Going to treatment. Scared.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Going to treatment. Scared.
Okay after 3 years, numerous attempts to either moderate or quit.... I've made two big decisions. 1. Finally let the cat out of the bag and let everyone, friends, family m ow I have a problem (no one could believe it) and 2. Enter inpatient treatment.... this is what I need to finally be done. I'm scared, anxious, and mentally and physically exhausted from this past week with telling people, getting evaluated by a counselor, figuring out childcare etc... I am so ready to go. I just want to know what to expect...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Your recovery will benefit them so so much. No doubt your AV will pipe up with such bull-poop as 'you're being selfish' and 'that time away will damage the bond between you'. Be on your guard for those thoughts and try to recognise them for what they are. That AV does not want you to stop drinking, and it definitely doesn't want you to recover, and it has no interest at all in your babies.
I think it's a fab time to be doing this work. While they're still little and you have so much of their childhood to be the happy, sane, sober, balanced and emotionally available mum you really want to be.
It might seem scary, but most fears are based on projection rather than fact. You know, maybe the rehab will be hard work and a little difficult emotionally at times. But not as bad as the alternative, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, so try to keep your focus on that.
Prayers for you. You can do this. It is a really exciting opportunity, and a whole new start for you and your babies. When are you going in?
BB
I think it's a fab time to be doing this work. While they're still little and you have so much of their childhood to be the happy, sane, sober, balanced and emotionally available mum you really want to be.
It might seem scary, but most fears are based on projection rather than fact. You know, maybe the rehab will be hard work and a little difficult emotionally at times. But not as bad as the alternative, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, so try to keep your focus on that.
Prayers for you. You can do this. It is a really exciting opportunity, and a whole new start for you and your babies. When are you going in?
BB
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Cleopatra4 
But I'm going FOR them as well as me.
I did a 6 week treatment program. One of my counselors said to me,
some thing along the lines of,
"screw anyone who says not to do it for your kids. Or your family. Or your dog or whatever. If that's what it takes to help you to take the first step, so be it. At least it's a step in the right direction"
Are you well informed on what kind of communication or visits you can have while there?
And just be really open and honest with the counselors. They are there to support you and will help you through that.
I am really glad to hear you are going to treatment. I went and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to go to, and to the one that I did.
I am still in contact with them too. It was a life changing experience for me.
The first step is always kind of scary, but you're not alone. Every little step you are taking towards building a sober life for yourself is something you may want to give yourself a pat on the back for, be kind to yourself, and keep on keeping on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,539
You will be fine Cleopatra.
Time out in rehab did me the world of good. There will be space just for you and will give you time to think, particularly if good counsellors and a good crew. Often this is the case.
And I reckon you can do it for anyone, anything just so long as you do it.
Time out in rehab did me the world of good. There will be space just for you and will give you time to think, particularly if good counsellors and a good crew. Often this is the case.
And I reckon you can do it for anyone, anything just so long as you do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Thank you everyone SO much! BB I especially love what you said about my AV. That's soooo very true.
To answer some questions: I'll go Sunday or Monday. Waiting to hear...
I'll have Saturday visits from family and a family weekend the last week. I think it's a 21 day program. Scared yes, but still very excited to get healthy and clean.
To answer some questions: I'll go Sunday or Monday. Waiting to hear...
I'll have Saturday visits from family and a family weekend the last week. I think it's a 21 day program. Scared yes, but still very excited to get healthy and clean.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Congratulations for stepping up with
so much courage to seek help for your
addiction.
I don't think I would have had that
much courage as you to get help for
my own alcohol addiction 26 yrs ago
because I didn't think I had an addiction
problem.
It took my family, husband and his folks,
to call for direction, help, guidance as to
what to do with me because of the state
of mind I was in at that time.
I had been out the night before till wee
hours of the morning coming home intoxicated
to another argument with my husband.
Upon a dare, I took a hand full of pills because
I felt like a failure of a wife and unable to
control my drinking. Off to bed I went with
not thinking of the consequences that would
follow my intent to check out of this life.
My 2 babies, 3 and 5 were unable to wake
me on their own, but did come too when
hearing the phone next to my bed ringing.
That ringing sounded like it was soooo far
in the distance and yet it was right there.
Because of that stunt, family got worried
and called for help and had the authorities
to come pick me up in their patrol car and
take me to the hospital for evaluation.
Little did I know that once I left the drive
way I would remain gone for 28 day away
from my babies and home.
