Day 34-still haven't gone to a meeting
 

It's day 34 and I still haven't followed through with going to a meeting. I know where they meet and I know what time, but every time I get into the car to go, I fail to bring myself to go. I don't know what I'm scared of. It just seems so scary to me to be around people. I've been isolated for so long. I'm frustrated with myself and with the whole situation. Feeling all these emotions without anything to numb it is getting to me.

What do you hope to get from going to a meeting that has you disappointed in yourself for not going?

First! Great job on more than a month! That's awesome. And good for you for considering AA- it has been critical to my sobriety like it is for many others.

Would it help if there was someone to go with you? I know my dad took me and often went in with me during my first 90 days.

Some places, you can call the local AA chapter/number and someone will go with you and even pick you up.

It's pretty common to be nervous or weirded out or "something" about getting started....you can do it. Have you looked around here at the AA/12 Step/Alcoholism threads? Lots of us have experience with getting started in AA and might be helpful.

Take care.

Congrats on Day 34!!

I'm sure others can chime in with encouragement.

But I am not a "meeting" person and I don't even think about them at all.

I do have my own personal meetings (if that makes sense). I go through my morning ritual of positiveness. (Yes I even look in mirror and say nice things about myself)..... If I don't no one else will (trust me) :-)

Don't beat yourself up for not going... If and When you are ready you will go.

for me that fear was fear of the unkown- what was behind them doors???
the doors to my 1st meeting were the hardest to open. they got easier as i went to more meetings.
is there an AA hotline number for your area you could call? maybe you could meet a member or 2 outside of the meeting place to walk with ya through them doors?

All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there. I dont know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didnt know that one of the definitions of courage is the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear. Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear. During the times I didnt have love in my life I most assuredly had fear.

courage is an amazing thing.

I'm not an AA person, but if you think meetings will help, then you should go. We are also here to offer support.

I hope to find sober friends. At the moment, I do not have any to talk to.

Being scared is ok! Nobody shows up to their first AA meeting in the best of shape. But don't let fear stop you, just go. I have driven around the block outside AA meetings in early days and reconciled to just stopping the car and getting out. You can do this and you will be so glad you did! I am over a year sober and have made so many sober friends in my AA experiences. Two years ago I thought I am the only person on the planet dealing with addictive tendencies and how alone I was - I could not have been more wrong! Good luck and keep us posted!

There is a meeting today (in an hour). I am going to go. I am hoping for the courage to get out of the car and walk in.

Thank you for the encouragement!

Doing anything for the first time can be daunting. I experience that, too, and then once I have got the "first time" out of the way, I wonder what I was afraid of.

Good luck at your first meeting, remember everyone there had to go for the first time, too. You are not alone :grouphug:

good on ya!

I went to the meeting. It was overwhelming at first, but I can see how it gets easier with each time. I am grateful for the encouragement.

Well done for leaning into your fear. It's liberating isn't it !

Will you be going back for another meeting soon?

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Awesome!!!

so you mean there wasn't really a Vat of Boiling Oil that they dip the Newcomers in after all????? LOL

:stirpot

way to go on walking thru your fears! :c011:

:You_Rock_:c011:

Nice job Ggirl!! Way to push positive!

Good for you, many of us felt the same way. Well done on sticking your neck out. ( Giraffe reference :) ) "We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek."

That second meeting is huge

Keep coming back

:c011: :scoregood :grouphug:

Good for you!

Addiction makes a dangerous lover. It wants us lonely, isolated and not getting better. It has many weapons in it's arsenal- shame, fear, fear of change, the 'judgement' of others, guilt and lies. Any change is difficult for me- in recovery. If you take a positive risk...and trust the intent of these meetings- to offer empathy and support- you may find it uplifting. The first meeting I went to - a more sad, pathetic, deranged and ill and lost human being would you see. A stranger offered to talk me thru the steps and coffee. He became my sponsor (guide,friend). I am not an AA zealot...but there is sense in the approach. Nothing I tried before worked- so I had NOTHING to lose (as I had already lost it all, including- briefly my life..3 times) and everything to gain. That human connection, I now believe saved my life a fourth time.
Give yourself a chance- give yourself permission to go to a meeting.
Empathy and support to you.