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Hoping to start a new leaf

Old 06-17-2017, 12:33 AM
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Hoping to start a new leaf

Hi my name is sam, and I am 25 years old . I never used to drink or smoke till the age of 18 and would wonder why my friends used to do it, but at the age of 18 I gave into peer pressure and started binge drinking from then onwards.
Drinking has caused me a lot of pain, i have developed a reputation as a alcoholic, I have blacked out at weddings, office parties and even lost the love of my life cause she couldn't handle my drinking.
I don't drink often but when I do, I drink a lot .I recently moved to a new country and my drinking reduced significantly as for the past 6 months I have only consumed alcohol 6 times, however yesterday I drank again at my cousins bday. It wasn't a terrible time, I didn't make a fool of myself but yea I kind of ruined a good thing I was having with a new girl I just met by acting like a fool and also lost my wallet. Further I am unable to handle hangovers anymore and I feel like absolute garbage and tend to do stupid things during hangovers.
I want to give up alcohol , I have realised every bad thing that happens to me is one way or another related to alcohol. However the biggest obstacle I have is that I need alcohol to socialise. I am generally a introvert unless I know you and alcohol helps me to loosen up . Anyone can relate to this and help me. I hope to start my sobriety today and hope to keep it up and would know if I can maintain a daily blog on my journey?

Thank you for taking time to read this
Sam
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Old 06-17-2017, 12:45 AM
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Hi and welcome Sam

I think everyone here at one time or another thought they we needed alcohol to socialise.

I have to be honest, I'm a lot quieter than I used to be...but I'm not passed out on a corner at 830 in the evening either...

I prefer smaller more intimate gathering these days and I've accepted I'm quite shy.

My real friends accept that about me just as I accept them and all their personalities ...and, trust me, my social life has never been busier since I entered recovery

I'm glad you've found us

D
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Old 06-17-2017, 03:13 AM
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Hi Sam, good for you on making the decision to embrace sobriety and dump alcohol and all the pain (physical, emotional and psychological), shame, guilt and regret that alcohol brings with it.

I do not consider myself a shy person so I can't really relate to feeling as though I can't socialise without alcohol but I do have experience of socialising with shy people and I don't think any less of them...in fact I admire people who can just listen and quietly take in what is going great on around them without feeling the need to be the centre of attention or cutting in and over-talking others. Then when they do speak I consider it to be worth listening to otherwise they wouldn't say it.

Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
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Old 06-17-2017, 03:44 AM
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That's a bit of a conundrum isn't it? Need alcohol to have a social life, have alcohol and it is destroying your social life. Follow that to its logical conclusion and soon there will be alcohol but no social life.

I was 22 when I reached that point. I recall bein thanked for not drinking at one occasion, and a couple of other times being thanked for not turning up. I had got to a point where the only invitations I got were invitations to leave.

So thinking it through a bit, perhaps what is needed is the ability to socialise without alcohol. I think of it as rejoining the human race. As Dee suggests, it might be a little different, maybe quieter, but it can be done. Millions of us have done it, and discovered that alcohol is not necessary to socialise.
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:13 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Sam!!
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:50 AM
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Im over twice your age, and it took me 40 years of alcohol abuse to get to the point of realizing that I needed to do something....so glad that you are addressing this now at your age!

There are many ways to recovery (AA, Smart Recovery, moderation, etc), you will have to find what works for you. Maybe you could start with a Sober 30...commit to absolutely no drinking for 30 days, no matter what. If 30 is too overwhelming, how about a sober 10 to start?

I have found that every time I do this, it gets easier. In between the sober 30's, I worked on lessening the the amount and frequency of drinking. This has worked for me, actually I am now on day 27 of 30...my birthday was this week and it was not a problem to not drink.

I have created a FB group call Drunken Angel - Inspiration to empower those struggling with addiction. I invite you (and everyone) to join!
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:00 PM
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Thank you to everyone for your kind replies.
Its day 2 and I have finally gotten over the hangover. When I was having a shower the thought came into my mind whether I was overreacting , but I completely blocked it out. I have tried giving up in the past but somehow always come back to drinking casually at first and then going back to normal, but this time I just started thinking about all the bad things that alcohol has brought.
This friday is my birthday and I am going back home to meet friends and family. I know they have organised a party and there will be drinking, I have made up my mind to inform them that I have given up and this will be the real test.
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