See, for you, you have time to get everyone
settle before you leave. Me, I didn't have that,
yet I left sooooo worried and couldn't imagine
anyone taking care of my babies any better
than I could.
But you know what, no one in my family
starved while I was away. Everyone went
on with their daily lives, kids began school
without me,, inlaws took over my position
and took care of my little family.
You see the sad faces I added? Yes I was
sad, mad, pizzed off, full of anger, hatred,
resentments towards all of them because
they stepped in and interrupted my world
I thought was normal.
Little did I know was that I was soooo
sick and was hitting my very bottom
with my alcohol addiction. Yes my husband
and inlaws stepped in and got me the help I
so desperately needed at that time in my
life and yes it took a long time to understand
what they did for me.
They saved my life. It was because of the
love and care they had for me that they
sought the help I needed for my addiction.
I spent 28 days in rehab going thru the motions
allowing the toxins and fog to leave my
mind and body before the seeds of a recovery
program began to take over teaching me
healthy ways to live life without the dependency
of a poisonous, toxic substance affecting my
mind body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me to admit
and accept my addiction and to have the
willingness and openmindedness to continue
on with my life once I left treatment.
When I was in treatment back in 1990,
I had a room to myself for a good while
always thinking God was protecting me
from other patients.
Eventually close to
the end I had a room mate.
Each day was structured for us with
morning exercises, breakfast, classes
to teach us about our addiction and
a program that I would learn and incorporate
in all my affairs once I returned home.
There was swimming, various exercise
activities, tennis, walkin, jogging, ROPES,
etc. There were councilors there to talk
to us, teach us, help us thru out the 28
days I was there.
Once I was released I was instructed to
continue on with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program before completing
my rehab experience.
Like I said, 28 days was just a drop
in a bucket because now that I had
a tiny amount of time sober, it was
to be my own responsibility to carry
on using all the tools and knowledge
of rehab taught to me to help me remain
sober one day at a time.
That was 26 yrs ago as I continue on today
living a sober life with a purpose and meaning.
To pass on my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before, during and after my addiction.
This is your time to leave behind your
addiction and replace it with something
healthier, more important to you and
your family. A life of sobriety filled with
gifts and promises to be grateful for.
The Gift of Sobriety is waiting for you.
Good luck...!!!!!
so much courage to seek help for your
addiction.
I don't think I would have had that
much courage as you to get help for
my own alcohol addiction 26 yrs ago
because I didn't think I had an addiction
problem.
It took my family, husband and his folks,
to call for direction, help, guidance as to
what to do with me because of the state
of mind I was in at that time.
I had been out the night before till wee
hours of the morning coming home intoxicated
to another argument with my husband.
Upon a dare, I took a hand full of pills because
I felt like a failure of a wife and unable to
control my drinking. Off to bed I went with
not thinking of the consequences that would
follow my intent to check out of this life.
My 2 babies, 3 and 5 were unable to wake
me on their own, but did come too when
hearing the phone next to my bed ringing.
That ringing sounded like it was soooo far
in the distance and yet it was right there.
Because of that stunt, family got worried
and called for help and had the authorities
to come pick me up in their patrol car and
take me to the hospital for evaluation.
Little did I know that once I left the drive
way I would remain gone for 28 day away
from my babies and home.
See, for you, you have time to get everyone
settle before you leave. Me, I didn't have that,
yet I left sooooo worried and couldn't imagine
anyone taking care of my babies any better
than I could.
But you know what, no one in my family
starved while I was away. Everyone went
on with their daily lives, kids began school
without me,
, inlaws took over my positionand took care of my little family.
You see the sad faces I added? Yes I was
sad, mad, pizzed off, full of anger, hatred,
resentments towards all of them because
they stepped in and interrupted my world
I thought was normal.
Little did I know was that I was soooo
sick and was hitting my very bottom
with my alcohol addiction. Yes my husband
and inlaws stepped in and got me the help I
so desperately needed at that time in my
life and yes it took a long time to understand
what they did for me.
They saved my life. It was because of the
love and care they had for me that they
sought the help I needed for my addiction.
I spent 28 days in rehab going thru the motions
allowing the toxins and fog to leave my
mind and body before the seeds of a recovery
program began to take over teaching me
healthy ways to live life without the dependency
of a poisonous, toxic substance affecting my
mind body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me to admit
and accept my addiction and to have the
willingness and openmindedness to continue
on with my life once I left treatment.
