1st Time I've Said it Out Loud!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
1st Time I've Said it Out Loud!
After reading it sounds like I should get medically supervised detox assistance. But to admit I have a problem and have it written in my "permanent" medical record could be devastating to my career. I would have to use my employer provided insurance, the insurance provider would label me and I would have to reveal this every time I completed a medical questionnaire for my job. I am required to have a physical annually. I am 56, back in college, and trying to make a career change. My new career requires licensing, fingerprints, and an extensive background check. I have had many background checks, however I do not know if they check for mental health issues. I am not in any way suicidal, I am anchored to this world by my love for my son. However, I have made peace with my spirituality so I am alright with (by natural causes) being in this world or out of it. I had two physicals (one with personal doctor and one with job doctor this month) and I hid my problem as I have for 40 years. I have only stopped drinking for 3 years of the 40 and that was when I was expecting my son and breast feeding him. Any weakness I have ever revealed in my professional or private life has been met with judgement and used against me. I do not trust anyone, except my mother. I actually fear being judged by others more than dying from or living with the affects of alcoholism. I wish I knew what to do next, I do not want to drink, I fell unhealthy, tired, depressed, and hopeless. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Hi EHDW,
I wonder if there is an information/advice service for your profession where you could anonymously ask where you would stand with it being on your medical record or if it would even come up on any checks carried out? I am a member of a union and if I had the same concern I would contact them and ask.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
I wonder if there is an information/advice service for your profession where you could anonymously ask where you would stand with it being on your medical record or if it would even come up on any checks carried out? I am a member of a union and if I had the same concern I would contact them and ask.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome EHDW 
We can offer advice but we can't make you see a Dr - I think it's the safe and sensible way.
For me, I'd rather something on my file than have something bad happen - but that's your call.
Have you stopped drinking yet?
D
We can offer advice but we can't make you see a Dr - I think it's the safe and sensible way.
For me, I'd rather something on my file than have something bad happen - but that's your call.
Have you stopped drinking yet?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
EH- welcome.
If my addiction to alcohol was an animal- it would be cornered, fighting tooth and nail to survive- because it is dying. Crappy metaphor, but that is how it seems to me- instead of just giving up and accepting I could not drink anymore- I had to prove (?) I had to stop only by taking drinking to a level most (thankfully) do not get to. Shame, guilt, isolation, anger, fear- all those sorts of words. Along with this my depression manned up.
I am sober and okay- although I had to lose everything (including my life) before I finally gave up the fight that I was a strong person who could stop drinking by will power. Delusional weakness, as addiction does not obey rules of rational thought.
So this means- I need meetings, counselling- a routine, recovery 'homework', SR- just a little change everyday.
Support to you.
If my addiction to alcohol was an animal- it would be cornered, fighting tooth and nail to survive- because it is dying. Crappy metaphor, but that is how it seems to me- instead of just giving up and accepting I could not drink anymore- I had to prove (?) I had to stop only by taking drinking to a level most (thankfully) do not get to. Shame, guilt, isolation, anger, fear- all those sorts of words. Along with this my depression manned up.
I am sober and okay- although I had to lose everything (including my life) before I finally gave up the fight that I was a strong person who could stop drinking by will power. Delusional weakness, as addiction does not obey rules of rational thought.
So this means- I need meetings, counselling- a routine, recovery 'homework', SR- just a little change everyday.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 315
Do you have an anonymous Employee Assistance Program hotline you can call? Some employers offer such an anonymous service.
I completely understand your fear of the impact on your job by having this on your medical record. I didn't like having my alcoholism on my medical record, either, although in my case, it won't impact my employment. For me, it boiled down to life or death. Perhaps not immediately imminent, but I knew my alcohol abuse would shorten my life and quality of life. I also had legitimate fears of seizures or other severe withdrawal symptoms from suddenly stopping. In the big picture, my life wasn't worth the fear of that in my medical record.
Whatever you do, I hope for the best for you in recovery, and please stay safe while stopping. As I found out during my first detox, things can get very scary in a hurry when you do it on your own.
I completely understand your fear of the impact on your job by having this on your medical record. I didn't like having my alcoholism on my medical record, either, although in my case, it won't impact my employment. For me, it boiled down to life or death. Perhaps not immediately imminent, but I knew my alcohol abuse would shorten my life and quality of life. I also had legitimate fears of seizures or other severe withdrawal symptoms from suddenly stopping. In the big picture, my life wasn't worth the fear of that in my medical record.
Whatever you do, I hope for the best for you in recovery, and please stay safe while stopping. As I found out during my first detox, things can get very scary in a hurry when you do it on your own.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome EHDW - It's so good to have you here with us. SR really helped me to not feel alone anymore. We all understand what you're going through, like no one else can.
I hope posting here will help you change your life. It takes such courage after decades of drinking, but I did it after 30 yrs. You can too.
I hope posting here will help you change your life. It takes such courage after decades of drinking, but I did it after 30 yrs. You can too.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
I understand your feelings and I hope you can get thru withdrawal safely. Alcohol w/d can be tricky, even dangerous so don't hesitate to get medical help if things get bad.
I understand your feelings and I hope you can get thru withdrawal safely. Alcohol w/d can be tricky, even dangerous so don't hesitate to get medical help if things get bad. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by nova84 
Hi EHDW,
I wonder if there is an information/advice service for your profession where you could anonymously ask where you would stand with it being on your medical record or if it would even come up on any checks carried out? I am a member of a union and if I had the same concern I would contact them and ask.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
I wonder if there is an information/advice service for your profession where you could anonymously ask where you would stand with it being on your medical record or if it would even come up on any checks carried out? I am a member of a union and if I had the same concern I would contact them and ask.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
if your in the u.s. the hippa law doesnt allow doctors to reveal medical information to employers.
HIPAA prohibits employers from accessing patient records or insurance claims because it could result in discrimination. If an employer wants to see any of your medical information, the employer would need to receive your written permission
not sure about other countries. maybe others around the world can chime in.
i truly hope you want to stop drinking for good.
what i read is a point in my existence (thats what i call my drinking days because thats all it was- an existence)-i didnt care if i lived or died and was actually trying to drink myself to death.
i thought that would end the internal pain. fortunately, i was able to have seen people close to me have loved ones commit suicide by bottle. it didnt end their pain- the pain was transmitted to the family members.
HIPAA prohibits employers from accessing patient records or insurance claims because it could result in discrimination. If an employer wants to see any of your medical information, the employer would need to receive your written permission
not sure about other countries. maybe others around the world can chime in.
i truly hope you want to stop drinking for good.
what i read is a point in my existence (thats what i call my drinking days because thats all it was- an existence)-i didnt care if i lived or died and was actually trying to drink myself to death.
i thought that would end the internal pain. fortunately, i was able to have seen people close to me have loved ones commit suicide by bottle. it didnt end their pain- the pain was transmitted to the family members.
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