Out of touch need a jumpstart to change
 

Hi there I'm new here , mid 20s , wife of 6 years and mom of a toddler . I suffer depression, generalized anxiety and ptsd from a 5 year abusive relationship in my mid-late teens . I got married fairly young and lived isolated away from family and friends and my husband who worked long days . Had always drank but it wasn't something I was physically dependant on until the last 2 years. I'm a complete homebody and generally drink 1.5 litres of wine a night, wake up dazed and shaky , people always ask why I'm shaking and it's so depressing to say why and have them look at me with wary pity. My husband doesn't drink and I don't want to destroy my marriage any further financially , intimately or from being emotionally detached. I'm going to my first aa meeting tonight as recommended by my addictions counselor I've been seeing for 6 months. I'm so nervous I'll have a panic attack , or stick it out feeling uncomfortable and never go back ..i have half a 1.5 litre of wine next to me and am torn between should I have a calm the nerves drink before I go tonight or should I not to remain respectful . Either way those were some thoughts I was just having as well as a little background and introduction Haha. I hope this is the right place for me , I'm really having a tough time trying to quit without anyone in my support system having first hand experience with alcoholism and addiction.

Try very hard to go to the meeting sober, Mes.
They will welcome you with open arms.
This is a great support network, too, so keep posting.
Take care of yourself.

Hi Mes,

I hope you go to your meeting and that you go sober...it could kick start you into that momentum you're looking for. It's great you're seeing a counsellor and that you have signed up here.

Wishing you well on your recovery journey x

Welcome to the family. :) I understand about feeling nervous over going to the meeting. Try not to drink before you go. Introduce yourself as a newcomer and tell them you need help getting sober. :)

I'll bet you find it's not as scary as you thought it would be. :hug:

Hi Mes,

I used to shake a lot too...I can completely relate to the embarrassment. I also had panic attacks and extreme anxiety. Since I stopped drinking, everything has changed. No more shaking, panic attacks and I feel calm.

My advice is to pour out the wine and any other alcohol you have in your home. Go to the meeting sober and let your recovery begin. You won't regret the decision you've made!

Wishing you the best!

Just go to the meeting- nothing to lose- everything to gain..let us know how you are doing. Keep posting, perhaps join some of the community threads- like class of June 2017 or the report in 24 hour one- both in newcomer's. Support to you.

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement, I'll be going sober tonight wish me luck! 😁

Let us know how you get on mes - and welcome aboard :)

D

Hi Mes! It's great to have you here with us. Please do check in after the meeting. We'll be here. :)

Mes,

Dealing with life clean and sober was harder in the beginning. Now it is easier.

I am not giving advice much anymore since I am just a guy trying to keep it together and not drink. I am 25+ months sober. Everyday it feels a little better, a little different.

I was on a steeper decline to my grave while drinking. The decline grade has hopefully got much less now that I am a proudly clean man.

The essence of what I did to stay clean was being a copy cat. You can copy your hubby or folks at AA.

I know that my wife hardly drinks. My son (13) obviously doesn't' drink. I copied them. What do they do all day and night besides drinking.

The hardest part, for me now, is dealing with the mental issues for sure.

For me...thinking about bad stuff is normal (e.g. nobody likes me, I would like to punch my boss). As long as we don't obsess on and on. That is where projects, hobbies, SR, AA etc..come into play.

I believe we must work to clear our heads of negative thoughts and don't be hard on ourselves for negative thoughts. This is a win win situation. I like those.

I pray a lot when I am stressed. It fills my head. The brain basically can only do one analytical thing at a time. I try to stay brain busy. Working out is awesome.

That is all for now.

Thanks.

Welcome to the Forum Mes!! :wave:

Hey all just updating you to how my first meeting went last night! It was very inspiring and comfortable despite me being the only female there haha apparently I didn't get the memo about it being a men's group! Was still welcomed in and accepted . I'm excited to start this new chapter in life and appreciate this group of support I have to keep me going. Good luck to us all !

Well done Mes...it's fantastic you went and were made to feel welcome 💜

Good for you, Mes. Keeping going back. And read, read, read: this forum and there are many excellent recovery books out there. In fact, maybe someone can copy/ bump the thread for these resources.
Again, good luck. You will never regret this decision for a sober, clean, present life.
:grouphug:

Onya Mes!!!! I take it you mean it was a 'men's only' meeting or did you mean a meeting that was all men? I have been to a few where there were all non men - and me. I am glad you went and found it useful. I do meetings- 3-5 a week. Not so much for the AA dogma, the clichés or the 'quotes from the big book', but for the human connection and learning patience, respect and empathy for others through listening. It is also a way - to myself and others to show I am committed to my recovery- with measured action...proof.

It was open to both genders but was all male as is usually their normal crowd there . I am with you in the sense I'm not one for the cliches and quotes nor their traditions and prayers personally but I am all for the empathy and understanding of human to human and experiences shared. Individualization and motivation of commitment are what I think will help me personally in a program like aa.