When I was in treatment back in 1990,
I had a room to myself for a good while
always thinking God was protecting me
from other patients.
Eventually close tothe end I had a room mate.
Each day was structured for us with
morning exercises, breakfast, classes
to teach us about our addiction and
a program that I would learn and incorporate
in all my affairs once I returned home.
There was swimming, various exercise
activities, tennis, walkin, jogging, ROPES,
etc. There were councilors there to talk
to us, teach us, help us thru out the 28
days I was there.
Once I was released I was instructed to
continue on with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program before completing
my rehab experience.
Like I said, 28 days was just a drop
in a bucket because now that I had
a tiny amount of time sober, it was
to be my own responsibility to carry
on using all the tools and knowledge
of rehab taught to me to help me remain
sober one day at a time.
That was 26 yrs ago as I continue on today
living a sober life with a purpose and meaning.
To pass on my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before, during and after my addiction.
This is your time to leave behind your
addiction and replace it with something
healthier, more important to you and
your family. A life of sobriety filled with
gifts and promises to be grateful for.
The Gift of Sobriety is waiting for you.
Good luck...!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Cleopatra4
I'm mostly scared about being away from my babies. One year and 2.5. I haven't been away from my one year old for more than three hours. He is such a mamas boy. But I'm going FOR them as well as me.
think about this:
youre afraid of being away from your babies, but were you really there with them when you were drinking?
youre going to learn a LOT in treatment and will be able to be there for and with them
AND
be there for and with yourself- be comfortable in your own skin
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Good for you. I was considering going into treatment. My insurance wouldn't pick up the part for the medical facility so the center told me if I didn't drink for 72 hours prior to going in they would let me sleep in their sober home on campus and spend wake up to nightfall inside the rehab. I wish I had decided to go, I think my foundation would have been a lot stronger in the early months if I had.
So glad you made that decision.
So glad you made that decision.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by tomsteve
good on ya!!
think about this:
youre afraid of being away from your babies, but were you really there with them when you were drinking?
youre going to learn a LOT in treatment and will be able to be there for and with them
AND
be there for and with yourself- be comfortable in your own skin
think about this:
youre afraid of being away from your babies, but were you really there with them when you were drinking?
youre going to learn a LOT in treatment and will be able to be there for and with them
AND
be there for and with yourself- be comfortable in your own skin
at least not some of the time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by shockozulu
Good for you. I was considering going into treatment. My insurance wouldn't pick up the part for the medical facility so the center told me if I didn't drink for 72 hours prior to going in they would let me sleep in their sober home on campus and spend wake up to nightfall inside the rehab. I wish I had decided to go, I think my foundation would have been a lot stronger in the early months if I had.
So glad you made that decision.
So glad you made that decision.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by aasharon90
Congratulations for stepping up with
so much courage to seek help for your
addiction.
I don't think I would have had that
much courage as you to get help for
my own alcohol addiction 26 yrs ago
because I didn't think I had an addiction
problem.
It took my family, husband and his folks,
to call for direction, help, guidance as to
what to do with me because of the state
of mind I was in at that time.
I had been out the night before till wee
hours of the morning coming home intoxicated
to another argument with my husband.
Upon a dare, I took a hand full of pills because
I felt like a failure of a wife and unable to
control my drinking. Off to bed I went with
not thinking of the consequences that would
follow my intent to check out of this life.
My 2 babies, 3 and 5 were unable to wake
me on their own, but did come too when
hearing the phone next to my bed ringing.
That ringing sounded like it was soooo far
in the distance and yet it was right there.
Because of that stunt, family got worried
and called for help and had the authorities
to come pick me up in their patrol car and
take me to the hospital for evaluation.
Little did I know that once I left the drive
way I would remain gone for 28 day away
from my babies and home.
See, for you, you have time to get everyone
settle before you leave. Me, I didn't have that,
yet I left sooooo worried and couldn't imagine
anyone taking care of my babies any better
than I could.
But you know what, no one in my family
starved while I was away. Everyone went
on with their daily lives, kids began school
without me,, inlaws took over my position
and took care of my little family.
You see the sad faces I added? Yes I was
sad, mad, pizzed off, full of anger, hatred,
resentments towards all of them because
they stepped in and interrupted my world
I thought was normal.
Little did I know was that I was soooo
sick and was hitting my very bottom
with my alcohol addiction. Yes my husband
and inlaws stepped in and got me the help I
so desperately needed at that time in my
life and yes it took a long time to understand
what they did for me.
