jellybean80

The other day as I was sitting down to lunch with my little girl I had this vision of myself in my "drunk" life as I call it right now. Can we share these profound moments as motivation. I'll start:


Drunk life: Friday would start exhausted. Getting kids to school, try to clean house , (how many hours until 5?). Play with kids some, watch a movie on my phone (when can I open my wine?). Evening is here. Dinner is served. Wine is open. Daughters tune me out. Watch TV. ..... Wake up at 2 am, sweating, heart racing, headache , kids asleep..... I go in their room and look at their faces, so sweet and innocent. Now I hate myself for being so drunk when I put them to bed. They don't deserve that. I take a Xanax to sleep and calm my sense of shame and guilt. Wake up it's Saturday. Push reset and repeat...

Sober life: Friday I get daughter on bus. I take 5 year old to her well visit check. I take her to lunch for being brave getting her shots for kindergarten. We giggle at lunch. We get dinner items to make meatballs . We go to the pool for 2 hours. I actually swim with my child. I see he other moms so alive and present. I always wanted to be like that. We get home. 8 year old is home. We make meatballs. We talk about their day. We relax. I put them to bed. I see their faces. I check on them before I go to sleep. Their innocent and sweet faces. I feel proud of myself today. They deserve a mom who is present.

nova84

Hi jellybean...great thread 💜

3 weeks ago I was in bed with an excruciating hangover after an 11 hour binge the day before, I was in pain and feeling extremely anxious.

Today I am lying on a blanket in a beautiful park under the shade of a giant oak tree which is at least 91 years old (the park was founded in 1926). I have a good book with me and I just enjoyed a picnic for one.

PurpleKnight

My weekends used to be wasted with drinking, but even worse was the hangovers, struggling to do simple tasks, and my afternoons were spent not moving very much and watching the sports results/highlights on TV nursing a headache, to then repeat the next weekend.

My Sundays are now very enjoyable, I get up early, having had a restful sleep, clear headed I go for long walks, grab a newspaper, talk to the shop owner for a bit, and head to my local coffee shop, I sit and relax for a few hours reflecting on my week, and this is all before noon, I then have the rest of the day to fill with whatever I feel like, the amount of time I wasted with alcohol was shameful.

Enjoy your Sunday Jellybean!!

least

I used to wake up with the shakes and drink to stop them. Drink more, then pass out mid afternoon. Wake up feeling awful and drink some more to feel 'normal'. Dogs and cats are fed late, if at all. No dog walks as I was either too drunk or too sick to walk them.

Now I wake up feeling good. Feed the critters and take the dogs for their first walk of the day. Play with the dogs and cats. Maybe a second or third walk. Feed them on time, morning and evening. Go to bed feeling good and enjoy good sleep.

Anna

I'm glad you're doing well, Jellybean.

Mizzuno

The weekends never had a chance when I was drinking. All the potential thrown out the window due to being hungover.

Yes, your daughters deserve a healthy mother. You deserve to be a healthy mother.

Keep moving forward!

leasha24

I LOVE this post!!

After over a year and a half of sobriety I'm still so excited when I wake up each morning with a clear head.

Dee74

Great post jellybean - thanks

D

PhoenixJ

scoregood

jellybean80

Thanks all. I love reading these stories

Hevyn

I enjoyed that, jellybean. It's wonderful to know you're realizing the difference between the two 'you's'. I always thought I was faking it quite well - that no one knew I was impaired. I'd love to have back some of the lost years. Happy for you!