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A final word about dogs and life and gratitude

Old 06-23-2017, 05:00 PM
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A final word about dogs and life and gratitude

Hello SR friends,

We say goodbye to our beloved 14-year-old greyhound tomorrow. Some of you have followed the thoughts I posted this week and for that, whether you just read or commented, I am grateful. An extra big thanks for those did comment; your messages were largely responsible for me being able to stay sober this entire week. Given my drinking history and my nascent sobriety, that is something just short of miraculous.

Argus wanted me to tell you he has been especially appreciative of all the hugs sent his way. I personally delivered each and every one.

I don’t expect I’ll post tomorrow, and moving forward, as I cope with the loss and work on how to not drink, I’ll likely move my posts back to my original monthly thread (go Ninjas!) and my occasional drop-in on those wacky Weekenders. : )

But I wanted to post a final photo in Newcomers tonight for those that might be familiar with my original post about the lily (found here):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gratitude.html

I was able to capture the same flower during its full bloom (shared below), which only occurs from morning to late afternoon. This exquisite demonstration of nature only lives for about four days; mine followed that convention and today only the very tip of its closed bulb was peeking above the water.

Like my time with Argus, it seems just way too short.
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water_lily_bloomed.jpg (90.0 KB, 101 views)

Last edited by argillaceous; 06-23-2017 at 05:02 PM. Reason: changed sentence
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Old 06-23-2017, 05:18 PM
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(((argi)))

Continue to love Argus Today- and know that you can post as much or as little as you need from tomorrow, and not just in your 'home' thread.

I'm sure you'll be glad of the support and the good advice.

I believe that you can, absolutely, stay sober through this.

D
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Old 06-23-2017, 05:23 PM
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You're in my thoughts. Please come here if you're having a tough time. ((((((Hugs)))))
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Old 06-23-2017, 05:24 PM
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Big hugs to you and Argus. I know the pain of saying goodbye.
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Old 06-23-2017, 05:46 PM
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(((Argillaceous)))

Not sure if this helps, but I know a couple of friends who had dogs that recently passed. They weren't even my pets but they were my buddies - One was a lab mix named Isabelle, and a boxer named Angel. I still miss those sweet and funny girls! Argus will be in excellent company
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Old 06-23-2017, 05:51 PM
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(((Argillaceous))) Please know many of us are walking with you tomorrow. You're not alone ... check in when you can.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers through this most difficult time.
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Old 06-23-2017, 06:00 PM
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I am so sorry. Please know that so many of us have gone through what you are going through now. Our fur babies are perfect...unconditional love for us and their only wish is to make us happy.

There will be many sweet souls to meet Argus at Rainbow Bridge. He will be pain free and playing with all of our dearly departed furry family members, until he can see you again.

RIP, sweet boy. ♥

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Old 06-23-2017, 06:27 PM
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Prayers going up for you & your family as you send Argus home. We'll be thinking of you tomorrow - right there with you in spirit.
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Old 06-23-2017, 06:38 PM
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(((Argillaceous))) Hugs and prayers for you as you say good-bye to your sweet boy Argus. Our beloved dogs don't live as long as they should, which makes our time with them so very very precious.
Please know drinking will not help with the grieving process.....it will only prolong it. And one day in the future, your tears will stop and you will smile at the beautiful memories and the love you shared with Argus ....really, you will.
I hope you continue to post about your journey. You truly have a gift with words and your strength, hope and experience will help others.
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Old 06-23-2017, 06:40 PM
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Good thoughts coming your way.
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Old 06-23-2017, 09:53 PM
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Remember all the good times and take comfort from knowing he will pass on peacefully and I am so glad you are confident of not drinking as that what tarnish your last hours with Angus.
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Old 06-23-2017, 10:57 PM
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Thanks to everyone whose posted support for me. I am having a bit of a hard time here at the last moments, in part because I've been up now for about 36 hours due to some flareups with my chronic pain issues (I think the stress of losing Argus has contributed).

