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Asking myself what is the point?

Old 06-20-2017, 04:10 PM
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Asking myself what is the point?

Just trying to get through day four sober. I am totally exhausted, huge headache, some shakes, sweating, grumpy and feeling hopeless. I am going to be 63 this July so I ask myself why bother to quit? I donít feel like I have much of a life ahead of me. I donít have a wife or a relationship, I donít have any children. Sometimes I just find myself thinking what is the point?
And I am dying for a drink. Please forgive me if this sounds like a pity party.
I canít go back to drinking. I donít think I have another quit or day one left in me to be honest.

asixstringnut
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Old 06-20-2017, 04:21 PM
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The absolute rock bottom incontrovertible point is... you're worth this effort

Your future is your hands.

If you want some, or all, of the things you mention, you need to stay sober.

Drinking consigns you to this kind of existence - miserable when drinking and miserable when sobering up.

It may feel like this week goes on forever, but it doesn't.
Odds are you'll feel better by the weekend

Get outside and get some sun on you - do some stuff. Play some tunes. Get busy living.

D
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Old 06-20-2017, 04:24 PM
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I agree with Dee, Six. I was older when I quit too - & my quality of life has become so much better than when I was younger. Yes, it did take an adjustment period & I was disillusioned a few times - but there's no point in going back to the old misery. Please give yourself chance to get free.
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:13 PM
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I am close to your age. I have kinda felt the same way at times but then I think back how miserable I was just before I quit and how good I feel now and there is no way I want to go back there! If you can just get a little time in one hour at a time you won't be sorry! Please hang in there!
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:25 PM
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I was pretty miserable my first week, asixstringnut. I tried to think of each day as one step closer to a better life. The longer I was sober the clearer my thinking became. A big weight was lifted from my shoulders. Hang in there... never give up! Give yourself a chance, you deserve it.

The feeling of doom will clear and positivity will take its place.

We're here for you.
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:28 PM
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I got sober (for the second time) when I was about 58. I'm 65 now and my life has never been better.

The point is to better yourself, your way of life, your health. At 63 you could have quite a few years left, so why not make the best of them. And if you keep drinking, terrible things could happen, one being that you might shorten your life.

Go for sober. It's worth it.
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:59 PM
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hey sixstring...I like the quote at the bottom of your post. never stop trying. that's how I been thinking for the past yr. that's the first time I really ever tried to get sober. I am 59 and have been a serial relapser since then. got seven weeks on my first serious attempt last summer and then just on and off struggle since then.i started in my early teens so it has been a long run. sometimes I wonder if i'm more sick of drinking or quitting.

also no kids no wife and no life. I just isolate in order to try and stay sober but that's what I did for the last couple yrs. of my drinking/drugging career. I was also abusing and got addicted to painkillers at the end. thank god there permantly gone. sometimes I think you just can't teach an old dog new tricks. I am currently at 3/4 days. about the same as you. in between craving right now. just got back from an AA meeting just to get out and they help some. sorry for babbling but I can feel for ya man. gotta keep trying.
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:16 PM
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I see a lot of friends come in at 60+. I live in a town that has a lot of rehab folks from around the country. Many come back in a few years to check in and most are so grateful for whatever sober time they've enjoyed.

No one has any idea how long we have, but for me being sober today is good enough. It's as if I was living in a world without color - just black and white. We can't expect in depths of withdrawal to have vision of a future - I had to give it time. I'm not far away from you in age as are many here.

Stick around - I'm glad you're here friend. Wait for life in living color to appear. It will
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:18 PM
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I'm 61, drank for 30 years plus. Put husband, children and even grandchildren through moments of hell. Finally, I couldn't handle the simple disgust on my family's faces anymore seeing me so bloated and ridiculous. I'm done and they are starting to smile at me again. In fact I even smiled at myself this morning in the mirror. Stay the course. We can stay sober. When the urge surges forth, I think of my last drunk and how close I came to death. And it is an ugly death.
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:39 PM
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Hi Six,

There are many people here on SR who have stopped in their 60s, and they are all very positive, and wonderful contributors. Lots of good advice above, and you will definitely be feeling better in a few more days.

Are you still working, or are you retired? If you are retired you may want to look into volunteering. Also, still lots of time to meet someone, and enjoy this stage of your life. You may even meet someone volunteering.

