Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Anecdata thought: Why did you quit? (are quits successful if not for the Ls?)

Blogs


Notices

Anecdata thought: Why did you quit? (are quits successful if not for the Ls?)

Old 07-03-2017, 12:36 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Anecdata thought: Why did you quit? (are quits successful if not for the Ls?)

I wondering how many people on here, if you'd like to share, quit, quit alone, and quit for the betterment of their health. At many meetings, I've heard it discussed that people don't usually quit unless they are faced with a tragedy or pseudo-tragedy or threatened with one of the three Ls. I know this is my case, for sure, and even after being threatened with life the first time, I relapsed.

Sadly, I was never able to quit just for the "sake" of quitting and getting better or knowing I was going down the wrong road. Sadly, for me (and others, it seems) it took the shock of nearly losing something.

I ask because some of my good friends would like to quit but I can't convince them because they haven't reached the "yet" phase, but are well on their way there, that's for sure.

So, yeah, I'll start. I quit because I was threatened with my life, in the hospital. I nearly died. I've been sober a little over a year. I did have a series of "quit" alone at home without any ill-effects, but I went right back, simply because there didn't seem to be very high stakes associated with it.
notgonnastoptry is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to notgonnastoptry For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-03-2017), D122y (07-03-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), Delizadee (07-03-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), PippoRossi (07-03-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 01:24 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 3,669
Blog Entries: 1
I quit because I started having gastric issues or something.

Anxiety attacks and driving on a highway daily don't mix well.

Good news....since I quit...I am better.

Never pouring poison down my throat again.

Thanks.
D122y is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to D122y For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-03-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), Delizadee (07-03-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 01:29 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
benzenering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 40
Three Ls????
benzenering is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to benzenering For This Useful Post:
Ariesagain (07-03-2017), Carlotta (07-03-2017), Coldfusion (07-03-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), Kachal (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 02:27 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
 
Carlotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,479
There was no traumatic event for me, I was feeling very depressed and suicidal.
It was on my day off, I had almost finished a beer and was getting ready to go get more and it was like something clicked inside me and I thought: I am tired of that crap. I just got rid of what was left of my booze and did not go get more.

Your bottom will only be as deep as you will allow it to be. It stops when you quit digging. For some like my XABF it is 6 feet under

I really wish there was not that myth going around that an alcoholic must reach bottom before they can quit.

For many, being sick and tired of being sick and tired or simply being concerned about their health and their drinking pattern is enough.

Another pet peeve of mine is the myth that relapse is part of recovery!!!

Great thing about SR is that those of us who have been around for a bit don't subscribe to those ideas:

a) You don't need to suffer major trauma, hurt someone or be half dead to quit
b) While relapse happens, it is not part of recovery and definitely not necessary to go through it to achieve long term sobriety.

We were discussing something very similar a while back on another thread and TomSteve pointed out that the new edition of the BB has a section in personal stories about "high bottom" people. Called "they stopped in time"

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bi...ies_partII.pdf

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Last edited by Dee74; 07-03-2017 at 03:18 PM. Reason: copyright
Carlotta is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Carlotta For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-05-2017), ChiefBromden (07-05-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), Delizadee (07-03-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), thomas11 (07-03-2017), tomsteve (07-03-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), Venecia (07-05-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 02:44 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,151
I was not faced with a tragic event or loss ... I looked down the road and could see this was going in a bad direction for my physical and mental health. But I had no job problems, no legal problems, I hardly even had hangovers. My husband thought maybe I was depressed but didn't think I had an alcohol problem.

The funny thing is, the mental processes -- the thoughts that many of us call Addictive voice -- were exactly the same for me as for people who post after quitting from dire consequences (medical detox, jail, family ultimatums, etc). Those same thoughts of, "I could handle it now, just a glass of wine at parties, I'll keep it under control, I'm not really addicted," etc.

So that tells me that addiction starts a long time before the consequences start. It's my opinion that by the time someone starts wondering if they have a drink problem, it's probably too late - they've already crossed that invisible line. And that it's never too early to quit, despite what the addictive voice would have us believe.
tursiops999 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-05-2017), Carlotta (07-03-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), JoeCree (07-04-2017), Karphil (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), Venecia (07-05-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 02:45 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
applewakesup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
I finally figured out what was causing my hangovers!
applewakesup is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to applewakesup For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-03-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), DreamCatcher17 (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 02:53 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
 
Carlotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,479
The funny thing is, the mental processes -- the thoughts that many of us call Addictive voice -- were exactly the same for me as for people who post after quitting from dire consequences (medical detox, jail, family ultimatums, etc). Those same thoughts of, "I could handle it now, just a glass of wine at parties, I'll keep it under control, I'm not really addicted," etc.
Exactly. I just posted on another thread that according to my AV, drinking at 8 am when I had worked overnight was ok because a graveyard worker's 8 am is a regular worker's 6pm.
That's exactly the same kind of screwed up addictive thinking that someone who is "low bottom" would have.
Carlotta is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Carlotta For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (07-05-2017), D122y (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 03:02 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 635
I quit because it was giving me soul crushing depression and panic attacks while driving hungover on the highway. Both conditions disappeared pretty quickly.
Soberween is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Soberween For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-03-2017), D122y (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tonggau (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 03:06 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,558
The final nail in the coffin for me was a freak accident in which I busted up both my legs pretty bad. Required surgery on both legs to put me back together, one year of healing time and physical therapy to learn to walk again.
thomas11 is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-03-2017), D122y (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tonggau (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 03:21 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,419
Blog Entries: 1
The three Ls are, I think, 'liver, lover or the law'

I quit to save my life.

