checking in
 

checking in, still not drinking, depressed and anxious.

All i have to say right now.

How many days has it been Chilledice? Glad to hear you are not drinking. Good job.

not sure how many days, dont even wanna know, in a dark place. I cant even eat and im drained beyond belief cant talk much now sorry

Hi Chilledice 💜

Hang in there, I know the feeling. I don't count the days too often myself, everyonce in a while I look it up and it suprises me.

Time is the fixer, we just have to keep our heads down and holdon.

Feel like im sinking deeper and deeper, dont know where to turn.

Do you have someone you can talk to face to face?

not at the moment no, 31 years old and i feel like im done already, feel like THIS is my life.

I kept reading horror stories online about mental health and ive utterely convinced myself that im off my rocker.

im scared that il have this diagnosis forever , some say it can be beaten others say no you have to live with it, some christian preachers say yes of course you are allowed to take meds others say dont you dare take medication your not trusting God etc etc

My head is SPINNING and i am so so SO desperate! I cant find peace in myself and dont know if i ever will.

What does a DOCTOR say?

ptsd which shows itself in generalised anxiety and panic disorder , severe depression aswell.

I have crazy thoughts in my head and im scared if i tell a dr they will label me as psychotic etc

But then again ive heard that anxiety can produce weird thoughts.

Im not looking for medical advice no worries, just expressing!

You may have been told this before, but you need to get in and tell someone what you are telling us. I doubt that drinking would improve your mental state, so it might be something else. The responsible thing is to address it with a professional and not drink or neglect your feelings.

They gave me heavy 2 types of medication to take, i only take one for my blood pressure tho, stopped the other one due to religious fear blah blah etc

Im not goona drink no wories.

I respect your religious beliefs, Chilledice.

Without trying to dissuade you from same, may I say that I do believe that God wants us to be physically and mentally healthy. I believe further that God has gifted the medical profession with minds capable of knowing what is good for us.

I hope that you can find a way to see and accept the talents given by God to our medical professionals and avail yourself of their suggestions.

I truly believe that God, in His kindness and love, wants Chilledice to be well.

How are you, Chilledice?

Thinking of you.

Im ok thanks.

Still not drinking.

I decided that there are some christian preachers i just CANT listen too! just made me feel so much worse inside.

Not sure what else to say right now in all honesty, im not goona watch the news anymore, everytime i put it on they are talking about mental health issues etc its doing my head in i cant escape it!

Last few days ive been researching my anxiety online and i diagnosed myself ith every worse illness i could think of, sooooo goona stop that aswell!

Not much else to report sorry, thanks for the chat i appreciate it!

Oh i forgot to say, my urine tests came back clear.

Glad that your urine test came back clear, Chilledice. Great news.

Dr. Google can be a dangerous thing. Maybe leave diagnosis to the professionals.

Really good to hear from you, Chilledice.