Some thoughts for the newly sober
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
Some thoughts for the newly sober
As I look back over the past few years of a sober life, I thought it appropriate to share these thoughts on Independence Day to celebrate my own ongoing independence from abuse of alcohol and prescription drugs, and maybe it can help someone else, too.
1. It's ok if 12 step doesn't work for you. It's not the only way to skin a cat (although as an animal lover I never would).
2. Get a hobby. You're going to have a lot of time on your hands that you used to spend drinking or abusing drugs. I bought a sailboat and started sailing again, worked on advanced scuba certifications and am now qualified for professional development courses in the diving industry and started kayaking with gusto. Doesn't that sound a lot healthier than sitting around listening to a bunch of other dysfunctional addicts who smoke two packs a day and drink a gallon of coffee?
3. Take charge of your mental health. If you're like 99% of other addicts, you abused alcohol and drugs in a misguided attempt to self-medicate. Address your anxiety/depression/whatever and you won't have a need to self medicate. If you need to take an antidepressant, so what? It's better than polishing off a fifth of vodka or whatever else your poison was.
4. Don't get hung up on righting wrongs and making amends. By all means if you materially harmed someone, i.e. stole from them, make good on that. But don't get hung up on making the rounds trying to apologize for your boorish behavior. You've already lost your credibility with a lot of people and your words are just going to ring hollow. The best way to regain your credibility is not to constantly try and apologize, but to simply stay sober. A lot of people still won't like you, but you will at least have their grudging respect.
5. It's all about time. After a certain point, being sober is not something you have to give much thought to. It just becomes the natural order of things. The second thirty days go faster than the first interminable thirty days, the third thirty days go faster than that, and so on. Soon you will be at six months, then a year, without having really noticed.
1. It's ok if 12 step doesn't work for you. It's not the only way to skin a cat (although as an animal lover I never would).
2. Get a hobby. You're going to have a lot of time on your hands that you used to spend drinking or abusing drugs. I bought a sailboat and started sailing again, worked on advanced scuba certifications and am now qualified for professional development courses in the diving industry and started kayaking with gusto. Doesn't that sound a lot healthier than sitting around listening to a bunch of other dysfunctional addicts who smoke two packs a day and drink a gallon of coffee?
3. Take charge of your mental health. If you're like 99% of other addicts, you abused alcohol and drugs in a misguided attempt to self-medicate. Address your anxiety/depression/whatever and you won't have a need to self medicate. If you need to take an antidepressant, so what? It's better than polishing off a fifth of vodka or whatever else your poison was.
4. Don't get hung up on righting wrongs and making amends. By all means if you materially harmed someone, i.e. stole from them, make good on that. But don't get hung up on making the rounds trying to apologize for your boorish behavior. You've already lost your credibility with a lot of people and your words are just going to ring hollow. The best way to regain your credibility is not to constantly try and apologize, but to simply stay sober. A lot of people still won't like you, but you will at least have their grudging respect.
5. It's all about time. After a certain point, being sober is not something you have to give much thought to. It just becomes the natural order of things. The second thirty days go faster than the first interminable thirty days, the third thirty days go faster than that, and so on. Soon you will be at six months, then a year, without having really noticed.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Great post!!!
I agree with your approach about 12 step. I have gone through them and I am still doing step 9 (Amends) when the time is right. I have 18 months now and think that my actions will give me credibility more so than words. Everyone notices the difference, even the enablers in denial of your drinking. Stay sober, payback those you owe, and help out wherever possible. Good luck everyone and happy sober fourth of July!!!!!
I agree with your approach about 12 step. I have gone through them and I am still doing step 9 (Amends) when the time is right. I have 18 months now and think that my actions will give me credibility more so than words. Everyone notices the difference, even the enablers in denial of your drinking. Stay sober, payback those you owe, and help out wherever possible. Good luck everyone and happy sober fourth of July!!!!!
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