In any case, Dee, thanks for noting that I don't have to run away from Newcomers at this point and back to my "home" thread. I have this sense that I've already overloaded Newcomers with two overly lengthy posts and didn't want to wear out my welcome. Thanks for noting that I could still post there if needed.

LadyBlue, I know you know how I feel. I've told Argus about Waffles; he's still a little rough on the concept of what this "cat" thing is but said he's willing to sit down over a bowl of fresh water and chat after he arrives. He is wondering if she will be holding up an "Argus" sign or how he might otherwise recognize her...

Purplrks, Argus was also wondering if Isabelle and/or Angel are single (he says he's open to dating all breeds...the girls should know he's shy but won't stop rooing once one or both of them earn his trust...)

least and Maudcat, thanks for the hugs (I so cannot get enough hugs right now) and the good thoughts.

Optival and Hevyn, I took in a deep breath when I read what you said about walking with me and being with me in spirit. I hadn't thought about it in that way—I was sort of thinking more that SR folks are here for when I post needing help or support; the idea of thinking that you're actually with me in spirit is in comforting in a way that is hard for me to describe, except to say it makes me feel held by the community and less alone.

suki, oh, that cartoon! I pictured Argus as the dog on the left going for the angel halo frisbee. Hope the angel doesn't mind if Argus keeps running with it; sighthounds aren't particularly good at fetch (or obedience for that matter...) I have been comforting myself and telling Argus about the bridge and that he will be pain free and can run fast and furious like he used to do when we first adopted him.

bandicoot, thanks for bringing up how the drinking won't help the grieving process and that my tears really will stop one day (of that I feel a bit unsure but I trust you that they will). I'm feeling quite raw and vulnerable right now, and seeing your words brings me back to my promise to Argus and how I want to honor him by honoring that.

I feel good about tonight but sketchy about tomorrow after he has passed. Hopefully I can gather all of you here in my mind as a defense against AV.

I also wanted to say thank you for your comments about my writing. It was so, so nice to pour everything out on paper (and it kept me from drinking), but it is even nicer to know that there is someone out there who enjoyed it. That alone makes it worth the time spent writing. I appreciate your words more than you may know.

And Sao, as noted above, I'm good for tonight. I think the important thing for me tomorrow is to try to stay in the present moment and feel whatever it is I feel, keeping in mind that feelings eventually pass. Please keep me in your thoughts for the first few days after he crosses over; I feel that's when I'll be most vulnerable.

Argus is currently laying on the bed perpendicular to me (i.e., he is hogging most of the bed as usual). But I can hear him softly snoring, and, as I lay my hand on his chest, can feel the steady rise and fall as he continues to breath life in. Rather than focusing on tomorrow and after his passing, I am choosing tonight just to be in the moment with him (to continue to love Argus today as Dee noted). After all, the only thing we really actually have is the now.

With that, I'm going to take my leave. Thanks to all who so generously have opened their hearts to my situation and made me feel like I am not alone. Hugs all around.
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Old 06-24-2017, 03:48 AM
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You're in my thoughts today. Sending you hugs and strength.
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Old 06-24-2017, 04:17 AM
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I am usually over in F&F, just happened to roam over here today and saw your thread. My heart goes out to you; I have dear friends who've left me far, far too soon also and I know how painful the loss is.

I will burn my little lamp to light the way for both of you today.

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Old 06-24-2017, 04:52 AM
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What touching tributes to Argus along with the beautiful photos you've taken. I'm very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet.
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Old 06-24-2017, 05:19 AM
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Prayers being lifted up for you and your sweet pup. May God be with you both as he makes his transition to heaven. He will always be with you and will wait until you meet again.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:49 PM
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Thoughts are with you all for tomorrow!!
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Old 06-24-2017, 02:06 PM
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Sending you more hugs and prayers for peace of mind. All our departed critters will meet Argus and will make friends with him.
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Old 06-24-2017, 03:07 PM
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Thought of you first thing this morning - said a little prayer for you to be comforted. I know you'll see Argus again.
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Old 06-24-2017, 07:22 PM
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(((Argillaceous))) You are in my thoughts and prayers.......
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