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Day 13 of no drinking

Old 06-17-2017, 07:02 PM
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Day 13 of no drinking

Hello everyone,
I'm new to this forum and just stumbled upon it looking for some moral support. I would say I was a functional alcoholic. I don't drink everyday, I have never missed work because of drinking, don't drink and drive but I have been a binge drinker on weekends. I have woken up embarrassed and full of regret more time than I care to admit. I'm finally taking steps to change my behavior and stop drinking. I have come to the conclusion that I can't even have one drink because I can never stop myself at just one. I have tried to just limit myself to 3 drinks so many times and if I start drinking I just don't want to stop. I have always been calculated with my drinking. When my kids were younger I would get them all tucked in bed and have my wine while they were asleep not aware I was drinking. There have been a handful of times as they have grown older that they have seen me drinking and being drunk. Not proud of that at all. My family is my top priority and they mean the world to me. We live a great family life. My husband and I are successful at our jobs, we do a lot with our kids, we travel, our kids are involved in club sports, we have a lot fun as a family but drinking has always been in the mix. I have always hated that but made excuses that we do it responsibly and it's not a big deal. My husband drinks to but keeps it together better me. If I have to much I'm loud, I repeat myself and you can tell I'm drinking. 13 days ago after drinking to much the night before and waking up regretful, with my husband upset with I decided I'm just done. I downloaded Allen Carr's book( absolutely great read) I read it in 3 days and have not had a drink since. I feel great, I don't struggle not to have a drink, I don't usually drink on weekdays at all, but come the weekend and I drink every single day right up to Sunday night. I feel so happy I have chosen to stop but I do have fears that I will want to start again. My husband is so proud of me but he is still drinking. Last weekend we had company over and instead of telling them I have quit drinking I made what looked like a cocktail ( no alchol) and sipped it so I would not have to have the whole conversation about stopping. I have a girls trip coming up with my girlfriends and I'm nervous that I will feel left out and not have a great time because I'm not drinking and I know all of them will be drinking. The difference is they can drink a few and stop. I feel like I'm rambling. I guess I'm just looking for advice and people who understand my situation and have been there too. I'm happy I found this site for support and learning from others in my shoes. Looking forward to any wisdom or advice.
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:12 PM
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Welcome Jenni.

I had a similar pattern. Usually three or four day binges. I lost control after the first drink, which showed I had the phenomenon of craving, a condition that does not occur in non alcoholics. My further problem was that I was unable to not take the fatal first drink. The many good reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favour of the insane ide that this time would be different, after all, I only wanted to have a good time. It seems I was without an effective 24/7 defence against the first drink.

Whether you are like that remains to be seen. You may not have travelled as far down the road as I did. A lot of folks can just make up their minds to stop and that is all here is to it.

But even if you are like me, and discover you have lost the power of choice, it is still possible to recover. It just takes more effort.
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:26 PM
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Hi and welcome, Jenni!

It's so good you are here. This forum is very supportive and full of wise, caring and experienced people. I can relate to much of what you say.

I'm also a wife, mother and (now former) wine drinker. I also was what you might call highly functional in that no one really knew.. I am successful in the work I do, I volunteer, I keep the household going, but nonetheless my world was getting smaller and smaller. It came to be way too much about wine: Drinking it, buying it, hiding it, recovering from it. It was making me sick and miserable, less and less productive, robbing me of my passions and interests and meaningful time with my children, and taking a toll on my health, looks and energy. To my shame, I realized it had become my main occupation and hobby.

I too started with just weekends, and then it crept to Thursdays and then Sundays.. and then just about every day. Everyone here says it's progressive, and I believe it. First it's a whole bottle of wine, next it'll be a bottle and a half.

I too tried to moderate, but once I had that first glass, all caution would go to the wind.

I've now been without any alcohol for 3 1/2 weeks and am feeling great.

Please stick around here and keep asking questions. The people here are wonderful, and Day 13 is terrific!

If you want to read my introductory story, here's the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rate-stop.html

Best wishes!
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:43 PM
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To be honest, it sounds more like one of those "I'm never drinking again" hangover promises that usually last about one or two weeks.

What it took for me to finally quit was not that mythical rock bottom that so many people speak of. I mean, I was already living in a mice infested sh*thole with no heating, no money, no job, no drivers licence and debt collectors the only people visiting me. Did it make me realize I might have some sort of problem? Nope.