They saved my life. It was because of the
love and care they had for me that they
sought the help I needed for my addiction.
I spent 28 days in rehab going thru the motions
allowing the toxins and fog to leave my
mind and body before the seeds of a recovery
program began to take over teaching me
healthy ways to live life without the dependency
of a poisonous, toxic substance affecting my
mind body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me to admit
and accept my addiction and to have the
willingness and openmindedness to continue
on with my life once I left treatment.
When I was in treatment back in 1990,
I had a room to myself for a good while
always thinking God was protecting me
from other patients. Eventually close to
the end I had a room mate.
Each day was structured for us with
morning exercises, breakfast, classes
to teach us about our addiction and
a program that I would learn and incorporate
in all my affairs once I returned home.
There was swimming, various exercise
activities, tennis, walkin, jogging, ROPES,
etc. There were councilors there to talk
to us, teach us, help us thru out the 28
days I was there.
Once I was released I was instructed to
continue on with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program before completing
my rehab experience.
Like I said, 28 days was just a drop
in a bucket because now that I had
a tiny amount of time sober, it was
to be my own responsibility to carry
on using all the tools and knowledge
of rehab taught to me to help me remain
sober one day at a time.
That was 26 yrs ago as I continue on today
living a sober life with a purpose and meaning.
To pass on my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before, during and after my addiction.
This is your time to leave behind your
addiction and replace it with something
healthier, more important to you and
your family. A life of sobriety filled with
gifts and promises to be grateful for.
The Gift of Sobriety is waiting for you.
Good luck...!!!!!
so much courage to seek help for your
addiction.
I don't think I would have had that
much courage as you to get help for
my own alcohol addiction 26 yrs ago
because I didn't think I had an addiction
problem.
It took my family, husband and his folks,
to call for direction, help, guidance as to
what to do with me because of the state
of mind I was in at that time.
I had been out the night before till wee
hours of the morning coming home intoxicated
to another argument with my husband.
Upon a dare, I took a hand full of pills because
I felt like a failure of a wife and unable to
control my drinking. Off to bed I went with
not thinking of the consequences that would
follow my intent to check out of this life.
My 2 babies, 3 and 5 were unable to wake
me on their own, but did come too when
hearing the phone next to my bed ringing.
That ringing sounded like it was soooo far
in the distance and yet it was right there.
Because of that stunt, family got worried
and called for help and had the authorities
to come pick me up in their patrol car and
take me to the hospital for evaluation.
Little did I know that once I left the drive
way I would remain gone for 28 day away
from my babies and home.
See, for you, you have time to get everyone
settle before you leave. Me, I didn't have that,
yet I left sooooo worried and couldn't imagine
anyone taking care of my babies any better
than I could.
But you know what, no one in my family
starved while I was away. Everyone went
on with their daily lives, kids began school
without me,
, inlaws took over my positionand took care of my little family.
You see the sad faces I added? Yes I was
sad, mad, pizzed off, full of anger, hatred,
resentments towards all of them because
they stepped in and interrupted my world
I thought was normal.
Little did I know was that I was soooo
sick and was hitting my very bottom
with my alcohol addiction. Yes my husband
and inlaws stepped in and got me the help I
so desperately needed at that time in my
life and yes it took a long time to understand
what they did for me.
They saved my life. It was because of the
love and care they had for me that they
sought the help I needed for my addiction.
I spent 28 days in rehab going thru the motions
allowing the toxins and fog to leave my
mind and body before the seeds of a recovery
program began to take over teaching me
healthy ways to live life without the dependency
of a poisonous, toxic substance affecting my
mind body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me to admit
and accept my addiction and to have the
willingness and openmindedness to continue
on with my life once I left treatment.
When I was in treatment back in 1990,
I had a room to myself for a good while
always thinking God was protecting me
from other patients.
Eventually close tothe end I had a room mate.
Each day was structured for us with
morning exercises, breakfast, classes
to teach us about our addiction and
a program that I would learn and incorporate
in all my affairs once I returned home.
There was swimming, various exercise
activities, tennis, walkin, jogging, ROPES,
etc. There were councilors there to talk
to us, teach us, help us thru out the 28
days I was there.
Once I was released I was instructed to
continue on with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program before completing
my rehab experience.
