Recently sober, but my husband has stopped talking to me
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 147
Recently sober, but my husband has stopped talking to me
I very recently became sober. My husband has recently been hitting drugs and alcohol harder than I've ever seen him. Days after I detoxed he stopped spending time with me, being at home and even talking to me. Because of the drugs and alcohol being around, I had a hard time staying sober in our home so I had to leave. I told him that I wasn't leaving him...just the environment. He told me if that's what I needed to do, then I should do it. Since I left he will not answer my phone calls or text messages. It has been weeks since I've heard from him. I don't know if I need to wait around for him or if I need to take the hint and leave for good.
Being sober is extremely important to me and I love my husband, but I don't know that he loves me anymore. I wish I could talk to him, but when someone cuts you off so suddenly like that I can't help but think he has already decided he doesn't want to be with me. How do you deal with something like this and focus on your sobriety. Do you wait it out or just make a clean break so you don't get hurt more than you have to?
Giraffegirl2013 is online now Report Post
Being sober is extremely important to me and I love my husband, but I don't know that he loves me anymore. I wish I could talk to him, but when someone cuts you off so suddenly like that I can't help but think he has already decided he doesn't want to be with me. How do you deal with something like this and focus on your sobriety. Do you wait it out or just make a clean break so you don't get hurt more than you have to?
Giraffegirl2013 is online now Report Post
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Giraffegirl. Welcome.
It's great that you have decided to become sober. Your chances of staying that way are greater if you have a program, like AA, Rational Recovery, or SMART.
Especially if your spouse is still drinking and using.
Don't have any advice for you regarding your husband, except that things will go the way they are meant to.
Hard, I know.
Good luck. Keep coming back.
It's great that you have decided to become sober. Your chances of staying that way are greater if you have a program, like AA, Rational Recovery, or SMART.
Especially if your spouse is still drinking and using.
Don't have any advice for you regarding your husband, except that things will go the way they are meant to.
Hard, I know.
Good luck. Keep coming back.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Giraffegirl, I'm sorry that your husband is still using. But you won't regret getting sober or leaving the additive environment. My recommendation is very simple develop the sober healthy you and see if possibly your husband decides to join you. Users admire people who get free and it gives them hope that someday they can break free too. Whether you end up staying with him or not you will always be that beacon of getting sober for him. That being said, nothing happens quickly.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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I hope you continue to focus on your recovery. It could be that your husband is threatened by your sobriety or there could be other issues involved. Keep working on your recovery for yourself and you will always find lots of support here.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
You do you! Keep moving forward. Of course it is hard when people stop talking to us......like our marriage partner. I dont have any words for that part of the equation but I do know that being sober is a priority. If you stay on this path a lot could change for you. A lot. Give it time and give it your all. Proud of you for standing your ground and realizing your importance. You are important. Alcohol and drugs are not.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,873
Congrats on your first month!!! 
That's something to be really proud of......sorry I don't have any relationship advice - I dumped mine a long time ago, been single ever since & am having a blast! Stay close to SR - you're in good company! 
That's something to be really proud of......sorry I don't have any relationship advice - I dumped mine a long time ago, been single ever since & am having a blast! Stay close to SR - you're in good company!
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