Not sure I want to quit
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
When I first darkened SRs doors I didn't want to quit either, that's the thing with addiction, that's why we do it, those endorphins are a great feeling in the beginning, but then addiction takes hold and we set a course of self destruction, gradually over time, and so my compass began to slowly change to needing to change or the train was going to crash if I didn't get off.
The point? you'll never know unless you give it a go, for me I looked into the abyss also, but in Sobriety I found myself once again, something worth living for!!
The point? you'll never know unless you give it a go, for me I looked into the abyss also, but in Sobriety I found myself once again, something worth living for!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Hello, DesparateMama,
I didn't want to quit either-I HAD to or I would've died, and I nearly did. I had fallen into the depths of hell and alcoholic hallucinosis. If you continue to drink things are only going to get worse, and I speak from painful experience. Your children will need you long after their 18th birthdays, and then there are the grandchildren which may come. My father was an alcoholic and it affected my life greatly, in a most negative way. You can do this. Do it for you, not just your kids. There is nothing in life that alcohol doesn't make much much worse. I wish you all the best.
I didn't want to quit either-I HAD to or I would've died, and I nearly did. I had fallen into the depths of hell and alcoholic hallucinosis. If you continue to drink things are only going to get worse, and I speak from painful experience. Your children will need you long after their 18th birthdays, and then there are the grandchildren which may come. My father was an alcoholic and it affected my life greatly, in a most negative way. You can do this. Do it for you, not just your kids. There is nothing in life that alcohol doesn't make much much worse. I wish you all the best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Originally Posted by halfalife 
You are likely on SR for similar reasons as the lot of us...wanting to improve our lives because the chaos associated with drinking became unmanageable - thus we start to recognize we all have abnormal attachment to our chosen substance. Enter addiction, withdrawals, blackouts, legal issues, failing health, damaged relationships, isolation, etc., etc., etc. There is a reason you are here and keep coming back.
I was a binger, nightly..at least 4-5 days a week and then a day or so in between to recover to begin the cycle again. I never saw the train coming. I was arrogantly surprised at one point a couple years ago that my body/mind/spirit must be tolerant of the constant drunk malaise to allow it to go on so long. And then the arrogance wore off and I woke up sick, disgusted with myself, and who I had become. It had finally caught up with me. It catches up with all of us in different ways. Sometimes after 3 years, sometimes after 30 years.
For me, it finally escalated within the last 3 years to two+ bottles of red wine, easily drinking a bottle of vodka or most of it...the progressive nature is not a fallacy.
It will get worse. It appears to be the great conquest of the alcoholic - to prove that it won't get worse for us.
Most of the long timers with years of sobriety advise that the earlier we enter recovery - life gets better for us. I am putting ALL my bets on it. And guess what? So far it's getting better.
There will be a consequence for me if the habit is continued, and it will be painful and life diminishing in many many ways - I know that be almost a guarantee.
Wishing you strength and courage to find a way through this struggle. As you know, you have found a safe place for support here. Good luck to you.
I was a binger, nightly..at least 4-5 days a week and then a day or so in between to recover to begin the cycle again. I never saw the train coming. I was arrogantly surprised at one point a couple years ago that my body/mind/spirit must be tolerant of the constant drunk malaise to allow it to go on so long. And then the arrogance wore off and I woke up sick, disgusted with myself, and who I had become. It had finally caught up with me. It catches up with all of us in different ways. Sometimes after 3 years, sometimes after 30 years.
For me, it finally escalated within the last 3 years to two+ bottles of red wine, easily drinking a bottle of vodka or most of it...the progressive nature is not a fallacy.
It will get worse. It appears to be the great conquest of the alcoholic - to prove that it won't get worse for us.
Most of the long timers with years of sobriety advise that the earlier we enter recovery - life gets better for us. I am putting ALL my bets on it. And guess what? So far it's getting better.
There will be a consequence for me if the habit is continued, and it will be painful and life diminishing in many many ways - I know that be almost a guarantee.
Wishing you strength and courage to find a way through this struggle. As you know, you have found a safe place for support here. Good luck to you.
So, it can happen pretty quickly.
Key words are: yet. The three Ls haven't been violated YET. Those are love, legal, life. Mine was life.
Good luck. I find the hardest thing about alcoholism is that people really can't be convinced to stop. It has to come from within and sometimes the circumstances that prompt it come from without, but they are usually pretty heavy.
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
You ask, "what is the point"? Boy did I feel that way just a year ago. Depressed. Guilty, ashamed, tired and suicidal. My wife had just died from cancer, I said "what is the point"? What is the point of living. Sure live for my folks, live for my daughter. Deep down I wanted to die. I sure did not want to give up drinking, but now just one short year later, drinking turns out to be where all of those problems started . I am not saying I do not have problems anymore, but I sure feel good. No way am I depressed, no way am I suicidal. I feel so darn strong and great inside.
