getting increasingly worried
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
John,
you say AA is only a tool...maybe so.
seems you're in dire need of tools, though, and then the action of actually using them.
there are other tools, too, such as AVRT.
or counseling or medical help or...if you do not wish to actually use the available tools, then...what?
there is no magic.
you say AA is only a tool...maybe so.
seems you're in dire need of tools, though, and then the action of actually using them.
there are other tools, too, such as AVRT.
or counseling or medical help or...if you do not wish to actually use the available tools, then...what?
there is no magic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 2muchpain 
tomsteve, I've checked on other recovery programs in my area but the only one is AA. I have no problem with AA, but I know as a new person they will ask me if I have a sponsor and have gone through the steps. If I'm honest with them (and I hate lieing), that always leads to problems. I'll keep looking. John
and you are allowed to set boundaries in AA and stand up for you.
ya know, a simple answer to anyone who asks if you have a sponsor or if youve worked the steps:
"its not your business"
and dont engage any more. let em whirl.
however, a new person shouldnt be asked if theyve worked the steps.
theyre kinda new, so probably havent.
if a new person is asked if they have a sponsor, its out of love- people know the steps are better understood with the guidance of someone who has been through the steps.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
Don't know what would remove the fear that is holding me back.
If you mean AA; that's only a tool. John
If you mean AA; that's only a tool. John
i have a rolling toolchest full of tools and quite a few stationary power tools,too.
nothing gets built or repaired unless i use them.
wanna combat fear? get some courage:
All these feelings generate fear- a soul sickness in itself
"Fear knocked at the door.faith answered. No one was there." i dont know to who this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. i create the illusion myself.
i experienced fear early in my lifeand i mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. i didnt know that one of the definitions of "courage" is " the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear." courage,then is not necessarily the absence of fear.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
John,
I am not in AA but I have had experience with AA in the past.
Working the steps and getting a sponsor is up to you. Its no ones business what you are doing and how far along you have come with the program. If AA sounds like something that you would like to do then just go and sit in a meeting. Listen, drink the overly strong coffee, and eat the cookies provided. You do not have to engage with anyone. You do not have to "share". You can create any boundary you would like.
You can also use this forum, use exercise, use a book or anything of your choosing as a tool to get sober. You already know all of this. You have done it before and you can do it again.
I dont know what set you off down this road to drink? Our mind can say just about anything it wants. What I do know is that your actions after the thoughts are making or breaking your sober road....... you already know this.
Rooting for you to get back to sobriety and get on with your life. If that is what you want?
I am not in AA but I have had experience with AA in the past.
Working the steps and getting a sponsor is up to you. Its no ones business what you are doing and how far along you have come with the program. If AA sounds like something that you would like to do then just go and sit in a meeting. Listen, drink the overly strong coffee, and eat the cookies provided. You do not have to engage with anyone. You do not have to "share". You can create any boundary you would like.
You can also use this forum, use exercise, use a book or anything of your choosing as a tool to get sober. You already know all of this. You have done it before and you can do it again.
I dont know what set you off down this road to drink? Our mind can say just about anything it wants. What I do know is that your actions after the thoughts are making or breaking your sober road....... you already know this.
Rooting for you to get back to sobriety and get on with your life. If that is what you want?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey John, you can do this, it's no fun going round in circles, the alcohol merry-go-round can seem never ending, and eventually our health isn't invincible.
The volunteering sounds good, but think of it this way, your summer is yours, YOU get to decide how you spend it and it can be as enjoyable and fulfilling as you want to make it, that's the power you have in your own life, looking back over these few months you can create something memorable away from the limbo of drinking and TV, I know which one you'll get most from.
You can do this!!
The volunteering sounds good, but think of it this way, your summer is yours, YOU get to decide how you spend it and it can be as enjoyable and fulfilling as you want to make it, that's the power you have in your own life, looking back over these few months you can create something memorable away from the limbo of drinking and TV, I know which one you'll get most from.
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Fear is a tough thing to overcome. But sometimes you just got to take a chance and do some of things you are most fearful of. I think it's okay to explore those fears and ask yourself what you are MOST afraid will happen if such and such occurs.
Example: Afraid to go to an AA meeting because afraid of what the people there will think and/or say; how they will treat you; questions they would ask.
I've gathered you have a tendency to isolate from people. Ever wonder why that is? Do they just get on your nerves? Are you afraid of what they will think of you? Do you get irritated by what other people say? Or is it mainly fear? So what if people look at you. Who cares what they think? And if they say something or ask you something, have a ready response. It's perfectly acceptable to say, for example: " I don't have a sponsor and don't know if I even want one. I'm here to listen and absorb right now." THAT'S OKAY.
See I think part of the problem in interracting with others is the "expectations" we think they'll have of us. But, you sort of need to toss that aside and just know what it is you need to do for yourself. Open your heart and mind to the possibilities. You might hear just the thing you need to hear at the time...
Example: Afraid to go to an AA meeting because afraid of what the people there will think and/or say; how they will treat you; questions they would ask.
I've gathered you have a tendency to isolate from people. Ever wonder why that is? Do they just get on your nerves? Are you afraid of what they will think of you? Do you get irritated by what other people say? Or is it mainly fear? So what if people look at you. Who cares what they think? And if they say something or ask you something, have a ready response. It's perfectly acceptable to say, for example: " I don't have a sponsor and don't know if I even want one. I'm here to listen and absorb right now." THAT'S OKAY.
See I think part of the problem in interracting with others is the "expectations" we think they'll have of us. But, you sort of need to toss that aside and just know what it is you need to do for yourself. Open your heart and mind to the possibilities. You might hear just the thing you need to hear at the time...
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