Is it possible for marriage to survive?
 

The question I always ask myself... is it possible to stay married to any alcoholic. We have an almost 2 year old and one on the way My husband is starting an outpatient program this week. No clue what the future holds. Should I be supportive or just leave after. Scared and alone.

I got sober nine months after I got married, after 35 years of daily drinking. Haven't had a drink in almost 7 years. So it happens. Can't say how it will turn out for your husband, but if he accepts he has a problem and accepts that the solution is to quit drinking...forever, then there is a chance.

I think there is always hope.

I drank for 20 years and lost two relationships.

I stopped drinking ten years ago and I'm still with the person I've been with for most of those years :)

wishing all the best to you and your husband :)

Yes, it's possible. My wife and I have a large family and are coming up on nineteen years of marriage. I drank, progressively worse, for about 22 years. I'm now over five months sober. Yeah, it's been rough at times, and she, rightfully, didn't trust me for a while, but that trust is being rebuilt with sobriety. In many ways, there is more honesty and open communication in our marriage than there ever was before.

Does he desire sobriety, or is he acting like this is something being forced on him? I sincerely hope that he desires it. Even if he doesn't fully at the moment, perhaps he'll learn to embrace it. Some of us are obstinate like that. I sure was.

I hope the best for your marriage and your young family. I pray for your husband's sobriety and peace in your family.

Yes, it is possible for your marriage to survive.
Do you want to stay in the marriage? This is about you just as much as it is about him.

Most problems have solutions, in my opinion. Not all but most.

I will speak for myself.... (as a recovering alcoholic).

YES,... It is 100% possible for a person to quit drinking and be a loving and caring person.

BUT, if the person is not capable of being gentle and kind, loving, provider, family man, etc....(sober or otherwise)... then you need to do what's right for you, your child and new baby on the way.

Why not be supportive and see how it goes.... But if you are already thinking about leaving him. Only you can make that decision.

Yes, of course it is. At about 25 years into my marriage I spent 3 years drinking heavily and almost lost my family and my health. That was about 17 years ago and my husband and I are very happy.

Very happily married here. We will have 19 years of marriage this August. Our kids were 7 and 4 when I got sober (now 15 and 12).

I drank for the first 10 years. When I got sober in 2009, the key that helped us was that my husband got help, too. It is a family disease. We decided that there was a foundation worth saving in our marriage and that we still loved each other. So we "tore the house down" to build a new one. We worked our asses off - together. We went to marriage counseling and individual counseling. He went to al-anon, I went to treatment and AA. It was all very intense at first. (not to mention finding child care during all this!!)

Our relationship is amazing today. I never thought it could be this good. He is my best friend and confidant. It was a LOT of hard work, but it paid off and continues to pay...every single day.

We hardly remember how bad it was back then. We even joke about "how we used to be." How "crazy we both were". Then we jokingly point the finger at each other. lol

So I would ask you...do you still love him? Are you willing to work? Work on yourself? Work HARD? Not everyone is. Maybe find a counselor and explore the answers to these questions if you are not sure.