Feeling a sense of loss around the holidays
 

Ok I have to admit I am feeling a sense of loss around not drinking to be 100 percent honest.
Tomorrow is the fourth of July and then Thursday is my birthday.
Needless to say lots of drinking went on around those days. Not all ugly days but most of them turned ugly sooner or later.

So I just need to say it be honest and let it go. I don't want to wake up a week from now in despair and a huge hangover from drinking.

I am on day 17 today and will be on day 20 on my birthday.

a sober sixstringnut :headbange

Hi, my dear friend, Six!!! I understand where you are coming from. It's especially hard for folks who like to drink because we typically associate drinking with EVERYTHING (and not just the holidays)! For me, observing people getting drunk while I am sober is always a wake up call. Sort of like, "How did I ever think THAT was fun???"

First sober holiday
 

I'm on Day 21 sober, so this will be my first sober holiday. Holidays (like pretty much every other day) centered around drinking for me, so I'm feeling a sense of loss too. I still have lots of moments when I want to drink, but I'm hanging in there so far. It helps to know that others are feeling the same things and are working through it. I hope that helps you too.

How did the drinking the other 363 days go?

Yep, me too. Still trying to navigate this and holidays are usually where I slip up. I know I don't need alcohol to celebrate, but breaking that mental connection is hard.

I was thinking starting a new fun tradition would be good. Maybe a special dessert I make, or fun virgin frozen drinks. Come up with some kind of game. Something to keep me busy and look forward to instead of just pouting about what I'm "missing out on."

Because in my rational head, I know I'm gaining so much more than I'm losing. But that AV is a spiteful witch when she doesn't get to play!

Thanks Pippo. That is a great reminder. Hope all is well for you.

Never knew if it was going to be a drink or a train wreck. But pretty much always a train wreck.

Thanks doggonecarl :thanks

It IS all going well. Thanks, buddy. :grouphug:

I think the idea of a new fun sober tradition is a great idea...make some new associations with special occassions 👍

This, too, shall pass, six :)

The longer I have been sober, the more I look forward to things. All things. I experience everything on such a real level without alcohol blurring things up.

I feel truly present in my life.

Congrats on your sober days and 20 days will be a great birthday gift to yourself!

:grouphug:

I was like you, Axis, I never knew what to expect. Congratulations on 17 days sober. The holidays often affect us emotionally. The best thing is what you're doing. Stay focused, plan ahead and enjoy your birthday.

My best birthdays have been sober ones.

It's always possible to start new traditions Six :)

D

My opinion? So much of our lives were tied up with sanctioned (and unsanctioned) drinking. Holiday have always been game on drinking times for many.
So it's pretty normal, I think, to feel that sense of loss or something missing from holidays and long weekends.
I will say that this sense diminished over time for me as I achieved more sober time.
Hang in there, Six.

hang in there 6string, this too shall pass.

I still wrestle with holidays, I don't particularly like them. Everyone is socializing and drinking. I'd rather be back to my routine. In fact, tomorrow on the 4th of July I will be going to the gym and cooking/planning my meals for the week. No "celebrating".

.....and today is day 18, celebrate your independence from alcohol!

What helped me when I began to think about the times I used to drink was to not pass go and not collect $200. Instead of reminiscing about the act of drinking I picked a particularly bad aftermath day and focused on that. Not dwell, but think it through.

I close my eyes and meditate about the feelings I used to have when I first woke up the morning after. The pounding head, the churning stomach, the really bad cobwebs. It doesn't take long when you think about that end of the spectrum to get your head back into the right place.

I've never regretted not drinking.

Happy 4th :)

Today marks my 4th sober 4th - now that's really Independence Day. I can go anywhere and do anything. My choices are boundless and not tied to the bondage that was drinking. Boy, I will certainly miss a red, white and blue three day hangover.

Happy Birthday!

So today I went to a friends cafe and helped out for the day. They had live music and a beer/wine garden thing going on.
My job was to take the money for the cover charge to get in.
I had a couple of brief moments catching myself thinking about a glass of chilled white wine or a nice cold beer. It was hot here today 97.
The thoughts passed, I just let them float away and was really pleased to finish my task and come home to my doggies a sober guy.

It was easy not to drink today. I saw a bunch of drunk people and I thought that use to be you. It was a healthy reminder as why I can never ever have another drink. I never know where the beast will take me....

Happy Independence day from alcohol and addiction.

asixstringnut.

What a great way to spend your day 6string. I'm sure there were a few moments, but you passed the test. I'm sure your dogs are happy you came home sober too. Maybe get a meal in your belly and a solid nights sleep, tomorrows another day!

Happy birthday!!!!!:bc4:fireworks2:fest30: