First AA Meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
First AA Meeting
I wondered if someone can give me advice or tell me what to expect...I'm going to attend my first AA meeting tomorrow morning and am pretty scared for some reason. Not so much because I worry about being recognized, I guess just because I have to say (out loud) that I'm an alcoholic and need help. Which has been years in coming. I'm successful, in school to get my doctorate, married with a new baby, and I just can't seem to get a handle on my drinking. I need help. Thanks for any tips or advice you might have.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome, hime!
you dont have to say out loud youre an alcoholic. you dont even have to say anything if ya dont want to.
what to expect...personally i suggest dont expect anything more that a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that
they may solve their common problem and help others to recover
from alcoholism.
its hard saying other than that- there are quite a few different meeting formats- some are beginners meetings, some are step study meetings, some big book meetings, some topic meetings.
but i think the best thing i can say is youll find a place and people to help you.
i suggest picking up a copy of the big book of AA.
in fact, since your fist meeting will be tomorrow, you could start reading it tonight online to get an understanding of what the program is about
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
the first 164 pages are the program of action and after that are personal stories.
i was pretty amazed reading it - i was reading a book published 29 years before i was born that described me pretty good- not necessarily the drinking, but the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of.
id also suggest giving it a while- dont make a decision iffen AA is for you or not after one or two meetings. id suggest going to different meetings for a while and reading the big book in between.
and post here,too. theres a great community here to offer support and suggestions.
one more thing:
i had some major fear walkin into my 1st aa meeting. for me it was fear of the unkown- i was afraid of what life without alcohol was going to be like. i found me some courage and walked in.
lo and behold, there was a man sittin there( he was chairing the meeting) that i had remebered from some time before when i was court ordered. he had a big smile when he saw me and said,"hey, welcome back. im glad ya made it back."
you dont have to say out loud youre an alcoholic. you dont even have to say anything if ya dont want to.
what to expect...personally i suggest dont expect anything more that a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that
they may solve their common problem and help others to recover
from alcoholism.
its hard saying other than that- there are quite a few different meeting formats- some are beginners meetings, some are step study meetings, some big book meetings, some topic meetings.
but i think the best thing i can say is youll find a place and people to help you.
i suggest picking up a copy of the big book of AA.
in fact, since your fist meeting will be tomorrow, you could start reading it tonight online to get an understanding of what the program is about
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
the first 164 pages are the program of action and after that are personal stories.
i was pretty amazed reading it - i was reading a book published 29 years before i was born that described me pretty good- not necessarily the drinking, but the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of.
id also suggest giving it a while- dont make a decision iffen AA is for you or not after one or two meetings. id suggest going to different meetings for a while and reading the big book in between.
and post here,too. theres a great community here to offer support and suggestions.
one more thing:
i had some major fear walkin into my 1st aa meeting. for me it was fear of the unkown- i was afraid of what life without alcohol was going to be like. i found me some courage and walked in.
lo and behold, there was a man sittin there( he was chairing the meeting) that i had remebered from some time before when i was court ordered. he had a big smile when he saw me and said,"hey, welcome back. im glad ya made it back."
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good for you for deciding to go. It took me years to get to the rooms.
As mentioned, you don't have to say anything. I listened for a long time before I ever spoke- probably around 100 days! You will likely hear a lot of terms and sayings that you don't understand yet- that's fine. Getting the BB is a good idea- there is also a book called "Living Sober" that is a simple read and describe what a lot of us experience in the first year.
Take it one meeting. Then another. Then another. You might hear people suggest "90 in 90" - meetings/days - or even 30 in 30. This is a great idea both to form the habit of going (most of us AAers find that regular meetings are very important in our recovery) and so it begins to sink in- there is a whole lot to the program.
Try not to stress. Finally....at first I came a little late and left a little early- the Serenity Prayer really made me mad at first - so it really is ok to find your own way at your own pace.
Hope to hear back from you.
As mentioned, you don't have to say anything. I listened for a long time before I ever spoke- probably around 100 days! You will likely hear a lot of terms and sayings that you don't understand yet- that's fine. Getting the BB is a good idea- there is also a book called "Living Sober" that is a simple read and describe what a lot of us experience in the first year.
Take it one meeting. Then another. Then another. You might hear people suggest "90 in 90" - meetings/days - or even 30 in 30. This is a great idea both to form the habit of going (most of us AAers find that regular meetings are very important in our recovery) and so it begins to sink in- there is a whole lot to the program.
Try not to stress. Finally....at first I came a little late and left a little early- the Serenity Prayer really made me mad at first - so it really is ok to find your own way at your own pace.
Hope to hear back from you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome Hime Kaoru
Let us know how you get on
this is a pretty good link for first meetings in the USA
Your First AA Meeting<
D
Let us know how you get on
this is a pretty good link for first meetings in the USA
Your First AA Meeting<
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Him,
AA is a great way to make a new soberlife. I am a total AA supporter, but I don't go all the time.
If sr doesn't work, aa is my next step.
Imo...aa is a bit directive in nature. You start out on your own, but to grow in AA you will need a sponser.
If you can't stop on your own...and you want to stop...you will need some direction.
Get a sponser. 90 in 90..or more...gives a drunk something to do and is an AA imersion. I was able...so far..to stop on my own..so 90 meetings was too much...
Make sense?
If you need help to not relapse...ask.
Otherwise, listen, and talk if you want.
This response helps w my recovery...sorry if it seems to...know it all....
Thanks.
AA is a great way to make a new soberlife. I am a total AA supporter, but I don't go all the time.
If sr doesn't work, aa is my next step.
Imo...aa is a bit directive in nature. You start out on your own, but to grow in AA you will need a sponser.
If you can't stop on your own...and you want to stop...you will need some direction.
Get a sponser. 90 in 90..or more...gives a drunk something to do and is an AA imersion. I was able...so far..to stop on my own..so 90 meetings was too much...
Make sense?
If you need help to not relapse...ask.
Otherwise, listen, and talk if you want.
This response helps w my recovery...sorry if it seems to...know it all....
Thanks.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Meetings are wonderful but can be a bit random depending on who is there and why they want to talk about. It is quite a laborious way to find out about the program of AA.
My suggestion is to look out for someone who has been sober a while and looks like they have a good handle on things, and invite them to have a coffee and explain all about AA. They will answer all your questions. You will learn more in an hour or two than you would in fifty meetings.
That was my introduction to AA and one of the big pluses was that I learnt what part meetings played. It was not the meetings that got me sober, it was the program of action in conjunction with the meetings. That is worth knowing.
My suggestion is to look out for someone who has been sober a while and looks like they have a good handle on things, and invite them to have a coffee and explain all about AA. They will answer all your questions. You will learn more in an hour or two than you would in fifty meetings.
That was my introduction to AA and one of the big pluses was that I learnt what part meetings played. It was not the meetings that got me sober, it was the program of action in conjunction with the meetings. That is worth knowing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 101
What everyone else said.
I was in rough shape when I went to my first meeting, so I spoke up and asked for help right away. And people helped me.
You can say anything, or nothing at all. It helps to be honest, even if that means saying "I don't want to be here, but i think i might need to be." People will get it.
I was in rough shape when I went to my first meeting, so I spoke up and asked for help right away. And people helped me.
You can say anything, or nothing at all. It helps to be honest, even if that means saying "I don't want to be here, but i think i might need to be." People will get it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
Blah
I didn't go. I feel pretty lousy about myself, and I'm not sure what's holding me back. Actually, that's not true. I think I'm most worried about being recognized (I'm a nurse practitioner), which is so stupid because I have nothing but respect for patients and friends who are sober and consistent with AA. I'm also afraid of crying in public, which for some reason I think would almost certainly happen.
I'm 33; I had my first baby 3 months ago, and four days before she was born, my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I've been drinking waaaaaay too much (albeit functionally, if that's even possible) ever since. I'm also working on a doctorate and not taking any time off. I know that there are a lot of stressors contributing to my disease, but I can see my consumption affecting my energy level, my personality, my mood...pretty much everything. My husband is loving and supportive but doesn't drink at all, so can't relate much.
I really appreciate all of the replies and thoughts from you all. I have a plan to attend AA tomorrow.
I'm 33; I had my first baby 3 months ago, and four days before she was born, my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I've been drinking waaaaaay too much (albeit functionally, if that's even possible) ever since. I'm also working on a doctorate and not taking any time off. I know that there are a lot of stressors contributing to my disease, but I can see my consumption affecting my energy level, my personality, my mood...pretty much everything. My husband is loving and supportive but doesn't drink at all, so can't relate much.
