Sober and depressed

Old 07-04-2017, 03:25 AM
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Sober and depressed

Day 10 today. I've taken drinking off the table for good. It's not an option. I have a lot of emotional stress and grief that I havnt dealt with the last few years. I've used wine to numb myself into not feeling. I've been in survival mode. Now alcohol is out of the picture all these pushed down emotions are bubbling to the surface and I just feel overwhelmed with sadness. I've been bursting into tears all day. I'm looking at my life with clear eyes and I don't like what I see. I've got so much work to do...
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Old 07-04-2017, 03:37 AM
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SoberNunn, congrats on day 10!

I numbed my emotions and pain with wine as well. When I quit my emotions were all over the place - severe depression, crying, mood swings.

It's part of the process, be gentle with yourself. Take care of your body and mind, let them heal. Don't overwhelm yourself with improving too many things at a time - yes, there is a lot to improve, but you have your entire sober life now to catch up.

And, though it's not uncommon to compensate alcohol cravings with sugar, be careful with it - sugar contributes A LOT to depression and unstable mood.

Best wishes to you!
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:31 AM
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10 days is awesome.

Some people on here claim they felt great at 10 days, but most of us experienced an emotional roller coaster for a couple of months after giving up the bottle. I sure did, and it was no fun at all. It gets better, though. Trust that it will.

Get to work on your list. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:42 AM
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Yeah my emotions are all over the place too, I go from happy to sad, hopeless to hopeful etc

I think everyone goes through it in early sobriety, hang in there because this too shall pass!
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:52 AM
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Its pretty common to be on a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for a little while SN.

I was crying even when there were things from so long ago there was really nothing to cry for.

It helped me to think of this as my mind and body adjusting to sobriety rather than me having a lot of things to be sad about?

Hang in there - it gets better

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Old 07-04-2017, 05:26 AM
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Yes... my emotions were way out of control.

The good news is ... it was temporary!

Stay hydrated and proper diet is essential to getting better. Comfort foods are a must!
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Old 07-04-2017, 05:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Its pretty common to be on a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for a little while SN.

I was crying even when there were things from so long ago there was really nothing to cry for.

It helped me to think of this as my mind and body adjusting to sobriety rather than me having a lot of things to be sad about?

Hang in there - it gets better

EXACTLY!.....I burst into a sobbing mess for apparently no reason, it's just junk coming up that's been suppressed by the booze.

The lid has come off so to speak.
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Old 07-04-2017, 05:44 AM
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Keep going 10 days is fab! Proud of you. Be day 11 soon 💜
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Old 07-04-2017, 05:51 AM
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Try not to overwhelm yourself and just keep things very simple. Make sure you're eating well, drinking plenty of water and getting rest. Plan some diversions, walks, something on Netflix.....even some small household tasks.

It will get better...or none of us would still be here !
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Old 07-04-2017, 06:09 AM
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I've got so much work to do...
SoberNunn, 10 days is awesome!

Even the smallest, simplest things can feel really overwhelming when you're in early sobriety. Our addiction likes us to think about all these things at the same time because it's a way of roping us back in.

You're doing something so positive right now. Because of this you will eventually get all those things straightened out but for right now focus just on today.
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Old 07-04-2017, 07:05 AM
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Honestly I felt like at that point being sober I was mourning a loss. My life felt strange as if it wasn't my own. I was in a state of crying spells, euphoria, depression etc. My doctor said that my nervous system was healing and that all of that was normal. It is not uncommon and you will feel better. Probably sooner than later. Everyone told me 90 days but it was way sooner for me. I still have recent temptations and like you, drinking is not an option. Your body will level out and you will start feeling less self loathing and more well adjusted. I feel guilty for things I've done in the past and have issues with that but overall I'm at a state of physical wellbeing without the crushing depression and anxiety the first couple weeks of sobriety brought. Hang in there. Again, I'm only a couple months in but I remember feeling like you do at that point.
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Old 07-04-2017, 07:22 AM
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Mood swings are common in early recovery. Stay sober and treat yourself well and it will get better. Congrats on ten days sober!
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Old 07-04-2017, 07:22 AM
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Great advice in this thread! Same for me as well. My first few weeks of sobriety I was an emotional raw nerve. I could barely talk to people without crying. I think for a while, it's just best you don't overthink things until your mind gets used to being sober once again. Eat well and distract yourself however you can. Hope that is of some help!
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Old 07-04-2017, 08:03 AM
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SoberNunn, this is the really hard part, but you can do it. It's a daunting task but, if you hang in there you will be able to deal with the emotions.
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Old 07-04-2017, 08:07 AM
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Sober, is a lack of dopamine that causes the mood swings.

Exercise, posting, AA meetings, adrenaline all help.

The sober muscles flex on days like today, but I play like there is no more day 1's left in me.

This thing is a killer. I am scared of booze. I put on a brave face. I have come to far to ever go back.

Stay clean.
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Old 07-04-2017, 10:35 AM
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10 days in was the 2nd phase of recovery for me in which reality began to set in. The withdrawal period was pretty much what? Look at your plan, if you need to readjust do so! Remember, there's no change without change. The negative feelings are normal...AV is knocking at your door...ignore!!! These thoughts will pass!

You've been through this many times...move past it this time. You're doing really well...JUST keep going! You will be thankful that you did.

Sending you strength!
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Old 07-04-2017, 01:30 PM
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journaling is a good way to get thoughts out of our head and on paper.
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:04 PM
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Thank you everyone, your experiences and insight mean a lot to me. I think it is likely my brain chemistry readjusting but I also think I've got some emotional baggage I havnt dealt with that I will need to. I feel like I've woken up and I'm looking around thinking "how the hell did I end up here?".
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:23 PM
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Hi SoberNunn, You mention both grief and depression. I'm going to assume from what you wrote that you have experienced a significant loss which has contributed to your drinking.

The sort of depression that stems from loss can be its own unique form of depression. It can be addressed by people in the mental health community who specialize in helping those dealing with grief issues. If my assumption is correct, that the depression stems from a major loss, then seeking out help for coping with the grief could help quite a bit.

In any case, the advice here from others regarding the emotional swings that stem from the cessation of alcohol use will also be applicable. I hope you are able to find all the help you need wherever that may be.

Take care
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