Charli23

Hi guys,
Day 15 for me today. The craving and desire for drinking seems to have left me , well the past few days anyway. I never told any of my family or friends that I quit drinking. None of them really knew how bad it was anyway, I was a real snake in the grass when it came to hiding it!
My point is , I don't really have any positive reenforcment at home or with friends only for this site I probably would be back on a day 1. People are noticing though, like when I was able to pick my sister up from the airport at midnight on Saturday or today when a work colleague asked did I have a few yesterday in the sun and I said no she looked shocked. (She and I would share drinking stories, she is absolutely an alcoholic)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know I'm doing great. Onwards and upwards. X

Maudcat

Keep at it, Charli.
That is great.
I told very few people that I had stopped drinking.
Mostly because I was afraid that I would relapse, and then what?
I didn't, but I don't regret keeping cards close to the vest.
It's really no one's business but yours.
And, as you say, if your family didn't know how enmeshed you were, they can't really be all that supportive.
People will notice that your appearance is better, and that you are different than before.
They just won't know why.

VigilanceNow

Great news!!! You might be surprised, though, at how many people know about our drinking and would be so supportive of the decision to stop. I too thought I was pretty sneaky, but when it finally came out, everyone knew so much more than I thought. I was shocked but relieved. Being an alcoholic requires lots of lying, lying by omission, and general truth bending. You might find more support and feel more secure in your sobriety if you come clean. But that's your choice! Congrats on 15 days :-)

Charli23

I know right! Even as I read the post back I think ... did they know what I was up to? The answer is probably yes. I would bring home 2 bottles of wine and have a couple of glasses with my mother and had an online college course for three hours and drink the other bottle alone. That was a few years ago . I really don't know how I passed my exams. Perfect example of functioning. There hasn't been any vodka in the house for the last couple of weeks but as I said to begin with my mother was the one who I drank with and she has switched to beer or cider. I'd say tue fri sat and sun. The last straw for me was when she got so messed up she was falling around the house and my father took a picture and showed it to her of her on the floor. I was so embarrassed because I was also an enabler. I paid for the booze. I could always hold it together sometimes you would never know I had a drink but I had to stop , it was spiralling over the past 5 years or so. Gosh, I'm burning just thinking about it. But she doesn't want to stop and I can't make her . I can only be responsible for my own actions and instead of listening to my AV , try and parent myself . Do what I can to make my life a great one not lying around hungover,sick , dehydrated and not giving a sh## about anything because I'm so ill.
Rant over ! 😂✌️️

doggonecarl

The potential danger in not being open about your quitting is there is no accountability to keep you from returning to drinking. What I refer to as, "keeping the back door open to drinking."

You family and friends didn't know you drank, don't know you quit, and if you return to drinking, no one is the wiser.

Except you, of course. You have you're own integrity to keep you accountable. Just make sure the "reason" that you are keeping your recovery a secret isn't the option to return to drinking in secret.

Mizzuno

I like what DC has said. Keeping it a secret means that you have an opportunity to consume if you so choose and no one would know the difference. That being said, your decision to quit and keep it a secret is completely up to you.

I dont talk of my recovery with people. It is not a part of the conversation. I am very open about my life and if it were to come up in conversation, I would not mince my words or hide the fact. The truth is available to anyone who questions but I am not on the rooftop with a megaphone letting the world know that I am an alcoholic. They probably already know anyway.

Stay close. Do what makes you feel comfortable. No one can tell you how to live your life. If you can find one person for face to face it would be helpful though.

PurpleKnight

Day 15 is fantastic Charli!! Keep it going!!