I really appreciate all of the replies and thoughts from you all. I have a plan to attend AA tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Himekaoru, would it be possible to go to a meeting a little ways away from where ya live?
also maybe theres caduceus meetings near ya?
https://www.idaa.org/
i can understand, with your profession, being concerned about being recognized. i wasnt in a profession even close to that, but when the concern of running into someone i knew came up, and old timer said," welp, would ya rather them see ya at an AA meeting getting help or at the liquor store pickin up a 12 pack? maybe they are at an AA meeting for the same reason? maybe they can help ya get and stay sober?
huh!!!
my 1st meeting, when it came my turn to say something, all i could say was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more"
and broke down crying.
i didnt have to say any more- those people there that had worked the program and had recovered knew exactly where i was.
i cried quite often at meetings for some time.
and have at different times over the years since then.
p.s.
stop feeling lousy about yourself- youve done enough of that.
youre not a bad person, just a sick one and there IS a solution.
didja happen to open op that link i posted above and do some readin in the big book?
also maybe theres caduceus meetings near ya?
https://www.idaa.org/
i can understand, with your profession, being concerned about being recognized. i wasnt in a profession even close to that, but when the concern of running into someone i knew came up, and old timer said," welp, would ya rather them see ya at an AA meeting getting help or at the liquor store pickin up a 12 pack? maybe they are at an AA meeting for the same reason? maybe they can help ya get and stay sober?
huh!!!
my 1st meeting, when it came my turn to say something, all i could say was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more"
and broke down crying.
i didnt have to say any more- those people there that had worked the program and had recovered knew exactly where i was.
i cried quite often at meetings for some time.
and have at different times over the years since then.
p.s.
stop feeling lousy about yourself- youve done enough of that.
youre not a bad person, just a sick one and there IS a solution.
didja happen to open op that link i posted above and do some readin in the big book?
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Wow - give yourself a break. We can be so very self depricating, which I'm not giving a pass to us with drinking issues. There are no excuses and I had to learn how to deal with life certainly. But having a child recently, educational demands and an ill husband would make supergirl cry.
I hope you'll find a moment of grace as many here did to walk into a meeting. The sense of relief is overwhelming typically. Most feel that they have found a fellowship of others like themselves.
I have seen many health care professionals lead others by example - you will likely be one of those.
When I admitted I was an alcoholic it became unanimous. Glad you're here.
I hope you'll find a moment of grace as many here did to walk into a meeting. The sense of relief is overwhelming typically. Most feel that they have found a fellowship of others like themselves.
I have seen many health care professionals lead others by example - you will likely be one of those.
When I admitted I was an alcoholic it became unanimous. Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Like you I was worried about being spotted (I'm a teacher). I was also worried that I'd cry in my first meeting (which I did, and have also seen lots of other people do since my first meeting).
Chances are if anyone who knows you in your professional capacity saw you go in, theyd presume it was to do with work and were supporting a patient (no, that isnt the norm unless its an open meeting and someone has made that arrangement with a kind nurse, but people outside the fellowship don't know that) Far better than them chancing upon us after drinking anyway. The only people who'd know different would be any colleagues or patients who were also in the meeting because they too are alcoholics, and they're there for the same reason as you.
I know nurses from the rooms. And surgeons. And social workers. And solicitors. And mum's, and nana and granddads, and scaffolders and farmers, and authors.... I could go on. Alcoholism is undescriminating.
I found it easier to walk into a meeting once I'd made contact with AA beforehand. I suppose that it felt like I had permission then somehow. I'd tried and failed to walk into several meetings before that. Most people use the hotline number but I used the email response service.
Why not try again today. I bet there's another meeting close by.
BB
Chances are if anyone who knows you in your professional capacity saw you go in, theyd presume it was to do with work and were supporting a patient (no, that isnt the norm unless its an open meeting and someone has made that arrangement with a kind nurse, but people outside the fellowship don't know that) Far better than them chancing upon us after drinking anyway. The only people who'd know different would be any colleagues or patients who were also in the meeting because they too are alcoholics, and they're there for the same reason as you.
I know nurses from the rooms. And surgeons. And social workers. And solicitors. And mum's, and nana and granddads, and scaffolders and farmers, and authors.... I could go on. Alcoholism is undescriminating.
I found it easier to walk into a meeting once I'd made contact with AA beforehand. I suppose that it felt like I had permission then somehow. I'd tried and failed to walk into several meetings before that. Most people use the hotline number but I used the email response service.