The thing is tho, and what I've tried to share since, is that it's by no means necessary to get to that point before acting.

I see now that I could have quit at many points before I actually did.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Bobbieka (07-05-2017), Carlotta (07-03-2017), D122y (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), sugarbear1 (07-04-2017), thomas11 (07-03-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017), WeaverBird (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 04:08 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Maudcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 6,938
I quit because 1) my husband, who I thought was clueless about my drinking, expressed his concern about the drinking.
And 2) I felt that the drink was controlling me, instead of the other way around.
I just wanted to break that chain.
Maudcat is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Maudcat For This Useful Post:
Bobbieka (07-05-2017), Carlotta (07-04-2017), D122y (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-03-2017), Kachal (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 04:24 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
2/2016
 
HTown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I quit because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. No dire consequences, no true bottom. One of the best things I have ever done. Good luck
HTown is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to HTown For This Useful Post:
applewakesup (07-05-2017), BrendaChenowyth (07-03-2017), Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), JoeCree (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 04:38 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Sick and tired of being sick and tired is a classic.

My most recent "enough is enough" moment was... just really embarrassing and disruptive.. It ties in to being "SICK and tired", I'll leave it at that. So it wasn't a big catastrophe, like a car crash or a death or being thrown in jail or going bankrupt, but it was bad enough to make me go WHAT THE **** ALREADY?!

The big things are the more powerful motivators and tend to push you in to getting help but they don't mean your sobriety is going to last. Whether you are forced to quit or you are just sick of being stuck in the loop, you still have to put in a hell of a lot of work once you quit.
BrendaChenowyth is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to BrendaChenowyth For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 06:46 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
the intro to the second set of stories in the big book


THEY STOPPED IN TIME

We think that about one-half of today's incoming A.A. members were never advanced cases of alcoholism; though, given time, all might have been.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The twelve who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these twelve A.A.'s, and thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 07:04 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
rascalwhiteoak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Blog Entries: 1
Alcohol and I came to an impasse, more like a breakup. It wasn't doing me any favors anymore, and my logical brain finally got the upper hand.
rascalwhiteoak is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to rascalwhiteoak For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Carlygirl (07-05-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), JoeCree (07-04-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), thomas11 (07-03-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 07:15 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
CreativeThinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Blog Entries: 197
I stopped because for the first time in my life, I was beginning to feel that my life was hopeless. I was tired of being sick every day, feeling anxious, irritable or dealing with panic attacks. Something had to CHANGE and I was ready to do the work.
CreativeThinker is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to CreativeThinker For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), JoeCree (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), thomas11 (07-03-2017), tursiops999 (07-03-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 07:37 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 6,855
the people who quit alone won't be responding, as they are not connected to others on a recovery forum.
fini is online now  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to fini For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), tomsteve (07-05-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 08:49 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Originally Posted by fini View Post
the people who quit alone won't be responding, as they are not connected to others on a recovery forum.
Given that more than half of the people who responded did it on their own, I would say that's incorrect.

Anyway, I remember learning in IOP that there are stages and that there is a fork in the road. Those of you who were able to nip it in the bud--I really admire you. Unfortunately, when I was able to stop, I didn't give it much thought because I thought I could stop anytime I needed to stop. Instead, I went all the way to nearly the end.
notgonnastoptry is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to notgonnastoptry For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), starstarstar (07-04-2017), tursiops999 (07-04-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 09:00 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 73
I quit because it was easier than to try to moderate and for the health benefits. I was hoping for mental health benefits but it was not the main reason for quitting. Nothing very dramatic happened, I was functioning and I had no health problems. Work, family life etc intact. But I so hated letting myself down all the time by trying to moderate, then failing, making up some new rules etc. My drinking had slowly increased over the years as well and it was obvious that eventually, I would have to give it up anyway (since moderation clearly wasn't working).
tonggau is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tonggau For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), tursiops999 (07-04-2017)
Old 07-03-2017, 09:03 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 77
Diagnosis of fatty liver disease, no white blood cell count and enlarged red blood cells. Quit for the final time by myself 19 months ago and will never drink again.
Jimmy58 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Jimmy58 For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (07-04-2017), CreativeThinker (07-04-2017), Delilah1 (12-23-2017), HTown (07-04-2017), MidnightRider (07-05-2017), MLD51 (07-05-2017), tursiops999 (07-04-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:39 PM.