Life is such a beautiful gift. I enjoy every second now with my daughter, I don't just phone it in. It makes a difference. I am present.
What is the point? To help each other, to share our stories, and to further God's will on Earth. Once you stop drinking, scary as that sounds, you start looking outward rather than inward. Outward is limitless.
Life is such a beautiful gift. I enjoy every second now with my daughter, I don't just phone it in. It makes a difference. I am present.
What is the point? To help each other, to share our stories, and to further God's will on Earth. Once you stop drinking, scary as that sounds, you start looking outward rather than inward. Outward is limitless.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by DesperateMama2
Hi all,
Not sure if anyone can relate to this but the truth is I'm not sure I actually want to quit. I know I NEED to for my children but sometimes I feel that once I raise them (they are 8 and 9) my job (and responsibilities) are done.
What's the point?
Not sure if anyone can relate to this but the truth is I'm not sure I actually want to quit. I know I NEED to for my children but sometimes I feel that once I raise them (they are 8 and 9) my job (and responsibilities) are done.
What's the point?
I remember two years ago I would wake up most mornings and say to myself. "I'm not going to drink today." Then at 5pm holding a drink in my hand not liking myself because I was "weak".
One added benefit for me is the loss of 15 pounds over the last year and a half.
I wish you the best of luck whatever path you choose.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi DM,
How are you doing today? I am also a mom, and I originally wanted to get sober for my kids, it seemed like a very good reason, and they certainly deserved a sober mom. I was able to stay sober for a bit, it it didn't work, I needed to get to the point where I wanted to be sober for me. I wanted to be the best person I could be physically, and mentally, and alcohol certainly didn't allow for that.
Like you, I didn't really want to stop drinking, but I needed to. Although I never had anything horrible happen, I had way too many days where I was not operating at anywhere near 100%. I started reflecting on all aspects of my life, and started pondering the fact that we only get to go through this life once, and I want to go through with a sense of clarity.
It wasn't easy, especially in the beginning, but it was so worth it. I know you can do this for you, and your kids having a sober mom will be an added benefit.
Join us on the 24 hour thread, you will get lots of support on there. Also, look into joining the Class of July 2017.
Check in when you get a chance.
❤️Delilah
How are you doing today? I am also a mom, and I originally wanted to get sober for my kids, it seemed like a very good reason, and they certainly deserved a sober mom. I was able to stay sober for a bit, it it didn't work, I needed to get to the point where I wanted to be sober for me. I wanted to be the best person I could be physically, and mentally, and alcohol certainly didn't allow for that.
Like you, I didn't really want to stop drinking, but I needed to. Although I never had anything horrible happen, I had way too many days where I was not operating at anywhere near 100%. I started reflecting on all aspects of my life, and started pondering the fact that we only get to go through this life once, and I want to go through with a sense of clarity.
It wasn't easy, especially in the beginning, but it was so worth it. I know you can do this for you, and your kids having a sober mom will be an added benefit.
Join us on the 24 hour thread, you will get lots of support on there. Also, look into joining the Class of July 2017.
Check in when you get a chance.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Worcestershire, UK
Posts: 153
I have an 8 year old and a 9 year old too. Today my 8 yr old asked me how many days I had not had a drink or a cigarette. I said it was nearly 4 months. My son said "I'm so proud of you Mummy"
It was a bitter sweet moment. I felt pride in myself for finally stopping and doing something good for my children. I also felt shame that my drinking had obviously affected them in ways that I had chosen to ignore.
You ask, what is the point? For me, my kids are the point.
It was a bitter sweet moment. I felt pride in myself for finally stopping and doing something good for my children. I also felt shame that my drinking had obviously affected them in ways that I had chosen to ignore.
You ask, what is the point? For me, my kids are the point.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I never try to convince anyone to quit. That has to come from within. For a very long time I WANTED to WANT to quit drinking. But I did not WANT TO QUIT. Only when I wanted to quit was I able to make it last. Sadly, many of us need a lot of jackpots before we reach rock bottom.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
Originally Posted by least
Well, actually, once they turn 18 does not necessarily mean your 'responsibilities' are over.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Anywhere
Posts: 43
i know the feeling. i never actually want to quit either, but i rationalize by making a list of all the bad things about drinking such as suffering hangovers, spending money, sometimes losing things when out, lack of productivity at work, and on and on and on....then all the good things such as....um eh....NOTHING. the only remotely good thing that temporarily come sout of drinking is to escape....and does not being present really qualify as good? not really...so again nothing good comes out of continuing to drink. so to do so really would be, as they all say it is, insanity.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
Hmm I didn't wanna quit either, was more like quit or end up dead or in a psychiatric hospital.
You may not see it NOW but I am sure with sober time you will be grateful for it.
Im very new to sobriety as well , you are not alone !
You may not see it NOW but I am sure with sober time you will be grateful for it.
Im very new to sobriety as well , you are not alone !
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