Why not try again today. I bet there's another meeting close by.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,642
I WAS a registered nurse- then a nursing lecturer. I got to doctorate level and lost both- plus my wife and respect of my 2 adult sons- because I could not resolve my drinking...until it had reached catastrophic levels. Of course- I lost my career,l reputation, home..even most of my super.
I am 17 months sober now.
There is no shame- or impunity on you being 'recognised'. If someone approaches you and demands 'so- you are a NURSE and an ALCOHOLIC?? You cannot be trusted!'.... my response would be- 'yes I cannot drink. I have a strong support newtwork in place and I am strong for dealing with this proactively- do you have a problem?' Or ignore them. I used to feel the same way about letting anyone know I have (and probably always did) have major depression, or PTSD, or anxiety or blah.
Go to the meetings- other's do not matter. A doctorate is very demanding- cognitively and time wise. So is raising a young child, so is having a partner, so is the ACADEMIC politics and expectations revolving around the study.
Go to the meeting. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
My empathy, compassion and support to you. I understand that doctorate pressure- and drinking will make it worse. YOU are young enough and have the brains to change your cognitively distorted behaviours around alcohol. Use this awareness...
I am 17 months sober now.
There is no shame- or impunity on you being 'recognised'. If someone approaches you and demands 'so- you are a NURSE and an ALCOHOLIC?? You cannot be trusted!'.... my response would be- 'yes I cannot drink. I have a strong support newtwork in place and I am strong for dealing with this proactively- do you have a problem?' Or ignore them. I used to feel the same way about letting anyone know I have (and probably always did) have major depression, or PTSD, or anxiety or blah.
Go to the meetings- other's do not matter. A doctorate is very demanding- cognitively and time wise. So is raising a young child, so is having a partner, so is the ACADEMIC politics and expectations revolving around the study.
Go to the meeting. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
My empathy, compassion and support to you. I understand that doctorate pressure- and drinking will make it worse. YOU are young enough and have the brains to change your cognitively distorted behaviours around alcohol. Use this awareness...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 147
I went to my first meeting yesterday. It took me weeks to finally get out of the car and walk in. I was scared too, but after going yesterday I realized there was nothing to be scared of. Everyone is supportive there and just want to see you succeed. You will be in good company. It is liberating to face your fears. Pushing through that initial fear is absolutely worth it and you will be glad you did it!
You've got this!
"I don't want a never ending life. I just want to be alive while I'm here."
You've got this!
"I don't want a never ending life. I just want to be alive while I'm here."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 13
First meetings are scary. I hope you go soon.
It will be the first step to recovery. You are so young with a full and happy life ahead of you if you stop the destructive cycle now.
You will find hope and also a look into your future if you don't stop now.
I found my only way out in A. A.
So instead of being afraid, run to it because it is there where you will learn how to stop the insanity and learn the tools to sustain your sobriety.
I am an example of how bad it can get if you wait. Don't be me.
Good luck!
It will be the first step to recovery. You are so young with a full and happy life ahead of you if you stop the destructive cycle now.
You will find hope and also a look into your future if you don't stop now.
I found my only way out in A. A.
So instead of being afraid, run to it because it is there where you will learn how to stop the insanity and learn the tools to sustain your sobriety.
I am an example of how bad it can get if you wait. Don't be me.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 101
What everyone else said.
I live in a very small, very isolated Town. I had no other option than my local group for the first meeting.
So I was surprised when my friend was leading that meeting. In the rooms I also saw my kid's preschool teacher, a guy I know from surfing, another acquaintance, a County Commissioner, my neighbor from down the street, and a coworker.
I'm sending you positive energy for your situation and partner. I'll also plug AA - there is no better group for guidance (that I know of) for people who are dealing with alcoholism IN ADDITION to all of life's other Cr*p.
I live in a very small, very isolated Town. I had no other option than my local group for the first meeting.
So I was surprised when my friend was leading that meeting. In the rooms I also saw my kid's preschool teacher, a guy I know from surfing, another acquaintance, a County Commissioner, my neighbor from down the street, and a coworker.
I'm sending you positive energy for your situation and partner. I'll also plug AA - there is no better group for guidance (that I know of) for people who are dealing with alcoholism IN ADDITION to all of life's other Cr*p.
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