Serper2014

I've been trying to stay sober for awhile. Each time I try I strengthen my plan and commitment, but each failure makes me think what else could I possibly add? How can I be more than 100% committed and still fail? It takes a lot out of me, but I'm going to keep trying. I can go a long time without alcohol (up to 80 days) as long as I keep smoking and drinking too many coffees and taking sleeping pills to sleep. 80 days is a breeze... but as soon as I pull away the crutches I end up getting to a tipping point and I go back and drink. I could go a year without a drink as long as I have my other crutches. But thats not what I want... because Im still a slave to other substances... I dont want to be a slave any more. So I quit drinking two weeks ago, it's been easy. I pulled the sleeping pills a few days ago and I felt fine... and tonight I want to quit smoking and caffeine... I know Ill go through some energy imbalances... and maybe that will stress me out, but I'm just looking for suggestions to get through that breaking point which will probably be in a few days (nicotine and caffeine withdrawal generally peak at 48-72 hours... ) any suggestions to get through that period... my main trigger is stress.... and it's like stress goes through my system first goes to the alcohol center (which is very small now) and notices im not drunk so goes to the nicotine center (which is large now)... if there is nicotine in the system it's satisfied, but if there is no nicotine it goes back to the alcohol center and presses really hard and I snap. I'm quitting tonight and just needed advice from people that quit drinking and another crutch drug and how to get through that.

Dee74

Hi serper - genuine question:

do you think you can be 100% and still drink?

D

Serper2014

No, the better term would have been perceived 100% -- meaning at the time I thought it was 100, but it wasn't

KES06

Hey,Surper
Maybe you should focus on slaying one beast at a time if giving them all up at once may be the cause of you relapsing? Time is your friend,now. Just a thought some may disagree with.

Dee74

Yeah I wasn't trying to annoy you.

What I was getting at is sobriety is available for all of us and any of us - if we're prepared to make different choices, make changes and out in the effort.

I had to be prepared to leave the drinking I defined myself by behind, and find a new definition of me thats didn't include drinking or drugging, and each and every time I wanted to drink or drug I had to be prepared instead to reach out and ask for help.

If stress is one of your crisis points, and your only real solution is getting drunk or high you really need to start working on some other ways to handle that stress now.

I know it's not a very warm and cuddly answer but sometimes the only way is through - it's a little short term pain for some long term gain.

D

Steely

I hope you're not prepping yourself to fail. Self fulfilled prophecy sort of thing?

You've taken on a lot, and there isno way around it but through it.

Distraction helps. Remembering what it was like, too. Reaching that point where you know that drinking will (really) only make it worse.

You may well succeed, and hope you do, but please don't set too huge demands on yourself, slow and steady wins the race.

Gottalife

I would think 100% committed to not drinking seems a reasonable position. After all you lasted 80 days which is good going. But it all fell over when you took way the other mind altering chemicals. The fact that you were using those to not drink suggests a less than100% commitment to sobriety.

You could possibly add the AA program. A spiritual approach to the problem instead of a chemical one.

nmd

Hi serper, glad to see you back!

I spent a couple years in the quitting relapsing cycle. Relapse is very tiring and demoralizing and i'm sorry your been going through that, but its worth the fight to get sober.

In the end I found I was clinging on ideas and parts of my life that led me back to relapse every time. Taking actions to literally get rid of those things helped me a lot. In my case it was throwing out a lot of drinking "memorialbilia", giving away homebrew books, turning a bunch of wine into vinegar and ripping out some hops vines. None of these things ever caused me to relapse (I would go and buy beer at the store) but taking the symbolic action of cleaning house gave me a sense of commitment. I think we all to some extent clasp on to some idea of a perfect life which includes drinking (euphoric recall). It doesnt. My ideal life is now, sober.

I had crutches to get sober as well, but I guess my point is they weren't the reason I would relapse.

Wishing you well!