It was more like an epiphany, not driven by any specific event, on an idle Tuesday night or something. Suddenly it hit me that alcohol or drugs did not do for me anymore what I was initially looking for in it. I realized it had become a burden that I carried around with me everywhere. It was like a lover I fell out of love with and I was never more sure of that I just wanted to get AWAY.

And so I did, 2 years ago and I never looked back.

I guess, if you’re like me, then quitting in the stage you’re at right now will not be so easy, especially not with that whole drinking crew still around you. And you also don’t sound like you’re done. But if your alcoholism progresses like me then there’s nothing further down the road then rock bottom after rock bottom.
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Old 06-18-2017, 12:28 AM
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Hi and welcome Jenni - I'm glad you found us.

Ten years ago I made a similar declaration and decision to stop and I'm still here and still sober

I had a head full of fears too - what would life be like sober, what would people think...will I be boring and no fun...

the upshot of it is everything worked out and I love my life now... I could never say that as a drinker

D
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:01 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Jenni!!
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Old 06-18-2017, 07:25 AM
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Thank you for the support everyone. Today is day 14 and I'm feeling really good today. I feel like I'm finding a lot strength and reassurance by just reading what others share here. I'm so happy I have taken these first steps and not had a drink in 14 days!!! I really proud of myself this morning. Someone suggested a book I started reading too.... Blackout. I'm really enjoying it so far. So nice to be clearheaded and present on a weekend to do something I enjoy and don't feel guilty about. Going to spend a great day with my family today and be able to completely participate in every second of it!! Happy day to everyone🎉
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Old 06-18-2017, 07:43 AM
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Day 14 is fantastic, Jenni37!!

I hope you stick around SR and do some reading as this place is filled with good stuff!

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Old 06-18-2017, 07:54 AM
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Welcome to the family and congrats on two weeks sober! Keep going, it gets better.
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Old 06-18-2017, 04:18 PM
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Congratulations on 2 weeks Jenni

D
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Old 06-18-2017, 04:20 PM
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Hi Jenni. 14 days is fabulous. We know how hard it is early on.

Being here helped me find the determination to stay on track. There was so much encouragement & support. We're glad you're here.
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Jenni37 View Post
Hello everyone,
I'm new to this forum and just stumbled upon it looking for some moral support. I would say I was a functional alcoholic. I don't drink everyday, I have never missed work because of drinking, don't drink and drive but I have been a binge drinker on weekends. I have woken up embarrassed and full of regret more time than I care to admit. I'm finally taking steps to change my behavior and stop drinking. I have come to the conclusion that I can't even have one drink because I can never stop myself at just one. I have tried to just limit myself to 3 drinks so many times and if I start drinking I just don't want to stop. I have always been calculated with my drinking. When my kids were younger I would get them all tucked in bed and have my wine while they were asleep not aware I was drinking. There have been a handful of times as they have grown older that they have seen me drinking and being drunk. Not proud of that at all. My family is my top priority and they mean the world to me. We live a great family life. My husband and I are successful at our jobs, we do a lot with our kids, we travel, our kids are involved in club sports, we have a lot fun as a family but drinking has always been in the mix. I have always hated that but made excuses that we do it responsibly and it's not a big deal. My husband drinks to but keeps it together better me. If I have to much I'm loud, I repeat myself and you can tell I'm drinking. 13 days ago after drinking to much the night before and waking up regretful, with my husband upset with I decided I'm just done. I downloaded Allen Carr's book( absolutely great read) I read it in 3 days and have not had a drink since. I feel great, I don't struggle not to have a drink, I don't usually drink on weekdays at all, but come the weekend and I drink every single day right up to Sunday night. I feel so happy I have chosen to stop but I do have fears that I will want to start again. My husband is so proud of me but he is still drinking. Last weekend we had company over and instead of telling them I have quit drinking I made what looked like a cocktail ( no alchol) and sipped it so I would not have to have the whole conversation about stopping. I have a girls trip coming up with my girlfriends and I'm nervous that I will feel left out and not have a great time because I'm not drinking and I know all of them will be drinking. The difference is they can drink a few and stop. I feel like I'm rambling. I guess I'm just looking for advice and people who understand my situation and have been there too. I'm happy I found this site for support and learning from others in my shoes. Looking forward to any wisdom or advice.
I could have wrote this. And I'm on day 13. 😚
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