Keep checking in, you can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it!!
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:45 PM
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the point is....you GET another day. unless a tree falls on your house overnight and you don't drink, you are guaranteed another day on the planet. we get up each day for those who cannot. who don't GET another day. for those who have no CHOICE about the hell they wake up to. because waking up alive is a gift.
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:50 PM
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I developed a problem with alcohol in my late fifties., quit when I was 62. This month I am 3 years sober.
It is never too late to make a change for the better.
You will start to feel better soon.
Peace.
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:01 PM
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Originally Posted by asixstringnut View Post
Just trying to get through day four sober. I am totally exhausted, huge headache, some shakes, sweating, grumpy and feeling hopeless. I am going to be 63 this July so I ask myself why bother to quit? I feel like I have much of a life ahead of me. I donít have a wife or a relationship, I donít have any children. Sometimes I just find myself thinking what is the point?
And I am dying for a drink. Please forgive me if this sounds like a pity party.
I canít go back to drinking. I donít think I have another quit or day one left in me to be honest.

asixstringnut
I felt exactly the same. No wife, no children, no home, no job, no money, no friends, no prospects. This was the position from which I recovered at the age of 22. I couldn't see the point. People tell you if you stop drinking it will all get better. That was not true for me. If stopping drinking was all I did, it actually got worse. I wasn't keen on sobriety for that reason. My experience was that sobriety was horrible.

In the end the only thing I wanted for the misery to stop. There is more than one way that can be accomplished, but finally, I was miserable enough and desperate enough to reach out to the kind people at AA, with the slight hope that they may have a solution for me.

I got involved in the program, and in a short time life did take on some meaning, it got considerably better, and has stayed that way for a very long time. Are you willing to do anything to get rid of the misery? You could be in the exact right spot to make a great recovery.
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:31 PM
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:44 PM
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There is so much more to live for than alcohol.

I like that someone said "The point is you get another day" ......Unless a tree falls on your house (LOL now that was funny) Not very funny if it happens but I digress.

The mind set is going to make or break this situation. You can choose to fill your time with activities that do not involve alcohol and be happy, or you can choose to be drunk and be unhappy.

The first few weeks are the toughest for everyone. It was for me. It was for a lot of us. Expect to be uncomfortable and not know what to do with yourself and your time. ....

Structured time was essential for me in the beginning and still is. Filling those hours with productivity and everything else that did not involve alcohol. It was a must. It is still a must but maybe less so as I rack up those days. I am getting more comfortable....still new but more comfortable in myself.

We are here for you. Keep moving forward.
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Old 06-20-2017, 08:07 PM
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I've been lurking here for years. I've been afraid to post anything because I'm afraid I would jinx myself & set myself up for failure. I'm 62 & I haven't had any alcohol for 44 days now. That has never happened in my 30 plus years of drinking. It hasn't been easy & I'm too early to give any advice, but asixstringnut the difference in how I feel physically is amazing. I just keep reminding myself of the way I felt when I decided to give sobriety a shot.
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Old 06-20-2017, 09:21 PM
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Thanks to you all who took the time to comment and share I made it through day 4 without drinking.
Today was a very hard day for me emotionally but I was able to hang on to the hope that tomorrow might very well be better than today.
Seriously thank you all for the support and kindness.

asixstringnut
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Old 06-21-2017, 12:36 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
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Why are you on day 4?
Obviously, some part of you wanted to go 4 days without the poison.
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Old 06-21-2017, 12:52 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Labatty View Post
I've been lurking here for years. I've been afraid to post anything because I'm afraid I would jinx myself & set myself up for failure. I'm 62 & I haven't had any alcohol for 44 days now. That has never happened in my 30 plus years of drinking. It hasn't been easy & I'm too early to give any advice, but asixstringnut the difference in how I feel physically is amazing. I just keep reminding myself of the way I felt when I decided to give sobriety a shot.
Good for you labatty 💜
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Old 06-21-2017, 01:01 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
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If I take any 5 or 10 year period in my life and think about all the things I learnt, did, experienced and the people I met it's pretty mind-blowing...so by that rationale I could get all of that over again...maybe double that or more (I'm only 33 but hey you never know when it's gonna be your time). I think I'd rather take my chances and give it a go and have a year sober if that's all I get than risk living another 30 years battling alcohol because let's be honest it's not really living for us when alcohol is involved.

Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
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