker, so in most cases I was the only witness of my shame.

At some moment I couldn't stand my reflection in the mirror.

That was the worst regret because there was no way to hide from this person.
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:05 AM
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Congratulations on shotgun Lunar.

Towards the end of my drinking "career" I drank at home alone so I was mostly at risk of drunken phonecalls or emails.
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:08 AM
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Amen to that.
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Old 07-06-2017, 06:19 AM
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Giving up is NOT an option.
 
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I'm in!
One of the best things about being sober is knowing that if I've done something stupid, it's my own fault - and I can fix it right away and apologize sincerely. I hated not knowing if I had said something rude, or hurt someone's feelings, or made a scene of some sort in a blackout. Not to mention what I might have posted on facebook. Luckily - I was pretty good about staying off facebook when drinking. If I posted, it was usually just something silly, and not really embarrassing. Waking up knowing what I did and said the night before is so nice.
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Old 07-06-2017, 06:50 AM
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Thanks, Sao! I am in for an embarrassment-free weekend.
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Old 07-06-2017, 08:10 AM
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Thanks Sao for a thought provoking opener. I'm in.

I can't say that I ever did drunken facebook posts. I almost never checked facebook back then. Maybe a goofy email. Or a phone call in which I spoke a little too carefully so that I wouldn't slur my words. I may not have slurred but i certainly would repeat myself and talk louder.

Ugh. Those things are best left in the past. I don't have to live that way anymore. By choice.
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Old 07-06-2017, 08:16 AM
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Thanks for the topic, Sao. It's nice heading into another weekend so soon, due to the short week here in the US.

The "consolation prize" of the pathetic existence of the solitary drinker that I used to be was that I never had to worry about making a fool of myself in front of people or offending someone around me...there simply was nobody around to offend or to embarrass myself.

On the other hand, given how self-conscious I am, I think I may have possibly quit sooner, or the problem may not have even escalated as far as it did, if there were people around to confront me when my antics got out of hand. But who knows how many bridges I may have burned in the meantime?

So the only conclusion I could reach is that drinking is just a lose/lose proposition for me, which is why I got help and am done with it.
I suspect the same holds true for many others.
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Old 07-06-2017, 08:29 AM
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Giving up is NOT an option.
 
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Yep, DesertDawg - It was definitely lose/lose for me. For the last several years I was drinking, not one good thing came from putting alcohol into my body.
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Old 07-06-2017, 09:31 AM
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IN!

Great theme!
Originally Posted by saoutchik View Post
urinating on a girlfriends parents VCR (remember them?)
I don't believe I've ever met your girlfriend's parents.
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