Like I said, 28 days was just a drop
in a bucket because now that I had
a tiny amount of time sober, it was
to be my own responsibility to carry
on using all the tools and knowledge
of rehab taught to me to help me remain
sober one day at a time.
That was 26 yrs ago as I continue on today
living a sober life with a purpose and meaning.
To pass on my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like
before, during and after my addiction.
This is your time to leave behind your
addiction and replace it with something
healthier, more important to you and
your family. A life of sobriety filled with
gifts and promises to be grateful for.
The Gift of Sobriety is waiting for you.
Good luck...!!!!!
This is an incredible story. You didn't even get to say goodbye ugh! There were a lot of sad faces understandably, but really I got hope out of this. Isn't it way better being sober? Already 5 days sober and I love life. Sleep is the best
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Cleopatra4
No. Not really at least not some of the time.
at least not some of the time.dont beat yourself up over it. youre not a bad person, just a sick one, and there IS a solution!
its truly a blessing to read ya wanting to change and willing to put in the footwork to change.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi Cleopatra, you have made such a great, strong, BRAVE decision that will benefit you and your family so much. Congratulations on taking this big and scary step. I had a great experience in rehab. I was terrified of going too and didn't know how to organise the kids, how I would deal being away form them, but everything worked out and we are a much happier family for it.
I kept a thread going during my stay, you can read it if you like, to see what is in store of you and kill some nervous time while you wait for your intake. Every rehab is different and everyone has their own experience but this will give you a general idea of what to expect.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
I kept a thread going during my stay, you can read it if you like, to see what is in store of you and kill some nervous time while you wait for your intake. Every rehab is different and everyone has their own experience but this will give you a general idea of what to expect.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Isn't it better being sober is what you asked,
and id have to reply....and forgive me for this
cuss word, But..... HELL YES....!!!!
A thousand, trillion, infinity times so much
better, healthier. And what one heck of a
gift to give ourselves.
But you know what?????
I didn't have to learn how to live sober
on my own. Maybe because I was forced
into this situation, being sent to rehab
not by choice at first, but when given the
choice to learn about my illness, my sickness,
my disease, my addiction and why it turned
against me, didn't agree with me, to accept
that alcohol didn't work for me and never
did nor never will and replace it with something
the help me be healthier, happier, honest, best
person, mom, wife, person I can possibly be in this
lifetime, I embraced it.
Once you get some sober time behind you
and you begin to grow mentally, emotionally,
physically, spiritually, little bit by little bit,
as you build your recovery foundation stronger
to live your new life upon, then you will realize
that you are not alone in this and that there
are many in recovery and truly understand
what addiction was and what effects it had
on you and others around you.
Rehab will be like going to school to learn
and with some sober time behind you you
will be going with a a clearer vision and
openmind with willingness to absorb information
to bring home with you to face life with a
different prospective.
There is no urgency to remember everything
all at once because it will be a day to day learning
experience. Go into this with positive motivation
and do this for you. Because if you don't get healthy
then you wont be good for anyone around you.
If that makes sense.
This gift of recovery is yours so that you can
be the best person you can be for others
around you.
and id have to reply....and forgive me for this
cuss word,
But..... HELL YES....!!!! A thousand, trillion, infinity times so much
better, healthier. And what one heck of a
gift to give ourselves.
But you know what?????
I didn't have to learn how to live sober
on my own. Maybe because I was forced
into this situation, being sent to rehab
not by choice at first, but when given the
choice to learn about my illness, my sickness,
my disease, my addiction and why it turned
against me, didn't agree with me, to accept
that alcohol didn't work for me and never
did nor never will and replace it with something
the help me be healthier, happier, honest, best
person, mom, wife, person I can possibly be in this
lifetime, I embraced it.
Once you get some sober time behind you
and you begin to grow mentally, emotionally,
physically, spiritually, little bit by little bit,
as you build your recovery foundation stronger
to live your new life upon, then you will realize
that you are not alone in this and that there
are many in recovery and truly understand
what addiction was and what effects it had
on you and others around you.
Rehab will be like going to school to learn
and with some sober time behind you you
will be going with a a clearer vision and
openmind with willingness to absorb information
to bring home with you to face life with a
different prospective.
There is no urgency to remember everything
all at once because it will be a day to day learning
experience. Go into this with positive motivation
and do this for you. Because if you don't get healthy
then you wont be good for anyone around you.
If that makes sense.
This gift of recovery is yours so that you can
be the best person you can be for others
around you.
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